8 Things I'd Wish I'd Known About Men 10 Years Ago
Understanding Men is a No-No
You know, just when you think you know a guy, you don't. I've given up trying to figure men out a long time ago. Although there was a time when I thought I was close to figuring it out. I was was wrong. The way they think is obviously different. For me to try to understand why a man thinks a certain way, says certain things, and act the way he does is something I know would never make sense in my mind.
Most Are Clueless
You would think that once a man gets to know us, he has some understanding of what we like and how we want to be treated. Wrong. Women can't assume that a guy knows how to treat a woman or even how to be romantic. Most of them don't. In this case, they must be guided and reminded.
They're Hunters, We're Nesters
Men love to hunt. It seems as though even when they got everything they could desire, they're still out there hunting like something's missing. It's kind of like they're afraid something important slipped by them without notice and now they must search and search until it's found. Every time I thought I was in a relationship where the man was happy, I was wrong. Now I use every form of communication to my advantage just so I can be aware of bomb ticking in hindsight just waiting to go off somewhere.
Sex Anytime Please
If I'm pissed, why would a man think he's scoring any that night. It's clearly seen I'm no where near the mood. But for men, emotions are oblivious when it comes to love-making. It's always funny how one minute a couple can be at each others throats and the next, the guy is all over her. Maybe it has something to do with the aggressiveness of some women. It turns them on.
Nope. He Ain't Budging.
How many times have we as women thought that our actions could somehow change a man? Maybe we've dressed differently, acted more nicely, catered a little more, showed more acts of kindness, or even have performed some things outside of our level of comfort just to please the man we love. Thinking that once this is done, he might love us enough to change. Or care enough about the relationship to do something that would please us. I've learned that while my actions can greatly influence the one I'm with, it does not mean it'll change him. Change can only come if he truly wants it for himself. He has to see the benefits of changing and not feel like he'd just be doing it because someone wants him to.
What Do You Want?
Many times, guys have no idea what they want. For the most part, they just wing it and see how far they get. They say what's nice and sweet hoping it doesn't end in rejection and when it doesn't they enjoy the ride to see how far it gets. A guy can date a girl for a long time before he deems himself emotionally serious for a commitment. Sometimes, his flirting is just to boost his ego. Think of the movie where the guy is in the mirror chanting "Yep I still got it." Then that's him. So when you're confronted, treat all men as gamesters unless they say or do something that changes the normal routine.
You Like Her?
Who knows what they see in some girls. I've seen great guys with chicks that are unattractive and treat them like toilet paper under their shoes. Yet, they work and slave to keep those girls happy. God only knows why. These are the ones that know what they have at home isn't the picture of true love but they don't care. They care completely content living a relationship with someone that chooses not to love them unconditionally cause he knows he's got enough love for the both of them.
I See What I Want.
There are many times we as women get warning signs that things aren't working out as we planned. How many times do we ignore them? We want to be hopeful and we want things to work out like they do in our imgination so we go with the flow believing that someday our dreams will come to fruition. Then when things come to a screeching halt, we're surprised. It's only when we've had time to sit back go over all those things that didn't fit right, we realize that it was there all along. If we'd only pay attention to them before, things could have turned out differently.
We learn, grow, and experience life. Our experiences make us who we are. Knowing what I know will make me that much wiser in my next relationship and I look foward to seeing things in a different persepctive and re-learning the species of man.