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Treat Others As You Would Have Them Treat You

Updated on March 4, 2011

We all want people to treat us with respect. But are we doing the same? Is it one-sided? It can be a challenge especially when we feel that we have earned a certain status. Sometimes we feel that way because we have worked so hard and for so long to get to where we are. And, what about the friends that helped us along the way? Have we alienated them with our new status? Have we forgotten from where we came? Many of us have been on both sides of this issue. It can be frustrating whether the one being treated differently or the one being accused of it.

Either way, it is good to remember the golden rule. It does not mean we will be perfect about it. But it can provide guidance in this fast paced society in which we all live. A friend of mine once told me that he accepted a promotion that made him a supervisor over his colleagues. In doing so, he promised his co-workers that he would always be their friend and always be there for them. He said that he honestly meant it but things started to go sour when he had to discipline one of his good friends.

We must remember to be fair and just.  How will we know if we are treating others fairly?  One way is by getting someone to watch as you handle a situation with someone else.  But that is not always practical.  Rehersing or going over what needs to be addressed with someone before-hand can be enlightening.  And then, there is the mirror technique.  The mirror does not lie.  By practicing in the mirror one can overcome much more than just how an attitude is coming off on someone else. 

Most of us can handle many situations as long as there is a space in between.  When we are bombarded by problems we may take it out on the wrong person.  If we notice ourself doing so, it should quickly be resolved.  Afterall, what if we were the person wrongly subjected?  We must not let our pride get in the way of an apology.  Apology can be seen as a sign of strength.  Perhaps we have all experienced supervisors with apologetic hearts as well as prideful ones.  Which one was better?

Sometimes we may feel justified in going off on someone. But did we use the correct amount of medicine for the cure? It only takes a little poison to fatally hurt someone. Yes, there are times, plenty of times when discipline should be used, and even swiftly. In that case, we should speak softly and carry a big stick. Ask these two questions, "Was it done for cause?" "Was it done in good faith?" Sometimes we do the right thing but too much of it. Sometimes there was no just cause for the way we disciplined. If we remember to treat others the same way we would like to be treated many of our problems would be solved.

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    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello Pamela99,

      Thank you so much for reading my Hub and congratulating me for my nomination! I appreciate your comments.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello cardelean,

      I thank you for reading and commenting on my Hub. Your kind comments are appreciated. We do have to lead by example.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hey jpcmc,

      Thank you for reading and commenting. Your words are so true.

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 6 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      It's so easy to destroy relationships with lack of respect. I've seen it in the corporate world, in families, in schools and in almost any community. A little humility and understanding goes a long way.

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Thank you Mike! Your comments are always appreciated. I really feel we have so much we can offer one another. It's just that sometimes we take things for granted. Once in a while it is good to step back and look at things from the perspective of others. Thank you for reading!

    • profile image

      mikeq107 6 years ago

      Hey capn!!! :0)

      I think Terry Jones should read this hub, he might get back to the grass roots of his belief in God LOL

      Great Hub Mate!!!!

      Mike :0)

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello MysteryPlanet,

      I appreciate your reading of my Hub and comment. If we can just all agree to respect one another, wouldn't it be great! Thank you

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Yes, indeed 50,

      It is so much better to lead by example. They once threatened to take my white helmut away. I replied, I don't need it where I go anyway. Thank you for reading. Your comment is appreciated.

    • MysteryPlanet profile image

      MysteryPlanet 6 years ago

      Yes, respect must be earned. If every person on Earth truly believed that I think it would go a long way in making the world a better place for all of us.

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      Capncrunch, good cereal! Your last comment reminded me, in the Marines in peace time, the squadron Captain would say to me "get those guys up and sweep the hanger floor and pick up cigarette butts", I'd say boys we got a job from the Captain, tell them what it was and then grab a broom and help. The Captain in the beginning used to call me in and tell me Gunny I didn't mean you! I would reply "understood sir" then go back to helping. It never mattered what I asked most gave me 100 percent for being with them. Respct makes life so much easier., thanks 50

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hey Beata Stasak,

      One thing I have tried to always do is be humble when others try to use 'status' of power. If one is in a leadership role it does not mean you must be mean or disrespectful. We should all be slow to anger. Thank you for your comment.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Thank you 50 Caliber. Your comment is appreciated. And yes, why preach it if you don't do it. I believe everyone should be treated with respect.

    • Beata Stasak profile image

      Beata Stasak 6 years ago from Western Australia

      Thanks for sharing, we need more article just like yours, maybe it helps us to be more civil towards each other...but people are just people and the golden rule for the most of them are: 'I WILL MAKE YOU TO TREAT ME WITH RESPECT because I AM IMPORTANT NOT YOU':)

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      Great article, having heard it from a person preaching the golden rule only to see him in anger belittling, some one like the grown up in your photo blasting a child, depending what is said It may last a life time. voted up, thank you 50

    • profile image

      Hipprintz 6 years ago

      Great article.

