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Tangled In a Crime of Passion~

Updated on July 15, 2014
CrisSp profile image

CrisSp is your Emergency Specialist at 37 Thousand feet. A writer without a niche. Surely, wonderwoman consumed by wonderlust!

They taught you not to speak to strangers and then they asked you to sleep with one. ~
They taught you not to speak to strangers and then they asked you to sleep with one. ~ | Source
Saira Liaqat
Saira Liaqat | Source
Kanwal Kayum
Kanwal Kayum | Source
Irum Saeed
Irum Saeed | Source
Shruti Satyanarayana
Shruti Satyanarayana | Source

"Arranged marriage is like window-shopping, you get something that you never wanted in the first place." ~ JD Ghai

In some countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Cambodia, Saudi Arabia, and some other Middle Eastern, African countries and European countries, arranged marriage is common and is still a big part of their culture. More often, these women have no choice but to oblige. And, for those who have chosen otherwise and brave enough to say no and put down the marriage proposal, there is an absolute horrific return.

Take for example the case of these women:

  1. Saira Liaqat – married at the age of 15. However, as part of the arranged condition, she has to live with her parents until she graduates from school. Apparently, her husband got angry on this condition and so in retribution, he doused her face with acid. She is now 26 years old and has survived 9 corrective surgeries, so far.
  2. Kanwal Kayum – was punished by another acid attack by the boy she refused to marry. The scorned lover cannot take defeat. Embarrassment compelled him to do such horrific act against the girl.
  3. Irum Saeed – was 18 when she rejected the proposal of a young boy who threw acid on her face because of the rejection. The acid affected her face, back, shoulder and her vision. After 25 surgeries, her right eye remains blind. She is now 30 years old.
  4. Shruti Satyanarayana -a beautiful student who dreamt of becoming a doctor was splashed acid on her face after rejecting a proposal from a mad man who had his eyes on her. She sustained severe burn injuries on her face and lower body part. She survived but her face was completely disfigured beyond repair.


For the committers, it is not only for revenge or humiliation but more so that the girls cannot be with any other man anymore. The attacks could certainly be deadly. And, for those victims who survived, they definitely suffered tremendous complications from having a disfigured face, loss of eyesights, loss of blood and most importantly self-esteem.

Where in the world?

The South Asian Countries
The South Asian Countries | Source

Your take

Do you agree on arranged marriage?

See results

What is Arranged Marriage?

Arranged marriage has been part of a culture worldwide long ago and in the modern days, it has continued even with the royals, aristocratic and some ethnic minority groups in some developed, developing and underdeveloped countries.

Arranged marriage is a traditional union of two individuals as customary before an extensive relationship. These individuals may not even know each other until the actual wedding day and thus, it is marriage without love as opposed to love marriage. The meet-up and the marriage itself is planned and arranged by the parents (or guardian) of both parties.

Arranged marriage is not just a tradition. It comes with a purpose of safeguarding the happiness of both engaging individuals and that the relationship is secure towards building a family (so they think). Unlike in the western culture where physical attraction or affection usually comes first before marriage the sort of romantic love, arranged marriage does not have any pre-romantic involvement. For the parents (or guardians), it is to protect and prevent both parties to seek pleasure before the marriage. It is arrange by the parents (or guardians) because they know best for their children. They believed they do but in reality, it is a perverted notion of family honor.

Ask any woman in an arranged marriage. Love is the least stressful way out. Fay Weldon~
Ask any woman in an arranged marriage. Love is the least stressful way out. Fay Weldon~ | Source

Did you know?

Forced Marriage is a violation of human rights. It is a form of abuse since it violates the principle of the freedom and autonomy of individuals.


Forced Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Do not confuse arranged marriage against forced marriage, wherein one or both of the parties get married without each others consent. It differs from an arranged marriage in a sense that, arranged marriage have the consent of both parties or in which both parties consent to the aid of their parents (or guardians) to find their match or simply put this way:

Forced Marriage VS Arranged Marriage

Forced Marriage
Arranged Marriage
No romantic involvement prior
No romantic involvement prior
Against their will; consent under duress
Consented matchmaking; maybe consented under duress
Parents (or guardians) decide
Parents (or guardians) decide
Soon to be couples have no choice (compelled) but to marry
Soon to be couples have the final choice to marry or not

Arranged Marriage Pros and Cons

Arranged marriage is not for everyone. Unfortunately, some are compelled to do so and oblige against their will.

