10 Ways that Love Changes Your Life
1. It breaks your ego wide open
We are always trying to put our best foot forward. Growing up we consume a steady diet of movies that have messages detailing to us exactly what romance should look like. We see the witty pick-up lines, dinner dates, classy outfits and we imagine that this is what real love looks like. The truth is that if your relationship is to progress beyond its infant stages you will have to get real about life fast. Guess what? Real life involves the messiness of humanity, financial problems, embarrassment, bodily functions and a number of things in between. If you are going to be a part of a real authentic relationship you will have to learn that even though you might want to always put your best foot forward, you will have to get real about sharing exactly who you are.
2. It allows you to be vulnerable in a way that you haven’t experienced before
Get this: Anything and anybody has the power to hurt you. By virtue of the fact that we are alive, we can argue that from the minute we arrive and emerge into this world we are one huge, wide open gaping wound, with the potential for people to hurt us. Formulas, exact science and final answers are something that we all deal with in a business setting but the truth of the matter is that we cannot be as transactional in our human relationships. Tricking each other, strategizing, going in with an agenda all works when it comes to a business merger and acquisition but when it comes to relationships- how does that truly serve you?
3. It brings up all the ‘stuff’ that you thought you had under control
That issue that you had with giving? That ex-boyfriend you were convinced that you forgave for a transgression way back when in the 1980’s? The grudge you’ve been holding with the frenemy who let you down when you let down your guard. All of that stuff is going to come up right now. You can’t get that close to another human being without coming up against some kind of emotional friction. Get used to the idea.
4. Love teaches you about sharing
When it comes to our normal interactions with people, whether in the workplace or simply even taking a walk around the mall, we make decisions that are good for ourselves. From basic ones like what we are going to eat at lunch to where we are going to take vacations and many other decisions in between we take many selfish decisions in a day.
5. It helps you learn how to give and receive
When you’re not looking to be in a relationship you have time to be a bit more calculating and think harder. There comes a time when you simply have to let down your guard a little bit and have a bit more compassion.
6. Brings up your biggest fears and your wildest dreams
Nothing brings you flying into the face of your biggest fears or your wildest dreams quite like when you fall in love. There are moments when we all second guess ourselves, especially when we get into a relationship for the very first time. Suddenly the chocolate box of possibility opens up and we are faced with the potential of getting exactly what we want in a relationship. Naturally this can bring out either the beast in us or the gentle receptive side that receives love and care without batting an eyelid.
7. It teaches you how to articulate
When it comes to building real, authentic and lasting power in relationships, nothing creates it as much being 100% articulate about what it is that you want out of life and relationships. You need to be courageous and vocal about what you require from a partner. If you are unable to do so, it is a relationship that is built perilously on rocks.
8. Love shows you how to merge with another and still be separate
Before a relationship there was ‘you’, after a relationship, there will still be a ‘you’. Consider that during a relationship or whilst falling in love there should still very much be a sense of self that exists. Finding a loving and stable partner is an amazing thing. We all look forward to this momentous time in our lives, but we should consider one very important point. No one individual out there in the world is the be-all and end-all, let alone cure-all for our state of existence. If there were problems in your life before you fell in love, those problems do not vanish overnight. By all means build a beautiful relationship, but never fall to neglecting yourself.
9. You will learn the meaning of courage
Being in a healthy and loving relationship calls for bucket loads of courage. We all hold in our minds the idea of how things ought to be – insert mental image of suitable romantic movie here. But the reality is that real life is anything but. There will be moments to deal with that requires you to act in more human capacity rather than the date scenarios that we are all used to. Illnesses, emergencies, traumas, tragedies, highs and lows, comedic situations and everything in between. Get used to it.
10. If you’re lucky you will learn how to be selfless
There comes a moment where all masks are off and you will be pushed to act in capacity to give. Whether it is your time, your energy, your effort, your overtures of friendliness to relevant people in your significant other’s life or giving all of the above to them- you will have to act. Sometimes that requires that you put somebody’s happiness ahead of your own.
Wishing you all the best on your path to love.