A Man Behind A Emotional Mask?

I started wearing my mask as a young boy. When I was brought up to be tough, not to cry, not to be sad, or not to talk about emotions that I felt. Boys back then were taught to be seen, but not herd. Putting a mask of something else was how you would get through life. All this still goes on today, but in a much worse way.

I remember not being the same as the other boys in school, I was smaller, weaker, and not as able to compete with the bigger kids. I wore a mask to hide my true self. I was verbally abused, not only by the other kids, but also the adults that were suppose to keep you safe and watch after their students. I guess recess was their coffee breaks.

The emotional abuse I took made me wear a mask so others wouldn't see my pain or emotion, in hope that they would leave me alone. I suppose wearing that mask as a kid only just made me a target for other kids. No matter what I left that mask on and pretended it didn't hurt me. Even with all the arm punches, push around, purple nurples, and the heavyset kid thinking it was funny sitting on the small guy.

Growing up I kept my mask on though out the years and ended up joining the military. I ended up in a combat unit, where any emotional, or physical weakness was frowned upon, or you were hazed. So I changed my mask to be tough and strong to fit into the crowd. It was working and hardly anyone picked on me, I still suffered though, underneath I was scared, wanted to go home, or just talk about how I felt.

Now of course there was a open door policy, but everyone who went though that door was a traitor to the unit, so I hid beneath my mask. Around that time we went to war, I had to put on even a stronger, and more tough mask then. I was scared out of my mind, I was 18 years old, when I was suppose to be having the time of my life, going to school dances and proms, instead I was being shot at and was getting bombed at every night.

When I was discharged out of the military the only skill I had was to fight and be tough. I was in for a big surprise. Regular life wasn't what I thought it would be. My parents taught me a lot in life, except how to live it. I didn't know how to pay bills, I couldn't hold jobs, and moved back in at my mom's place several times.

Since I was 21 I wore a special mask, but by wearing these mask nearly destroyed me. For 12 years and job after job, I began thinking there was something wrong. Afraid of doctors my whole life for different reasons, I would never tell them my real horrors and worries, in fear they may put me in a hospital, no doctor would listen. Finally I had a nervous breakdown, I had to find a doctor.

I finally found a doctor that listened to me and my story, my mask was finally down, but at what cost? After wearing that mask all those years gave me serious psychological conditions, which has made me disabled. I suffer from several mental conditions, all from not letting myself out from underneath that mask. I'm in good hands now, but the conditions are permanent.

I wonder sometimes if I would have always shown who was behind the mask things might be different. I guess I will never know. Maybe this is my fate, and this is how it was always suppose to be. For all those years hiding behind the mask took a toll on me, and now I'm free of it. Seems very scary most of the time, usually I can't even get out of the house. So all I can do is take one day at a time, and hope this message reaches others hiding behind their mask, to know it's ok now, people are here to help.

The problems of the old times are worse than ever. We need to teach our kids that it is ok to cry, that it's ok to have emotions. Most of all we need to change as parents on what we are teaching our children. If you are teaching your kid to be tough, he may be someone's tormenter at school. We need to listen more, even the tough kids have problems they are dealing with, and we act if it is just normal at their age.

The truth couldn't be further. Facts are times have changed. we have gays, trans-genders, bisexuals, and straight kids out there. They feel just as much as any other person in the world, if not even more that we do. Our society as a whole needs to educate kids about this stuff, and make it be known that it's not right to bully a person because they are different. They should be treated that same as anyone else.

Teacher's you have a responsibility now more than ever to stop the hate, the racism, the bullying, and educate these children before it's to late. In today's time the hate and torment doesn't just stay at school, it comes home on social media just driving kids into a deeper and darker place than they already are. Parent's you also need to take control and teach that it is not right to say or do mean acts against others, not just the different kids, but to every kid. One word can cut deeper than a thousand knives, but a kind word can lift up a million tons.

I know more gay men that are more manly that most straight men. Why is there all this hate in the world today? Do you have nothing better to do? Are they hitting on you? More than likely not, you are just afraid of someone who is different than you. It's like seeing a cow with wings, but why the prejudice?

We live in a country where we are free to be anything we want. It is not against the law to be gay or bisexual or heterosexual, football fans, soccer fans, or ping pong fans. Point is it doesn't matter we are free to be what we want to be. If your a man and want to be a women, that ok there is nothing wrong with that. It's a new age we are in and we need to get with the program.

As adults we need to teach our children to treat all people the same. Did you know that the average 18 year old has seen over 200,000 acts of violence on TV, and over 40,000 murders? Then people are always wondering "What's wrong with these kids today?". Well that is because they are running around unsupervised all the time and don't have any respect for anyone or anything.

Parent's you have to be the one to step up and say and do something. You just can't wait for someone else to do it for you, it's your job no one else's. Educate your kids, they spend on average 40 hours on TV a week, 15 hours on gaming (mostly violent), and nearly 2 hours of viewing porn a week. Is it to much to ask to take a few of those wasted hours and teach your kids right from wrong? Maybe our future's might be a little less violent if we take action.

The facts on what gay's and straight's alike need to work on from getting out from that mask.

• Sports can create or destroy character.

• Need a listening ear and helping hand in today's time.

• Stop teaching domination and aggression.

• Absence of sexual education and sexuality.

• Treating people fairly at school, work, and society.

• Teaching boy's is ok to cry and talk about things.

• Teaching people not to feel guilty, but to be proud.

• Learning a man can be gay and still be masculine.

• You can be manly being raised by men or women.

• How name calling and labeling affects people.

The list could go on, and on stop the hate and come out of your mask's.

"He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it."