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Tragic Truths

Updated on May 5, 2017

Where is your mind set?

A person mindset or mentality says a lot about who they are as a person. Wearing makeup is often viewed as self-absorbed instead of a confidence booster. Aggressive people are identified to be violent, most are fun in nature by danger their temper can get the best of them. The mindset of an individual says a lot about how they view life and experiences. It takes work to discipline the way feelings originate and not all are able to do so leaving us often with abusers. It may be fair to say that all of us at one point in our life experience abusive behavior. However, knowing a person and seeing the way their behavior changes may tell state if they are experiencing abuse. Abuse is easy to cover up unless the damage is severe. It is easier to say do not accept abuse, harder to escape from it at times. There are eight forms of abuse, some of these abusive behaviors coincide with one another. Abuse is not labeled by color or age; anyone can be an abuser at any time on any day. The top abuses are physical, sexual, technology, and verbal.

Unseen Abuse

Emotional and mental abuse goes hand in hand. It is hard to say a person can be abused mentally without it affecting them emotionally. Talking down to someone by questioning their sanity or twisting their words in a meaning it was not attended are all forms of mental abuse. Emotional abuse is tied to the way a person feels. Being called a cry baby or statements constantly stating your mean is a passive-aggressive way to belittle a person. As individuals, our brain process words and actions differently. Talk about a person weight, may make them depress and self-concussion about everything they do or it may not cause any damage. Verbal abuse can change the way a person acts and thinks. Be careful in how words are spoken to one another to be hateful and hurtful of one another is the most negative attribute to have, with it being reinforced if a person does not want what you have than you're not doing something right … well, you see where I am going with this. Developing tough skin can help you deal with any type of abuse especially verbal.

Abusing technology happens frequently. Internet trolls enjoy leaving negative comments on others picture, claiming not to understand what they did was wrong or going as far as saying the other person deserves the comment. A great poet once said ‘…people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.' Therefore, that lovely statement ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' Is just untrue. To break this down, words can change a person day it can bring a frown or smile to a person's face. The words that are spoken may not mean much to one person, but it can make another feel a way that is unfair. Truth is, it is hard to catch someone and convict them for bullying over the internet. It is not impossible. Electronic bullying has been perceived to parents as a protecting method. Are the parents protecting their child? Constantly, checking their social media pages, demonstrating they have absolutely no trust. Is it to protect the kids or is it overstepping boundaries? What makes technology fit in the category of abuse is the frequent checks of another phone and other gadgets. What makes checking another person electronics such as text messages, call logs, websites visited a form of abuse. Is it invading privacy often creating laboring drama. Yes, a concerned individual can express their concern, however, constantly checking and invading privacy is never okay. Cyberbullying is the most common form of technology abuse. As understood on VH1, Matt and Nev helps bring a stop to technology abuse. Their show Catfish is generally helping others connect with someone they have been talking to online for months and years. In some cases, they have encountered people who lied about who they are; what they have been through making them the catfisher. Technology abuse is not just telling someone they are ugly and degrading a person online, it deals with lying about your identification, monitoring emails, constantly checking another person text messages and phone logs, and harassing someone through websites and emails. There are many laws in place with abusing technology. Getting justice can be difficult because of cyberspace which is why if you have encountered this problem. The first thing to do is tell someone who can help you get justice, keep the what is being whispered on file by printing the content that was delivered that will help your case against your harasser.

Sighting Abuse

There is no real reason to say why people are abused sexually. If asking a rapist, he/she might say the victim was asking for it by the way she/he was acting. Regardless, until you know personally know someone does take what they say lightly. Every ‘No' is firm reinforcing the unwanted actions. Screaming and shouting to the top of your lungs until they understand you do not want them in that way. In my opinion, there is a sense that many people get before something such as being rape occurs. If at any point you feel this way make your way out the room and away from the person to a safe area. Sexual abuse is the number one cause of abuse leading to a person suicide. Dealing with physical and emotional abuse is a tough situation to go through. Not reporting sexual abuse situation makes it hard to know who to keep a safe distance. Many victims are victims understand that speaking up will spring justice resulting in what is needed to move on, but afraid either because they remained threatened or just believing that no one will believe them. There are cases where a person lied about being violated sexual, however, there are usually key signs in knowing if a person was violated. The best thing to do if you or someone you know is going through this is to seek out help and understand that what happened is not your fault. Many times, the abuser wants their victim to believe they caused this horrible act against themselves, truth is everyone oversees what they do to one another. In choosing to violate someone it is never their fault, as the violator is will always be at fault, it is their actions.

Physical abuse occurs in all ages. When a person strikes someone weaker than them with an instrument or hand excessively leaving a physical alternating appearance. The constant hitting someone because of your anger is demonstrating physical abuse. Parents have struggled with being labeled as an abuser for the way they choice to discipline their children. Taking a belt or a foreign object and beating a child in hopes that they understand that their actions are intolerable. Agreeing with this method of discipline is your choice. Keep in mind that all children are the future and the way they are treated might lead to them mistreating others. There are other forms of discipline, their effectiveness is up to the person disciplining. Any alternate other than picking up a belt needs to be considered when having kids.

Pinpointing what causes a person to act in such a negative demeanor is not always simple. As difficult as it is to get over any type of abuse it is not impossible. Failing to realize the action being displayed to another is one thing understanding your actions and the consequences associated with them is another. No will always mean no and stop will always mean stop. Having power does not mean ignoring those around you and placing blame on something you do not understand. Having power understands that everyone has the right to be themselves and express themselves freely. Knowing the difference between right and wrong, knowing when someone is out of line and doing something about it is courage. No form of abuse should ever be tolerated and as the victim, your job is to speak up and get justice. Do your part in knowing that what is being done is unjustified and seeking help even if that mean a different life for you. Call a help line, seek out the police, or take to a counselor for help. Most importantly know who you are talking to and trust them to help you.


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      18 months ago

      I think now we need to have laws introduced and/or refined to included emotional and mental cruelty. As you said, the damage is internal, not external-at least, not in the begining. But the effects of this form of domestic violence will start to show its damage when the person starts to interact with others or when they are in a intimate relationship.


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