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A Lesson in Forgiveness

Updated on July 19, 2012

e-mail request

September 2nd 2011 I received the following e-mail:

Hi there,

I thought the website we have been developing might be of interest to you and your visitors:

The purpose of the site is ultimately to provide the UK with a huge hypnotherapy support network, enabling those in distress to find a hypnotherapist close to them and appropriate for their needs. This is a free, confidential service that will provide those seeking support with all the information they need. Every hypnotherapist on the site who has submitted their profile has either sent a copy of their qualifications and insurance cover to us, or is registered with a professional body with recognised codes of ethics and practice, this way we can be assured of their professionalism.

I was wondering if you would be able to provide a link to our website, possibly from your Useful Links section here: I think our site will be a useful resource for those looking for support or general advice about hypnotherapy.

Thank you very much for your time, I hope to hear from you soon.

Kindest regards

A second thought

I receive lots of requests like this and didn't give it a second thought. But when I received the following e-mail I thought perhaps that I should look into it because I don't normally receive follow-up e-mails like this and these people sounded genuine.

Hi there,

I just wondered if you've had a chance to read the email I sent recently regarding this page on your website:

Kind regards

Different perceptions

I re-read the original e-mail and I checked out the directory which seemed really good and I thought I had nothing to lose by adding their link to my website and so I did expecting that I would be added to their directory for doing this.
Not only did I add the directory's link but I tweeted it on Twitter and mentioned it in my Hypnotherapy Daily which is a daily newspaper I created. I checked the directory to see if they had included my details but found no mention of my private practice. I just thought that these things take time so I waited.
When after two weeks I still could not see that we were added I sent an e-mail asking why our details were not added to the directory. I sent a few such e-mails and heard nothing back until this morning when I received the following e-mail:
Hi Xavier,

Apologies, it appears we have crossed wires somewhat!

I'm afraid I am unable to provide a listing to Setanta Hypnotherapy Clinic on Hypnotherapy Directory. Hypnotherapy Directory is a subscription service, and it would be unfair to our paying members to give you a listing for free.

Sorry for the confusion.

Best Wishes,

A polite reply


Nowhere in any of your communication to me did you say what you are now saying. It is not a matter of crossed wires I have simply been misled.

I am glad that you have finally cleared that up after my numerous e-mails asking you why our details had not been added to your directory.

Best wishes


I have since removed the hypnotherapy directory link from my website and I have also removed all connections between me and the .

I have waved goodbye to these people and am grateful to them for teaching me such a valuable lesson.

Opportunity knocks!

This is simply a lesson in forgiveness. We all experience things in our lives that have the potential to upset our peace and give us a reason to judge others and make ourselves angry. I chose not to use this experience to anger myself but to see it as an opportunity to forgive, myself for not being more diligent and Catriona for not being more upfront with me. At the end of the day this happened because I have not been so forgiving in the past and I kept getting such experiences until I learned to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness is a way of life and it is like the tree that gives shade to the King and the pauper alike. Love does not distinguish between people. Love and forgiveness are unconditional but as long as we place conditions on either then we remain trapped in the cycle of death and rebirth.

Forgiveness is a journey

Please watch the following video and consider the part forgiveness plays in your life. Every journey starts with the first step and by taking the opportunities presented to us in our daily lives we learn to crawl before someday learning to fly.

The Forgiveness Project are sucking your website dry

My wife and I are both members of the National Council for Hypnotherapy in the UK and we both received an e-mail shortly after I published this hub. The e-mail pertains directly to the subject matter of this hub. Following is a link to that communication. are sucking your website dry


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    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      LOL it must be old age setting in. I was sure I corrected that when you first pointed it out. Thank you so much for pointing that out and I hope you continue to cover my back when I do make these silly typos. And yes, things are looking up now and forgiveness is a key theme in my life though at times I do find it difficult I persevere with the path I have chosen. Take care Dixie, my friend.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Were you imbibing spirits earlier Spirit? OK, thats a joke! Go up to the first comment and you'll see. Maybe you already fixed it or i read it wrong. It was all in good humor my friend. Hope that thing you mentioned whats troubling for you is resolving its self favorably. Got some probs here too but everything will come out in the wash for us.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you Alastar for your most insightful comment. Please tell me where the typos are and I will correct them. Thanks again for helping me solve the follow/unfollow problem. Now I just need to sort my e-mail settings. Everytime HP changes things it takes me a while to get my head around it all. Yo8u are a good friend and I appreciate your patient and considerate assistance always.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 6 years ago from North Carolina

      OK, normally I'd let this amazing revelation from James Watkins and your response stand Spirit. Amazing because of all the things that can happen in this world how could anyone ever forgive something like that. Your phrase,- We may be on different roads, but all roads lead to Rome - is coming to mind for some reason. Forgiveness can be one of the hardest things in life to do. Revenge only breeds revenge and so it goes. PS- that thing with the typos is all tongue-in-cheek my friend.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      It is the toughest but the most important lesson that life has to teach us. Thank you James for sharing that story and I am looking forward to reading your hub on this subject.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

      Forgiveness. I love it.

      I met a man whose entire exended family was massacred at Rwanda by machete. He ended up a minister.

      When he prayed God would speak to him and say "Forgive them." Every few days he received this message for a few years. I am going to write about this soon, thanks to your inspiration.

      Day after day, Pastor Jackson said "NO!. No, God. I will do anything else but I will not forgive them for hacking my wife, children, parents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and grandparents to death."

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Thank you stessily for visiting and commenting. We are constantly being presented with opportunities to forgive and when we take them we are better for it.

    • profile image

      stessily 6 years ago

      Spirit Whisperer: My understanding of three of the world's major religions is that a major focus of Christianity is forgiveness, of Buddhism is compassion, and of Islam is surrender. In exploring forgiveness, I am finding that these three concepts are in an enhancing spiral, for surrender and compassion facilitate forgiveness and vice versa.

      The ways in which opportunities for forgiveness present themselves are so interesting and diverse; for example, this instance of forgiveness in your life.

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Forgiveness is a work progress for me too, always exploring and I don't always get it right. I do my best. Thank you for the visit and cool comment.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Forgiveness is not always easy. I do know that unless we forgive, we will not be contented. I strive to forgive, it's a work in progress. Thank you for a timely article...

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 6 years ago from Isle of Man

      Alastar, thank you for visiting and why would I feel anything but appreciation for you pointing out the typo? I don't know how I miss them and this happens even after Mary has proofed it LOL!

      I have had some pretty strange experiences lately that have made me did deep into my forgiveness resources. It is all learning and in my books chickens are just coming home to roost. I was not a very tolerant or patient individual in my younger years so it is only fitting that I am now getting a dose of my own medicine. LOL! Mary says hello and please say hello to your better half for me too.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. An idiom to live by, but that doesn't mean we should not forgive. Negative feelings over anything, only breeds negativity and bears no good fruit. Thank you Spirit for sharing this. It's a big reminder to place emotions and thoughts in their proper context. In other words; unless the action[s] of another truly warrant it, forgive, forget, and move on. PS- Irish, I warned you after you pointed out a typo of mine that you better watch out. In 'Different perceptions' there's- "and and I though I",- hoping you'll forgive me like I forgave you my friend..LOL! Say hello to Mary please.