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5 Reasons an Introverted Person May Not Want to Socialize

Updated on November 14, 2018
kiddiecreations profile image

Nicole has a degree in psychology, and is a mom to three young sons. She loves all things art, and enjoys writing about her experiences.

1. Being Deep in Thought

When an introvert has a lot on his/her mind or is deep in thought about a topic or situation, that person may not be in the mood to socialize. Introverts tend to withdraw from crowds and even other individuals when they have a lot going on emotionally. Don't worry, though! Once some internal processing has gone on, and that person has had time to think and be alone, he/she will come back out and commune with the outside world (including friends and family!) again.

2. Not Knowing People Very Well

If you invite an introvert to a party, for example, he/she may not stay very long (or show up at all) if they do not know anyone there very well. It can be very overwhelming and intimidating to meet new people if you are not in the right mood, when you are an introvert. That's because socializing with people, especially new people, can often times feel very draining to an introvert. Being around people the introvert knows well is much more relaxing and peaceful, although there are times when introverts are in the mood to meet new people and make new friends.

3. In the Middle of a Project

Projects an be all-encompassing for some people, and introverts can get so focused on what's going on in their own world, internally, that it's easy to shut everyone else out until their goal is accomplished. If you find an introvert dab smack in the middle of a pressing deadline for work, a creative project, or the like, you may have to wait for them to join you to catch that movie or get that cup of coffee.

4. Lots Going On in Life to Process

This sort of goes along with the first point. If circumstances are busy or overwhelming for an introvert, or especially challenging or stressful, that person will most likely have to find a time to retreat and recharge their batteries. It's nothing against you personally. Introverts just need times of solitude and reflection to process and regroup. Once they are rejuvenated by that alone time, they will be more than happy to spend time with you!

5. Not Expecting Company

If an introvert is not expecting company, it can be difficult for that person to get into that frame of mind. Not all introverts are this way, but some may need advance notice to get together, and might not necessarily appreciate "pop-ins" like a more outgoing person might. It's just the way they are designed, and there's no right or wrong to it. So consider calling or texting an introverted person first, instead of just showing up on their doorstep unannounced!


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    • kiddiecreations profile imageAUTHOR

      Nicole K 

      2 years ago

      Interesting point, dashingscorpio. I guess the person could just be "self-centered". I'm sure there are also extroverts who are self-centered as well, at times. I think all personality types can be. I really do believe that some individuals get energy from socializing, while others find it more draining and need to recharge. When I was younger, I was much more shy and reserved, but as I got older, I became much more outgoing. But I do still enjoy personal times of reflection. We have a friend who is sometimes not at home when we're in town, even though he knew we were coming. He gets into these moods where he has to go and have solitude for awhile. Then he's ready to visit again. I'd like to think he's not being selfish, and that it's just his personality. I guess it all depends on your perspective!

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      2 years ago from Chicago

      There is also the possibility they are "self-centered".

      Rarely does anyone mention the fact that in order to be "sociable" one must take an interest in other people and (want) to get to know them. There's a difference between "shy" and an "introvert".

      A "shy person" wishes they had the confidence to be more outgoing and knew how to avoid feeling (awkward).

      An introvert (prefers) to have their own corner of the world and has no desire to "mingle" with others. In some respects they see themselves as being "above it all". If one refuses to play the game of trying to be "liked and accepted" they avoid being rejected.

      Essentially a large part of being an introvert is avoiding potential pain. The smaller one's "circle" is the less likely of being hurt. Everyone is entitled to have their own wall of protection.

      Some people believe empowerment comes from being in the position of saying yes or no to anyone who approaches them.

      However the real power comes from being proactive and not being reactive. He or she who is proactive if rejected simply moves on to the next person. An introvert has to (wait) to be approached again. They're not creating their own opportunities.

      One man's opinion! :)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for sharing these insights on the introvert. There is so much we don't know about the people in our space. Thanks for the lesson.


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