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Passing on life

Updated on July 26, 2015
 As I came into this world full of dreams
As I came into this world full of dreams
Now I will insure his dreams are met with inspiration and hope, the rest is up to him
Now I will insure his dreams are met with inspiration and hope, the rest is up to him | Source
My daughter and new son inlaw will never have to see the trauma of childhood abuse.
My daughter and new son inlaw will never have to see the trauma of childhood abuse.
Me,I will never forget and will always teach
Me,I will never forget and will always teach
My mother at age 93,dosent have a clue
My mother at age 93,dosent have a clue

Passing on life

As I set at my computer here in the Court House working my new regular job, I'm reminded by the faces I see every day just how diverse this country really is.

Please help me to rediscover humanity, as we live it, and as it changes from what we always new to what it is today. Is there a difference in life that I missed.

Growing up in the fifties and sixties was tough but honest. Those of you that remember this,A home was a place where your family was. Your family structure was different from household to household. I grew up in a very violent home life, but you do get used to it and look around the corner for something different.

I'm reminded of just one time setting on my bicycle frame, that's all there was both the front and back spokes were stuck in the ground. I dreamed about riding this bike someday so I had to figure out hoe to get it done. That's what I mean about kids and dreaming, having a place in your mind to go when everything else is so chaotic in your life.

Do you remember any of your childhood dreams, things you wanted to do even though you had no idea how in the hell to get there from here. One of the things I remembered most of all was jut trying to cook. My mother work at Northgate shopping center in Tampa, Florida. We lived in a run down wood frame house with a central kerosene heater in the middle of the floor. We didn't even have hot water at first. I guess I'm around age eight or nine at the time and I had a full time job taking care of my little brother Kirby.

I had a big brother and big sister that lived at home, and two others that lived in Minnesota . Trying to make sense out of things then were simple at the time. I remember only bad things happening to me and my sister at this time by our step dad. This man we will not say much good about . This relation lasted for several years between my mom and this man. He brought nothing but pain into our lives and I'm being nice here.

One of the things I always wanted to be was a cop, that guy who was dressed up in a blue shirt and drove a fast car. That's what it looked like to me as a kid anyway. I got into trouble a few times in the early part of my life. We lived in the projects here in Tampa. The projects became our own little town. There were about ten of us kids raised in and around the main office on broad st in the Riverview Terrace Projects. Where a daily activity was jumping of the roof in the park and harassing old man Tar. A nice old man that sat on his porch all made of concrete, playing a 4 string banjo. A lot of didn't make through Viet Nam area, kids I grew up with in this brick and concrete jungle we called home.

Moving up to 1974, I had been married and divorced one already, life in the projects didn't prepare me for what was about to happen. I became a correction officer in the same jail that once housed me a time or to growing up. My first day on the job I was shitting in high cotton as we used to say around here. After a short indoctrination of the rules of the road I was off. My first job was in the bull pen area where all the fights were. I was pretty tough then about six feet tall and around 220 lbs. scraping was a daily process just to live for me growing up,but did not prepare me for a diet of Central Booking within the Tampa Police station in downtown Tampa, Florida.

My first day I was involved in a pretty good fight where I was bitten in the right arm and the dirt bag took a chunk out. Being the new kid on the block I didn't know what to do really but subdue him. We charged him for battery of a police officer. Several weeks of messing around in court and finally the judge told me , next time take care of business and don't send anymore of these cases up to my court room. I took that as a license to kill, so my life began as self punisher of those who didn't behave in booking. In three years I put several people in the hospital. That's not as bad as it sounds we booked sometimes 100 people a shift, after working along in the bull pen on night shift the city cops had a little game they played with us. If you can whip the guard you get to go free.Well as you can just imagine how that worked out. I feel sorry for some of the drunks that came in and did try to put me in my place. We had fights in the holding cell where there could be as many as 20 people in an 8 by 8 foot cell. Tempers were always high around there. The Tampa Police ID section was also in booking, They would fingerprint every one who had been arrested that shift and a team of print readers would analyzes all prints with a loop before you were released.

My second day at work brought me very bad news. My brother had been killed up in Atlanta, Ga. My step dad, you remember him from before,my mother had divorced him and he had remarried again. My little brother Kirby had been shot in the back, running away from Joe my stepdad. Kirby blead to death in the house then Joe had buried him in the basement. It was several days before the wife turned Joe in. This was a real turning point in my life. I was just 24 years old and was ready to quite everything already. This was the last time me and my two older brothers would walk the earth together, but that's another story.

Without telling you everything about myself or my family this started out about a kid having dreams. We never know where our lives will go or who will disrupt it in such a violent way that you feel you may never recover. Don't let this happen to you or your kids, My life id what it is and I live with some of the horrible things that have happened to me and that I've done to others. Our deep hidden secrets need to be understood by ourselves at least. People that don't walk in your shoes don't need to know everything about you only those things that may show up from time to time.

I have spent many years in law enforcement now trying to pay back things that only is know to me. We all have stories like this and I have many more to tell I just don't see the need to. Bad things happen to good people all the time now and with the news such as it is your picture is all the TV and everyone knows your business overnight.

We need to give our children a better start, a little love mixed with a shot of discipline works fine. My story means nothing to my grand kids now they have a chance to make their own history. The cycle starts over again and again but if we allow our government tell us whats best for us we all loose.

Please stand up and be heard this year on health care, but more important be informed about any and all decisions you make and don't let any government official make choices for you.


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