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Anger Can Destroy Everything Held Dear

Updated on August 24, 2011

Some things are better left unsaid!

“Anger is not a good communicator. Be mindful that words have the power to destroy all that is sacred to your heart. We cannot take anything back once it is spoken...ever”. By~Becky Jo Gibson~

I'd be willing to bet that you have said something in anger to a loved one. Perhaps it was only part true, or something you felt yet never actually said out loud. Your angry words caused a feeling of regret. Maybe not, maybe there was some relief gained from finally saying what you had been hold back. The regret perhaps came from wishing you had said it nicer. Or talked about the feelings rather than yell? Regardless, the words stated in anger did not assist in bettering your relationship or your communication with your loved one.

Your outburst no doubt caused confusion and pain for your loved one. Perhaps you touched a nerve. Struck an old wound that really caused pain. Angry words leave holes that cannot be repaired. \o matter how much we wish we could take something back, the fact is that we cannot. Once the words come out they take on a life of their own and can not be unheard.

The devastation that anger and resentment causes in relationships is without parallel. It takes seconds to destroy all that you hold dear. Angry words often cause a pain so deep that it can lead to the demise of trust, security and faith in a relationship. A few angry words and the spiral begins. Down, down, down goes those carefree moments when everything was without question. The pain caused by these words sets in the spirit of the recipient. Sucking the life out of the good things that sustained the love through hard times. Now there are only hard times inside. Oh, he or she may put on a happy face and trudge on not giving it another thought...forgiving their loved one. That is until a snag comes along. It can take any form, a strange look, forgotten dinner plans, tardiness, a tone in the voice. Then along comes that pain, up close and personal. Deep seeded by now it causes one to feel slighted yet another time. The situation causing it to slap them in the face is magnified...much more serious than it perhaps should be.

There is a solution. As my mother always said, "Think before you speak". Simple yet so hard to live this simple action. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do yet it can be done. I find that to seek to relate rather than judge helps me in healing from a perceived slight from a loved ones tongue.

There have been times in my life that I would have been better off if I had held my tongue. At 51 years old I find it easier to think about what I say before I say it. I also find it easier to forgive. I find that I can identify a resentment and put it in its place. Away from me and my spirit. Life is what it is and people are people. Sometimes people make mistakes and if God can forgive, then who am I not to? Finding a place to put the pain can be challenging. Prayer is a good tool...

God Bless you and yours,

Becky Jo aka Inspired Hippy


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    • InspiredHippy profile imageAUTHOR

      Becky Jo Gibson 

      9 years ago from Downtown San Diego, California

      Thank you! God bless

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Great points! Enjoyed this article :)

    • A.A. Zavala profile image

      Augustine A Zavala 

      9 years ago from Texas

      The reason anger is so dangerous is because it triggers our fight or flight response, and puts our bodies and emotions on edge. When your in this state, it's difficult to just step back and take stock. Your ready to fight or flee! But, we must. Otherwise we end up burning brideges we need to get back home. Awesome hub, thank you for sharing.

    • InspiredHippy profile imageAUTHOR

      Becky Jo Gibson 

      9 years ago from Downtown San Diego, California

      Being a woman of many contradictions...I agree with you. Thank you for your comment and your take on my hub. I know that sometimes biting my tounge is NOT a good thing. I appreciate your reminding me of this!

      God Bless

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      It's funny this has caught my attention on a day I have said so many things I meant and will not take it back even if it were possible. But once upon a time as a child teenager and young adult I always bit my tongue. I knew what I was capable of and instead of destroying whosoevers feelings I bit my tongue and let it ride. As I got older I realized this is the worst thing you can do because you poison yourself and if the other person is either immature, irresponsible or just doesn't give a hoot they will continue to place whatever burden they can on you, whether it is verbal or physical. As always I will say to each his own, as well as I will also say it is not good to hold on to anything. It's counter productive and stifling concerning all levels of having great relationships. Resentment and all of the above negative rise to the surface when you hold on irresponsibly as well as to appease.

      P.S. anger can destroy but it can only do damage if the foundation was weak to begin with

    • Darknlovely3436 profile image


      9 years ago from NewYork

      Life is what it is and people are people : absolute correct people would never change.. I enjoyed reading this.



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