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Hurtful Words-Who Needs Them-Our Words Have Power To Hurt Or Heal

Updated on June 24, 2012
Ugly or Beautiful- Which Words Will You Choose?
Ugly or Beautiful- Which Words Will You Choose? | Source

Word Wounds Leave Scars

When Words Hurt

As children we repeated a rhyme we had heard many times. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” This is one of the most incorrect statements ever made. Indeed many people have been so wounded by words that their entire life became an unhappy existence. And thousands have committed suicide because of pain that words created. Even when one is an adult, words wound and impact us to an extent that we become defensive, angry, hurt, and happy and a dozen more emotions.

I am a people watcher and find it fascinating to see and hear the things people do. Simply astounding! Recently, I overheard a lovely young woman telling her grandmother about a silly thing she had done. This well educated, beautiful young lady just burst out happily with, “I am such a retard!” I was shocked and appalled. She never even realized what she had done.

How does one become so accustomed to slang and prattle to the point of not realizing the pain and revulsion of this word? I hear countless people use this slur and never fail to be amazed at the thoughtless and careless manner in which it is thrown out there. Many renditions of the word are used in various settings and always inappropriately because the user has no idea of the true meaning and correct use of this word.

Would one just blurt out a racial slur or an ethnic denigration? Not likely in this age in this age of political and social correctness. How this horrible word is tolerated and even laughed at confounds me to no end. Where is the forethought and consciousness of one’s surroundings?

Does a parent with a handicapped child find it funny? Does a physician who works with mentally challenged individuals laugh? Does the person with the challenge feel empowered ot lessened? If a word or phrase is without positive impact, refrain from using it. As a matter of fact, we are commanded by God to control and bridle our tongue and are counseled about the power of words.

I have a lovely young niece who is developmentally and mentally challenged. She is so loving and precious that her soul shows through those huge blue eyes. The idea that she be made to feel lacking or hurt by having this word uttered in her vicinity causes my heart to break. These mentally challenged people are not stupid, unfeeling or uncomprehending. Many of them are well read and know exactly what this word means. Even if he or she does not recognize the meaning of the word, the speaker does and is showing disregard and disrespect by spouting it out loud. Just having it in one’s mind should mean that your way of thinking needs a wakeup call. There is an easy fix for this problem!

Use your words wisely and do not resort to slang or cursing. It is unnecessary and detracts from your verbal skills. Few things cause a lovely person to lose respect quicker than a filthy or careless mouth. You are perceived so much better when you use manners and do not resort to lower your standard of speech.

To think before speaking is a wonderful habit to form. Picture the impression in a viewer’s mind when he or she thinks of you. Don’t you want it to be of a poised, well spoken, considerate person rather than a crude and thoughtless person who regurgitates useless words without considering the impact on the hearer?

Courtesy of

re·tard   /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Spelled[ri-tahrd]

–verb 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede. –verb 2. to be delayed.

–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.

Slang: Disparaging a mentally retarded person. b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

The Holy Bible

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Matthew 15:18 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.

Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Matthew 12:36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Proverbs 13:3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.

James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Matthew 12:37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Proverbs 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

Proverbs 29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

James 3:1-12 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! ...

All photographs and text on this site are protected under United States and international copyright laws-© Brenda Barnes.


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