How to deal with a spoiled brat who has come to your house for dinner with his p

1. 65

   Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years ago

   How to deal with a spoiled brat who has come to your house for dinner with his parents?
   
   You have invited a family of 3 for dinner. While the parents are educated and well behaved, their 8 years old son is a devil. The parents are doing nothing to stop him and he is wreaking a havoc.

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   Bubblegum Jonesposted 10 years ago

   Never invite any of them back ever again. Remember this is your house!

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3. 48

   Ericdierkerposted 10 years ago

   A full frank discussion is required and I prefer holding the child tightly and letting him know that that behavior is unacceptable in my house. Telling the parents point blank within hearing of the child that if they to not discipline him that I will.
   Be a friend -- chances are you will hear "we just do not know what to do with _____" So show them. Personally I have been invited back to houses because I disciplined their children there and they appreciate it.
   
   (I really am just a big teddy bear and children like to act right for me)

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      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with your way of doing it.  This is an opportunity for all to learn respect for others and their things.

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   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   SK......Uh-Oh.....Looks like a sensitive situation.  8 years old is much too old to be acting up in any situation, but especially when out socially with one's parents.  (I mention this Sundeep, because often a child may act the BRAT with his/her parents, but they are well aware this behavior is unacceptable in public)  Know what I mean?  Kids tend to PUSH the limit with parents.....even though they know better than to behave this way in school or with other adults.
   In this case, quite frankly, I would be appalled by the lack of action from the parents.  Their little "Angel" obviously has been left to raise and discipline himself.....a perfectly ludicrous situation.  His "educated" parents must be either much too permissive or just LAZY.
   In any event....Hard as it may be to say NOTHING.....it's not your responsibility to "speak" to this child.  I would however gently express your concern to his parents that you would prefer their son BEHAVE himself in your home as you don't want to see him get hurt.
   If the parents do not take this seriously......do not have them as guests again, unless they wish to attend without the Holy Terror...OR....he is safely tucked away at COLLEGE!! ...should he get that far in life!

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5. 65

   Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years ago

   Thanks Bubblegum Jones; Ericdierker ; Lady Guinevere; fand pherj48
   
   I think the unequivocal response here seems to be that the host should call a spade a spade and in no uncertain terms declare that the behavior of the child is unacceptable in his house. Well I too  agree but let me add some constraints here. In the East, perhaps it is too impolite on the part of the host to be so direct.
   
   Secondly, such parents now follow the 'modern' approach that the child's freedom should not be curbed. Which means 'they' are modern and if the guest objects then he is 'old fashioned orthodox'. In fact, they celebrate that their child is not "shy".
   
   Is there a diplomatic or smart way to handle the situation on the spot.?

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      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      No need to complicate things. I appreciate your dilemma in the East. But IMHO, a spade is a SPADE, in the North South West & East.  THEY are rude not YOU! God forbid we hinder this kid's "freedom" to be a BRAT. "Old-fashioned" IS the smart way!

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      Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes you have a point there.

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      Lady Guinevereposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      So in the end what are you teaching the child...that he can do anything that he wants to and he thinks that it is OK to disrespect everyone else. What is that child going to become as an adult... Oh the terrors I see.

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   Grey Templesposted 10 years ago

   I would kindly turn to the parents and ask them if they would please calm their son down so that you could enjoy the evening together.  If the parents of the child get upset with you you gently remind them that it is your home and not even your children acted in such a manner under your roof.  If they don't like it they can get up and leave. 
   
   Sometimes it is better to say something instead of nothing.  Parents these days do not believe in discipline.  Or you could stop the child, sit him down in a chair and tell him to sit quietly while you visit with his parents as children should be seen and not heard.  I'm sure that will go over nicely. 
   
   I would not be rude about it but someone needs to talk to the child.  Or even better.  Get up and start acting like the child is and see the reaction of the parents.  I have done that and it set the parents straight as well as the child.  The child sat down, I gave him some toys to play with and he remained quiet and we had a nice evening.   I think I scared everyone.

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      Sundeep Katariaposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very interesting indeed! Your third para is worth reading again.

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      Grey Templesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It worked and they even came back again and the child was just fine and actually had manners.  I think I shocked the devil out of them all

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   Penny Gposted 10 years ago

   Sometimes you just deal with it and don't invite them back.

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