Making Your Relationship Work

The art of making a relationship work is a topic which is covered by many persons and specialists through various medium. Advertisements, specialised books, articles are just a few. The impression given is that there it is a big mystery and there are some highly concealed secret or potion which we need to make our relationships work. This is not so. The secret does not lie in whispered words or sexy lingerie. They are just components, and even then only excite in some relationships. The simple tool to making relationships work is an open communication between both partners.

Let’s put this into perspective. When something goes wrong in a relationship our initial instinct is to clear things up. Talk it over and get to the bottom of the problem. Sweet whispers and sexy lingerie go to waste if the problem is not resolved. Using these methods to rectify a problem is like turning a trick. Tricks do not make relationships work. The fact is that if the line of communication is defective then the relationship will die a slow but sure death. Partners need to be open about how they feel, their interest, their likes and dislikes. Talk to each other constantly and openly. Keep it real.

There has to be a certain level of compatibility and common interest between two people for them to form a relationship. When the interest goes out the window then the relationship will follow soon after. The fact is that as we grow we change. A relationship has to be strong enough to accommodate these changes. If this does not happen then we will have the two people growing apart. Sadly, sometimes the two people grow completely apart. In this case, only a very strong love and a lot of effort from both partners can keep the relationship going.

It is important for us to realise from early that it is likely that we and our partners can grow apart. Flogging a dead relationship to life can be quite a task. Accommodate this fact by being actively involved in each other’s lives. Keep it alive by doing special things for and to each other. This is where the sexy lingerie, sweet whispers and the gift buying comes in handy.

Shower your partner with a lot of attention. Even where both partners are busy, ensure you make time to be with each other. Trying to plan a special big vacation together can sometimes take forever to become reality. Try instead to spend a couple of intense fun filled hours together a few days for the week. Sometimes the kids have to be shipped off to a sitter or responsible relative to make way for the couples “me time”.

The more you spend time in each other’s company the more you will need to communicate. In doing so, please be mindful that you do not smother your partner. Everyone needs their space and own 'me time' and must be allowed same. Knowing your partner and their personal traits and respecting them is key. Relationships work best when partners respect each other's individuality.

It is not one partner’s responsibility than it is the other’s to ensure that this works. You are a team. Work together, for each other. Show interests in each other’s work and social life. We have our own preference of friends. There are family friends, and then there are personal friends.

Do not take it for granted that it is ok to just make decisions without consulting your partner. We know our partner and know what matters to them and what we need to consult them about. Sometimes, and to some people, cutting and colouring the hair matters and is a big deal. Sometimes it's not. The same is true about making decisions such as accepting promotions at work. depending on where the relationship is at or family situations, it can be disruptive or it can be a welcomed move. Be open, be honest and do not take each other for granted and you will find you have the answer to making your relationship work.