- Politics and Social Issues»
- Social Issues
Tips on Being a Southern Gay Boy
A Southern Gay
Being gay in the South can be really difficult. Before I even knew I was gay I was laughed at and called many mean and cruel titles. (Even to this day some kids yell and call me derogatory names for gay even though I am 25 years of age!)
I used to have my own homophobic thoughts back in 2011 (when I was first coming out publicly) in which I would state something along the lines of "I'm gay because I was bullied" or "I'm gay because..."
The truth of the matter is this. I'm just a Southern gay boy trying to find his way in a world that is full of not-very-kind people as well as the awesomely wonderful persons that are a little different. I have special talents such as writing music and playing the piano and sax that already set me apart but what a lot of people don't know is I struggle with my self image on a day to day basis...mainly a select number of people are cruel and use their homophobic and discriminatory feelings against me.
So, I asked myself "How do I become a proper gay man in the South?" Well, I decided to make a list and talk about them so I can share what I have learned over the last 2 years of being OUT & PROUD!
#1 - Be True to Yourself
To be a southern gay you have to act like one! So, sow do you act one? Well, you just be yourself...it is as simple as that. I don't like the use of labels and stereotyping people into certain categories. Everyone is a little different and I think it is best if you just let your colors shine through the way you find most comfortable.
I also prefer to avoid using word word gay too much because it does define, but because gay is a positive life affirming word for me I decide to use it to mean that "I am a happy man that loves other men. I'm crazy about boys and I love to make beautiful music!"
By being true to yourself you can never go wrong.
#2 - Be Proud
Have you ever seen those commercials for the Marines? Some soldier is climbing a huge rock and when they get to the top they are awarded their uniform, get cleaned up an announce is made that states, "The few, the proud, the Marines".
You have to be proud of who you are and who you love. Your light will shine to other people and the way you carry yourself says a lot about you and can definitely make a very good impression for the gay community in general. We as a group need good publicity because now is the time we are claiming our civil rights all over the world.
So, are you proud? Do you let your powers shine?
#3 - Say Away From Haters
It is very important as an LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning) person to stay clear from all the haters you can. Obviously, you will run into haters more often then you would like but the point to to stay clear from them. Also, Bible Bashing and other means of trying to argue will do you no good at the end of the day except a feeling a frustration because:
A) That person has already made up their mind about gay rights.
B) That person has unhealthy homophobic beliefs and / or feelings.
The best option is to stay away and just say something nice. If you need to defend by all means defend your position, but don't stand there all day wasting your breath on people that really just want to pick a fight...either literally or figuratively.
#4 - Always Use Protection
I bring this up because I know way too many people that are not safe with their sexual encounters. Make sure you always have a good stalk of condoms that fit your penis (regular to XL) and a good lubricant. I know people do not wish to see this information printed; however, horrible diseases and such are spread when ANYONE gay or straight does not use a condom when having sex.
If you need any recommendation or have any questions or comments feel free to ask below and I will make sure you get an answer. This is so important to me. I have known people personally who have gotten infected with the H.I.V. virus. Do not let this be you.
I want you to commit today. Fill out the poll today. No is not an option unless you are in a committed relationship and you KNOW your partners status and that neither have other sexual partners.
Do you promise to always use a condom in your sexual encounters?
A Gay Icon and Supporter of LGBT Rights!
#5 - Love Yourself
Rejoice and love yourself today 'cause baby your were born this way. - Lady Gaga
When I say love yourself I mean take care of your body and pamper it with all the wants and needs you can give it. They often say gay people spend a little more time and money on recreation since many don't have children, but regardless of any of that you should spend that time and money on you.
Get a massage. Go out to your favorite restaurant or gay bar. Buy yourself a new shirt and pants. Make new friends. (I have an entire hub dedicated to pampering yourself.)
Part of being gay is networking and it has been especially helpful for me to go out to all the dance bars and watch drag shows, go-go dancers, and to dance the night away. Making connections can be hard when there are so few in numbers of people that are gay, out, and proud. So, make the first step.
In the South, some good cities for meeting gays include - TENNESSEE: Nashville, Murfreesboro, Cookeville, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. In GEORGIA - there is the Gay Capital of the South: Atlanta!!! Go to the furthest south of the U.S. into Florida and you get Miami. (Those are just a few cities that I have had success in. Miami is great for beaches and fun times!)
In closing, I hope that you have found my blog / hub to be enlightening and uplifting. I love to write positive things about my life and being gay has been one of the greatest things that has happened to me. I am happy, fulfilled and I hope that you can feel the same way on your quest to walk your own path and follow your own rainbow.