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14 Mistakes of Women that can ruin a Happily Ever After Relationship - Tips for Successful relationships

Updated on May 5, 2013
Anamika S profile image

Anamika S Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

Are you ruining your relationship?

Many times we women do mistakes which results in ruining our own relationships. I have done that too! I spoiled my relationship which my close friends thought as a ‘happily ever after’ one because I was not in love with the man who was dating me. Despite of his best efforts to keep me happy and committed in the relationship, I was unhappy and wanted to break off without hurting him. We are still friends and he is now married to one of the sweetest woman I have ever known. I don’t regret what I did and I am very happy for him because by dragging our relationship we would not have got anywhere. He is a good friend and he will always be close to my heart. But I needed much more than friendship to say, ‘I do’.

This may not be your case if you are here to analyze the reasons why your relationship did not work out. Many times the mistakes which are made unconsciously also can put an end to a love relationship. Do you have a history of failed relationships? Have you thought that you were picking losers? Have you wondered what wrong turn did you take in your happily ever after relationship which spoiled your happiness? Have you wondered if anything is wrong with yourself? Given below are some common mistakes women make that can ruin a relationship.

Mistakes women commit that can ruin a love relationship
Mistakes women commit that can ruin a love relationship

14 Ways to spoil a Good Relationship

Given below are a list of 14 ways a woman may destroy a relationship. If you find that you are consciously or unconsciously committing these mistakes, it’s time you change before it is too late to save your relationship by making amends.

1) Being Abusive: Men do not like being treated like dirt. If you value your relationship, you need to stop

  • passing sarcastic remarks
  • withholding affection as punishment
  • using negative comments
  • picking fights for silly reasons
  • threatening to leave in case he does not fulfill your demands
  • getting into physical or verbal abuse

2) Trying to Change him: When a friend of mine rejected an arranged marriage proposal because the guy was a Casanova, her father told her that she can change him once married. It is not only the Parents who think that way, women in relationships also tend to think that they can mould the guy the way they want after getting into the relationship. Many women lose their men because of their efforts to change their habits, taste of clothes etc the way they desire. Most men dislike being told that they need to change. Some interfering women may even go to the extent of threatening to dump them if their men do not change.

3) Being Bossy or Clingy: These traits can be equally destructive for a healthy relationship. While some women make the mistake of clinging to their men and not giving them space, others get into a dominating mode. Just remember that a Guy has his own identity and life too!

4) Being Defensive and criticizing: People can get into the defensive mode when challenged or criticized by their partner. It is noted that many women try to justify their behavior or mistakes even when they are wrong instead of admitting that they made a mistake. Also constantly complaining or criticizing the flaws in your Guy can damage your relationship. When such things occur regularly, it could result in unhappiness among couples. If you want to have happy and healthy relationship, be ready to accept the mistakes and take efforts to make amends.

5) Talks about him: It is noticed that some women have the habit of sharing things about their partners with friends and family. Many women find it quite cool in talking about the graphic details of their intimacies with friends apart from sharing the problems in relationship. Men are extremely sensitive and can get hurt by such behavior from their women. Keep whatever is between you and your man between yourselves and do not discuss with all and sundry. If there is a fight, try to resolve it without involving a third person.

6) Talking about Ex Boyfriend: Bragging about Ex is a common mistake many women commit. Many women are seen comparing their current boyfriends or husbands with their ex’s. This is an indication that you are still carrying the previous relationship baggage. Men hate it when a loved one talks highly about any other man and may take it literally even if your intention was just to create jealousy.

7) Being Unfaithful: Infidelity is a major reason for relationship break ups. Do not cheat on your partner or do things which could brand you as unfaithful. Gaining the trust of your Partner after betrayal could be a difficult task.

8) Talks about Money: Are you proud that you earn more than your guy? Men like to take the lead. While it may be okay to discuss about managing the finances of home with your man, it may offend him if you keep on bragging about your pay packet. It can cause an ego hurt for a Guy and he may end up having an inferiority complex especially if you are earning more than him.

9) Being what you are not: Some women have the habit of projecting themselves differently than what they are to impress their men. If you want a healthy relationship, let your man like you for what you are and not for what you are not.

10) Being Selfish:Do you always try to get things your way? Are you only concerned about your needs and desires?When you care only about what you want and consider others needs much less important, you are destroying your relationship. You should be as much a giver as a taker if you want to have a successful relationship.

11) Being Dishonest: Honesty is very important in relationships. Being dishonest to your partner can make you guilty. It is better to trust your man with the truth that letting him find it out from anyone else. If you lied and got caught, he may never trust you even if you are telling the truth. When trust is lacking in a relationship, it is less likely to succeed.

12) Not listening or Talking: Good Communication is an essential ingredient for any successful relationship. Not listening could be worse than responding negatively. Share your problems and happiness with your Partner and also try to be a good listener when he talks. By doing it you are letting your Guy know that you value his presence in your life.

13) Not expressing love: A women can express her love for man in many ways. Keep the romantic gestures and talks alive in your relationship. Even taking good care of your appearance and body is an expression of love.

14) Deny Reality: There are women who prefer to keep a blind eye when problems appear in relationship. Ignoring the problems and not accepting that there is a problem can destroy a relationship. Problems and troubles do not vanish on their own; you have to deal with it.

All the mistakes listed above can destroy a relationship. There is no point in regretting later. Check out my Hub on How to be a Good Girlfriend for tips on having a successful relationship. Have I left anything out? Feel free to add through comments.


