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5 Ways of Dealing with a Cheating Spouse

Updated on February 18, 2012
Dealing With a Cheating Spouse
Dealing With a Cheating Spouse

Dealing with a cheating spouse is one of the most painful experiences in life you may ever have to deal with. It is an emotionally wrecking and traumatic experience and the knowledge of your spouse’s infidelity is most likely to make you feel depressed, anxious, and engulf you with a sense of great loss. Dealing with a cheating spouse is very difficult and needs strong determination and cool-headed thinking. Here are five ways to deal with his cheating.

Avoid Taking Any Impulsive Decisions

It is true that emotions will be running high at this point and you will be distressed and hurt, but do not take any hasty decisions that you might regret later. Don't pack your bags and leave the house in a huff or call up your lawyer to start the divorce proceedings. Instead take time to come to terms with the shock that you are feeling. Sleep over it and think calmly about the situation after a day or two.

Don’t Withdraw

During a situation like this, we tend to withdraw into a shell and isolate ourselves. But this will create lot of tension and stress within you. So don’t isolate yourself from people; instead you need to talk to people. Another good idea sometimes is to talk to your spouse and tell them exactly how you feel so that they can understand your feelings about the situation.

Keep Busy

In cases of spouse infidelity, people tend to brood a lot and then sink into depression. But being depressed won’t solve the situation as you have to stay strong and come out of this without causing damage to yourself. To avoid slipping into depression, keep yourself busy and also start thinking of ways of dealing with a cheating spouse.

Keep your Friends Close

Friends become a wonderful asset during a time of need like this. Let out steam with friends you trust. They will make you feel better and possibly also help you make the right decisions.

Take Care of Your Health

In a situation like this, you will start feeling depressed and stop eating properly, exercising or if you are on some sort of medication, then you totally ignore the medication. There is no point in causing yourself more harm so don’t ignore your health.

Dealing with a cheating spouse is very painful, but it is not the end of the world as it may seem at the moment. So just take your time to cool down and believe that it is going to be okay and you will get the right solutions and courage to deal with the situation.

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      maria 3 years ago

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    • profile image

      Angie 3 years ago

      I got my man back with the great help from Dr Agba, he help me cast a spell that brought him back to my arms in just 3 days. my man left me with out a formal notification and now he is back, once again i want to thank Dr Agba for his wonderful spell, am now a happy woman. If you ever need help, is where to contact him and he will be of great help.

    • profile image

      john 4 years ago

      my wife cheating with my friend, he decided to tell me the truth with prove and my immigration at steaks, what can I do?

    • dosborne08 profile image

      dosborne08 4 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL


      You have hit it on the head. If you have been cheated on, take the advice by Wisdom to heart. It will get you through your difficult time and back to being happy sooner than you think.

    • profile image

      Wisdom 4 years ago

      Why are you hurt? The cheater should not be held in esteem. They lack what is necessary for you to respect them or hold them in high esteem. Things like being respectable, having good character, being dignified, have values and morals, telling the truth, not being sneaky and a liar, the list is endless. The cheater is lacking and it does not reflect on the cheated. I never have any respect for a cheater, nor would it impact my self esteem or how I value myself. Rather pity the cheater who lives in a world of guilt, dread and lack of self esteem. They can't love themselves and act this way. The actions they take lact respect and trust. After you go through the grieving and shock period. See the truth and it is this. The cheater does not deserve your admiration or your respect, just see them for what they are. The Bible states, "You will know the truth and the truth will make you free", free of the impact that the insensitive, uncaring, self centered, self absorbed, hypocritical and non virtuous cheaters could have on you if you let them. Do not let them impact you at all.

    • profile image

      Bridget 5 years ago

      i ve gotten used to my hubby's infidelity and theres nothing i can do to change him, he has cheated on me atleast four times. however, i ve decided to go to back to school and start our divorce proceedings when i finish my course in August. "once a cheater, always a cheater"

    • profile image

      Jenny 5 years ago

      My husband is obviously still in contact with her ex-girlfriend. They still have an affair. At the same time also he is flirting with other girls. This make me feel hurt and devastated. What shall i do?

