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What is the root cause of Rapes?

Updated on April 9, 2015

Recently I have been hearing and reading a lot about rapes, rape victim and Delhi! Professors rejecting student, lawyers getting sued and the list are on. Everybody is sharing their dreadful experiences. So I also made my mind to jot down my feelings and experience in this region: NCR, which is being synonymous to Northern Capital for Rapes!

It has been four years from now since I first came to this place. I stayed in my hostel at Ghaziabad, an area which is unsafe for women at every hour of the day but as the sunsets in, the crime rates increases significantly. Few months back I was returning back via bus from Dehradun after giving my AFSB, to be more precised after being screened out from the AFSB. Due to some wrong information that the conductor of the bus imparted to me I was compelled to get down at Delhi Meerut road in the midnight. Furious and outrageous, I dashed out of the bus. It was a cold November night. I was standing by the road wondering what to do next. I called one of my friends for help at that late hour.

While waiting, I concealed my anxiety and gave way to an daunting courage. Albeit I don’t know from where I got that. i guess it was the new me. Fortunately I saw a police car and walked briskly towards it. Feeling bit safe and comfortable while standing in there I was waiting all over again. What I see next is that one of the policeman approaches me and advices me to go and sit inside the police chauki ( as they were going somewhere else). Clouds of fear covering my heart I walked towards it. Despair but not completely, I kept standing in front of the door of the small, dark and dingy Police Chauki. Eventually my friends arrived and my waiting came to an end.

Something like this once again happened with me when I was returning back from the office in an auto which I had reserved for a month. He was a pretty jolly and over friendly guy. I ignored him most of the time but once. I still remember the day when he asked to meet his relatives who resided near my college. It was dark December evening. My college road was quiet and deserted. I told him that I will see them the next morning as it is getting late now. He insisted and somehow drove the auto to another side. I guess I am strong and candid but at times I am lenient and this was something I was about to pay big time. He stopped his auto in dark slum. I stepped out; I could see nothing, when I say nothing I mean it. There was no road but I could smell dung and hear the mew of the cows. He asked me to walk further from there, this time I was adamant. He was persistent again but this time I thought nothing and ran from there to a safer spot. I don’t know what would have happened to me if had gone with him! If had waited there a little longer! I never confronted myself with those questions. But I guess now I do know the answers of them all.

Nobody would have tried to understand me. There might have been few candle marches, my parents would have definitely been miserable and media would have got their latest story. People would be questioning my character. Some would have come to give me sympathy but who knows I would have lived that longer! If I wouldn’t have run then my story would have definitely been different now.

My adventurous experience doesn’t ends up there. When you start working, festivals are the only time when you visit your hometown. Recently, I was coming back from Kanpur, bus dropped at Akshardham metro station by 4. It was my first time that I was coming back by bus from Kanpur. So I was having no idea about the conveyance at that point of hour. Moreover, waiting for metro was something that was not on my list as I wanted to attend my office while taking a short nap before that (I was up for the whole night and all credit goes to the discomforting bus!!). Anyway the thing was I chose to sleep , in order to do so I crossed the road and waited for an auto. I found many autos but none agreed to got Noida (I shifted from Ghaziabad to Noida).

A girl caught my attention. Loaded with luggage, she asked me “will you come with me to the other side of the road? We can get conveyance easily from there”. I told her that I was looking for an auto for noida. She assured me that I will get one. With the entire luggage we were walking by the empty pavements towards the bus stand of Samaspur. The roads were deserted. You could hardly see few buses at that hour. I had a little conversation with her all I got to know was that she was living in Mayur Vihar. Matter of fact as soon as we reached our desired destination, she got an auto and the next moment what I see is that she is gone.

Now all alone without any clue about the area I was standing on the deserted bus stop all by myself. I was calling the online cabs but in spite of the inscriptions on their website in big bold letter of being available 24*7 there was none at all! After standing there for few minutes I made my mind to return back to the Akshardham metro station. At least there were few people unlike this place. I grabbed my luggage and then headed back towards the metro station. After standing there for few minutes again by 5 or so I got an auto that dropped me at my pg.

This whole time I was doing a silent prayer. I never saw God but I can say that the autorikshaw driver I got was no less than a God to me. I did know neither the roads nor the routes. All I was doing was a prayer with my hearts crossed and fist clenched. May be I am lucky that god saved me every single time. Or else today some stupid lawyer would have been saying some deep shit about me too.

I thank god for being so magnanimous and more than god I thank people who have helped me in some way or the other, who have been my hero, my God and my savior! I neither hate autorikshaws nor did I stop using them from the previous incident that I faced. It would have been my sheer stupidity if I have had done that. Moreover, whole community shouldn’t be blamed for the mistake that one has done. It isn’t Delhi, Noida or Ghaziabad. It isn’t my country too. It is someone among us and most importantly it is our mentality. It is our thinking that girls are wrong. They are meant to be wrong. I ask why? Why can’t I feel safe when I am on the streets? When I am all lost in a new city, why I fear and cry silently standing by the road? Why I am afraid of fact that i am a girl? Why every time when I get back from office I literally sprint instead of walking down the lane? Why I am afraid irrespective of deserted street or crowded road? I know nobody can answer these questions. Then answer just one question. Who is responsible for all this? Is it the place, the people or their mentality?


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