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  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    14 Mistakes of Women that can ruin a Happily Ever After Relationship - Tips for Successful relationships, great hub and such truth in this hub. Many women cling or try to change their partners to make them what they are not or not comfortable with. Helpful tips mentioned here.

  • profile image

    Alan 5 years ago

    Great job, Anamika. Don't take it hard at all, regarding posters' far overstated, "this applies to men, too." Wow.

    It was so refreshing to hear someone say women really do these things. Yet, letting it sink in couldn't last a second for the very sensitive who probably need the advice, who felt compelled to quickly share the potential scrutiny with men.

    I knew you'd later write on men, substituting and making more specific certain points!

    Thanks for the specific advice, your thought involved, and your excellent, caring writing!

  • NotPC profile image

    NotPC 5 years ago

    Great Hub! A lot of these, if not all of them, go for me too. It's important to remember that a relationship is about teamwork, not about one person controling or being dominate. Thus, it's important for men to understand these are things they should avoid as well. A women is just as likely to want to end a relationship with some or all of these behaviors.

  • incomeguru profile image

    Oyewole Folarin 5 years ago from Lagos

    Most women are unaware of some of these points contained in this hub. And that is why they keep talking about their ex, and which in most cases men hates to hear.

  • homesteadbound profile image

    Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

    This hub is filled with lots of great advice that we can all use in our relationships. I look forward to reading more in your next hub. It is very important to make our spouse or lover feel like they are the one and only and that we love them for who they are.

  • RicoShae profile image

    RicoShae 5 years ago from Ballwin, mo

    I believe that these behaviors could sabotage a relationship with either gender.

  • rajan jolly profile image

    Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

    Anamika, these are very good guidelines equally applicable to the man.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Voted up.

  • marcoujor profile image

    Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

    Sage words, Anamika... Voted UP & Beautiful, just like you! Hugs to you, mar.

  • profile image

    AEvans 5 years ago

    Wonderful tips Anamika the do's and dont's of having a good relationship. Glad to know that you and your ex are at least friends. :)

  • sholland10 profile image

    Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

    Great advice! I think when men hear a woman dissing their ex's, they might think, "Hey, what is she going to say about me?" I don't know if that is what they think, but I think that when I see others talking about other people. Also, we aren't a match if we want to change the other. You have to love the person for who that person is. As a high school teacher, I see girls trying to control and change their boyfriends all the time... Their relationships usually don't last. Great hub! Votes and shared! :-)

  • JayeWisdom profile image

    Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

    I agree that these are behaviors that will sabotage a relationship, but must also point out they aren't limited to women. Men are just as likely as women to do any of these things, and it's just as damaging when they do them as when women are the culprits.

    I realize that our living in different cultures probably affects how you and I each view the suggestion that a woman who earns more money than the man in her life should protect his ego by not mentioning it. My immediate reaction is that if his ego is that fragile, he needs to be with someone else, preferably someone poor. But, I'm an older American woman with a feminist philosophy, so please take that into consideration.

    Both women and men have to work toward nurturing relationships. Just like flowers, a relationship won't bloom without the proper ongoing care. If a relationship (marriage or otherwise) is worth having, it is worth caring for daily.

    Even in Western countries, where women like to say a marriage should be a 50/50 partnership, that isn't practical all the time. The balance will tip to one side or the other all along the life of the marriage, depending on circumstances. Sometimes one of the partners will lead and the other follow, then their roles will reverse. When two people really love each other, they are willing to live with those fluctuations and "not sweat the small stuff", but to enjoy the overall happiness they gain by being together.

  • Ruchira profile image

    Ruchira 5 years ago from United States

    Good pointers Anamika. Gotta work on some myself

    Thanks and voted up!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

    Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

    What a great list! All women need this - we too often fall into traps of behaving like a not-so-nice friend, or not recognizing our self-destructive actions. I like the scope of the things you mentioned. You touched on relationship issues as well as personality issues. Voted up, useful and awesome. And SHARED.

  • Melovy profile image

    Yvonne Spence 5 years ago from UK

    Interesting hub. My mother once told me a joke in which her mother says to her daughter on her wedding day that the way to remember what to do in church is: “Aisle, altar, hymn,” (I’ll alter him.) And this is what the mother advises her daughter to do in marriage! But my mother agreed with you that this wasn’t likely to lead to a happy marriage.

    All of us can react in those ways you describe, and your hub is a good reminder to stop and think before reacting.

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

    That was a great hub Anamika, and yes, men can do these things just as women can, so it should be read and internalized by everyone. Nicely done!

  • Anamika S profile image

    Anamika S 5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    @calpol25 Thanks a lot for the appreciation.

    @TheScarletPlague I agree! You have got a point there. Some mistakes are common. Since I am going to write on the mistakes of men too, I though I would keep the advice separate.

  • TheScarletPlague profile image

    TheScarletPlague 5 years ago from Florida

    These are things that men can do to ruin a relationship just as frequently as women can. This is a generic list of obvious advice. Don't brag, don't be unfaithful, don't be controlling. Why do you think women are more likely to do these things than men are? We're all human. You should target your hub to a more general audience (men and women) so the women don't feel so attacked.

  • calpol25 profile image

    Callum 5 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner)

    Fantastic hub Anamika have enjoyed reading and am looking forward to your next ones :) have shared all over and wish you the best of luck x