    • profile image

      Eva 5 years ago

      what to do,I read an sms to my husband cell phone from woman cell phone reanding"the kiss you ask,I admit it cos it have been long time,hope to see u soon my love"what must i do to find out who is this women and where do she is staying.we are now two year in marriage.

    • dosborne08 profile image

      dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL


      I am very sorry to hear that. When doubt creeps into a relationship it makes it very hard for it to work properly. I personally wouldn't discount what he said, even after he said he didn't feel that way. Pay attention to what's going on around you. There will be enough clues for you to know whether or not he meant what he said. Good luck!

    • profile image

      Uggy 6 years ago

      My husband told me has feelings for someone else under the influence of grog but the next day he said he didn't feel like that it was the grog but I feel shattered he works with this girl he told her how he felt and she rejected him and said it would never happen I still fill sick paranoid and freaking out all the time help. !!!

    • profile image

      pssj 6 years ago

      I deployed to afghanistan and while i was deployed i learned my wife was cheating on me with not 1 but 2 guys. I found this out when i called 1 of the guys 1 night to see why he was starting stuff with my wife and her friend. After that asked the wife and she told me she slept with him b4 i ever left my mob sight. Then she told me the other was to clear her head of the first while i was actually deployed. And she did both on my couch in my house im paying for. And she is due in Oct. with my kid. I want revenge so bad but the only way to get revenge is to destroy all 3 of their futures. I want to but at the same time the guys were my best friends or so i thought and she is gonna be my sons mom. What do i do.

    • dotty1 profile image

      dotty1 6 years ago from In my world

      I thought your advice was good... the only thing is, all men are different and in my experience they allways get angry at you!!!! calling names such as psycho to name but one... I feel completely terrible for the people that have just discovered a loved ones infidelity :( I only wish that it was easier to deal with...D x

    • profile image

      youngie1 7 years ago

      thanks for ur advice. I've had to address the issue like u said and he didn't confess or repent or anything. instead he said its all over cos i don't trust him and that's why i checked his email. guess that says it all. i calmed down very well before i spoke to himabt it so i'm ok

    • dosborne08 profile image

      dosborne08 7 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL


      I am very sorry to hear about your situation. At this point, if you are sure that he has cheated, you will have a serious decision to make. If you decide to stay, you will need to address the issue despite whether or not he gets mad about you checking his email. He did wrong, so you need to remember that. It should be up to him to give you are genuine reason as to why you should stay. It is up to you to decide, if that reason is good enough. If it doesn't matter to him, then that should tell you something. Good luck!

    • profile image

      youngie 7 years ago

      why do men pretend so much? i am deeply hurt and confused. just found out my husb has been cheating on me for a whole year with a 53 yr old lady, he's just 36. i feel worthless, ashamed and so betrayed. don't know how to confront him cos i searched his emails. he will turn it around and ask why i searched his emails and then the whole blame will be on me. he goes to church, we have a very active sex life, i help him out in all ways possible, so why should he do this to me? somebody pls help.

    • profile image

      maami 7 years ago

      my husband is always laying about everthing thing i asked and sometime i know the trueth,but i went him to come out and talk to me in his own worads, he will lay allmost about everything, the affairs,calling ex gril friends am getting tiard about all this things.what is this with men smeone outthere should help me understand please

    • profile image

      Jason 8 years ago

      I like the way the writer of the article assumes the cheating spouse is a he! I am laying in bed now in the early hours of the morning having just discovered a whole bunch of stuff on my wifes computer that proved she's cheating on me. She cheated on me previously and we patched it up and went to counselling but now she's doing it again.

      Am doing as the writer suggests and sleeping on it if (I can get dome sleep) but feel really awful. I feel so hurt and betrayed.