      Thank you.

    • sophie_allen profile image

      sophie_allen 6 years ago from Washington D.C. USA 20002

      Thanks for sharing this hub. I would definitely keep this one in mind: When we are bombarded by problems we may take it out on the wrong person - that it should quickly be resolved. Great hub!

    • cardelean profile image

      cardelean 6 years ago from Michigan

      Very true thoughts. This is something that I continually try to teach my students. It is a hard lesson for some to learn. Nice job.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      Your hub certainly does cause one to reflect on their behavior. I think it an excellent hub at a time when we see so many people not being treated well, bullying in schools,etc. Congrats on your nomination.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello lobonorth,

      When I wrote this Hub I wasn't really aiming at the Golden Rule, although as you said how can someone argue against it. I know that I admire those who try to live by it. Thank you for the comment.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Thank you Cindy2011, for reading. Yes, we all need to practice caring for one another. It really isn't all that hard to do. I believe it takes more effort to do the opposite. Your comment is appreciated.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello ripplemaker,

      I really appreciate you reading and commenting on my Hub. If we all would focus on Love, things would be grand. It is very nice to receive feedback from a great writer like you! Thank you for the Congratulations also.

    • lobonorth profile image

      lobonorth 6 years ago

      It's difficult to find someone who would argue against the golden rule since it is clearly both just and wise. But it is interesting that our human behavior often contradicts what we say, since so few of us behave in the admirable way that's suggested by your article and our general agreement with the rule. We admire people who actually follow these principles because, sadly, they are not as numerous as we would like.

      The golden rule is one that I know I should try and follow - thank you for your reminder and help.

    • Cindy2011 profile image

      Cindy2011 6 years ago from Canada's West Coast

      Ah, the world would be a better place if we all could remember this simple rule. Your hub is nicely written.

      I agree, we just need to keep putting this into practice and hope it rubs off on those who don't.

      Keep on giving.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Your hub made me reflect also that as we treat others that is how we actually view/treat ourselves too. I too have discovered that the more we love ourselves, the more love we can give to others. And the more we treat others better then that is how they would treat us too. Everything is a reflection. Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination. Wonderful hub!

      The Hubnuggets Links:

      Where to read and cast your vote: http://bit.ly/dPaDD7

      Participate in the Hubnuggets forum: http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/71285#post1552387

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Well marcoujor,

      I also like checking other writer's works. The power of the pen. We all have so much we can share with one another. Thank you!

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hello ladyjane1,

      I thank you for reading. It feels that way to me also. So many want respect but won't give it. And what can we say about children when it is all done? I appreciate your comment.

    • capncrunch profile image
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      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hey dearabbysmom, I read that Hub also about the Golden rule and the little things are something dear to me. Thank you for reading and the kind comment.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 6 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I love checking out the writing of folks based on their names & I love this cereal... anyway, I will so much take an apologetic heart over a prideful one (in any level of person in my world...) A book on this subject from you would be AWESOME (as this was voted and UP)~~ thank you!

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

      Great job and great hub, it feels like we are losing respect for one another, especially what children are learning from adults. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.

    • dearabbysmom profile image

      dearabbysmom 6 years ago from Indiana

      I read a hub recently that talked about the fact that every major religion in the world has a version of the golden rule. Makes sense if we would all just follow it! Good job of making us focus on that.

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Hey tqopfrich,

      Thank you for reading and the compliment. We all have so much we can share with one another. This particular hub is a result of many years. I could probably, and may write a book on it.

      Thanks again

    • tgopfrich profile image

      tgopfrich 6 years ago from Stettler, AB

      I am definitely going to take "Sometimes we do the right thing but too much of it" to heart. I defintely need to remember that one, as well as probably practice conversing in the mirror. I hate having fights and feeling extremely bad after, then having to work up the courage to say sorry. I also wrote a hub called I'm Sorry a couple weeks ago that is similar, yours I must say is much more well spoken. I loved your hub, I'm going to take a lot to heart from it thats for sure.

    • capncrunch profile image
      Author

      capncrunch 6 years ago from New Orleans

      Thank you for your kind comment.

    • Dee aka Nonna profile image

      Dee aka Nonna 6 years ago

      I love the scripture that talks about "the power of life and death is in the tongue". There are many times that I want to "go off on someone" but rememebering that statement and remembering how I would feel if someone did that to me will stop me in my tracks. Sometimes returning a smile to something that has the potential for insult will defuse the situation very quickly. I love your hub. A great reminder of how we should act toward one another.