How do I over come Social phobias, and find decent people to be friends with?
You have to go beyond your comfort zones sometimes. Try meeting people at work or school. Observe people, notice things about them. When your in a room with people look around for conversation starters. Once in a while if an article of clothing someone is wearing catches your eye, compliment it, ask them where they got it. These are just off the top of my head, I'm sure one can come up with infinite ways to make friends.
FACE YOUR FEARS. Period. Do it baby step by baby step. Do a little each day. Even if other people might not think you've accomplished much, do a little each day and You'll know you're making progress.
You can't get good at something until you mess up a lot. We're all here together though, and we've all been in awkward moments. Laugh at it and move on.
Make yourself do things you don't want to do. You can do it. The more you face things and accomplish things you didn't think you could do, you'll gain confidence and people will notice you. Good luck!
This probably sounds cliche, but you should always be yourself! You are most comfortable and enjoyable to be around when you are being the wonderful person you are. Only then will you find your true friends. Best of Luck. NotPC.
Push your limits and face your fears. You needn't be an extrovert but sometimes you do need to get out there a little more than norm. Icebreakers and a huge smile (not a creepily huge smile)
Confront the things you dread. Face them down, and they'll flee before you. It takes courage to do it, but that's a quality in every one of us. Bring yours to the fore and exercise it to strengthen it.
As for getting into a better circle of friends, it depends mostly on where you're looking for them. If you hang out in low bars, you'll meet the people who make them what they are. I'd suggest joining a church if you want to be with a better class of folk.
Do you have hobbies you are really good at? Find social events, clubs, shows, or any gatherings where you can show off and share your passion for your hobby. I'll just name one example but there are infinite. If you like remote controlled flying model planes, you can find events where RC plane hobbyist can hang out and fly their planes together.
If you are not into hobbies, you must have at least one interest that you enjoy. Meet other people that share your interest. Suppose you like civil war history? You can visit civil war sites or be part of re-enactments.
You get the idea. When you are into something you like - you will also be liked.
I think it's easy to say "face your fears," but first you must determine why you are afraid. I think many times people are afraid of rejection, so they isolate themselves to avoid it. Accept yourself, as you are right now, for the unique and special individual you are! The world is full of all different types of people, and it's unrealistic to force yourself into any particular mold. You are who you are - and that's that. Next, realize that if you are comfortable with yourself, quirks and all, others will be comfortable with and accepting of you - and if not - that's okay. You can't please everybody all the time, and everybody is entitled to his/her opinion. Lastly, think about what interests you - what you are passionate about - and seek the company of people who love those same things.
One of the biggest obstacles that face people with social phobias is separating fears from personality traits. Being introverted is not the same as being socially afraid. Work on breaking out of your shell, but also embrace your personal need for alone time. Find comfort zones of conversation and social interaction, and begin there. As far as trusting people, give them small opportunities to prove themselves to be trustworthy, then as they demonstrate good intentions, give them larger opportunities. True friends will prove themselves out.
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