Arranged marriage is an ethnic process and it varies from one tribe to another. In some countries, planning and arrangement begin as soon as the mother gives birth to a child. In some, marriage ritual could actually happen even before the child reached its puberty although it can only be consumed right after puberty or once the individual has reached its maturity. Some, until the girl or the boy is old enough. Perhaps, like after graduation from high school or after completion of higher education and once the boy has settled with a good, decent job ready enough to raise a family.

Source

Factors to consider for arranged marriage:

In considering arranged marriage, there are things that the family (parents or guardians) must look into like:

  1. Family reputation and standing in the society/community
  2. Wealth and prestige
  3. Family values including faith or religion
  4. Medical history
  5. Physical appearance mainly the color of the skin and height

In some cultures, even horoscope or the zodiac sign must be considered for compatibility purposes.

But, what happens if women refused the arrangement?

Mad with rage!

Acid attacker Rajesh from Bangalore, India served 7 years in jail and was sent back for life imprisonment.
Acid attacker Rajesh from Bangalore, India served 7 years in jail and was sent back for life imprisonment. | Source

Acid Throwing

Acid throwing or acid attack is a common form of violent assault and incidences are high particularly in South Asian Countries and the Middle East. Perpetrators of the attack throw acid at the victims, usually at their faces as a form of revenge obviously resulting into permanent damages of the face and body and most irreparable, the psychological and financial difficulties for the victim.

Although acid attack is most common in the aforementioned countries, it is, reported that it is happening in many parts of the world.

"You can't say no! Arranged marriage is a tradition and you can't say no!" ~

What’s unbelievable yet true is that in some countries, acid attack victims are psychologically mistreated after the acid attack and the victims (women) are usually blamed while the perpetrators (men) are treated sympathetically.

Acid attack victim Fakhra Younus tremendously suffered at the hands of her “dishonored” ex-husband. She committed suicide by jumping from her sixth floor apartment window in the early spring of 2012.
Acid attack victim Fakhra Younus tremendously suffered at the hands of her “dishonored” ex-husband. She committed suicide by jumping from her sixth floor apartment window in the early spring of 2012. | Source

With the implementation of more stringent laws, can we prevent acid attacks from happening?

See results

What triggers these men to commit the crime?

Acid attack is also known as a “crime of passion.” Accordingly, 80 percent of acid attacks are on women (source: London based charity-Acid Survivors Trust International) and not all incidents are reported. As per authorities, the attacks are often driven by the mentality that, “If I can't have you, no one shall.” It is fueled by jealousy and revenge from a jilted lover. It has been used as a form of revenge against rejection or refusal to marry or of sexual advances and or demands for dowry.

There are also instances that in failing to accept the arrangement, the girls' father themselves would attack them with acid as punishment for the "shameful act" of refusing the father's decision of the arranged marriage.

Another factor that situates victims at the risk of an acid assault is their socioeconomic status. Sadly, those living in poverty are more likely to be attacked, disdained and trashed.

Acid terrorism and the law~

We now live in a modern world. However, despite the modernity, the custom and tradition of arranged marriage still exists and is quite a norm, especially for the South Asian heritage. Some can be successful and for some, it is an absolute disaster. Regardless, it is still a form of oppression and abuse.

Since arranged marriage is one of the biggest culprits of acid attacks, maybe it is time to re-think and perhaps now abolish the tradition. However, the problem is not the arrangement or the tradition but the mentality of the committers. Acid throwing is an assault and in many countries legislation has already been implemented to address the issue and emphasize the enormity of this crime. A few have already engaged new laws against the crime. In some countries, it is a tit-for-tat law, wherein the perpetrators will also suffer the same fate as the victim. Some will face harsh fines and probably life imprisonment against acid terrorism.


Final Thoughts~

Arranged (and forced) marriage and acid throwing are fiercely tangled, complex subject matter. Acid violence is cruel, vicious, and inhuman. This abusive attitude of spurned men is of grave concern and it affects women everywhere. With the implementation of more stringent laws, can we prevent acid attacks from happening?

Maybe not completely because even though arranged marriage and rejection can spark anger from these ditched lovers, acid throwing is considered a form of gender violence, wherein women expressing their freedom are the targets.

"We all have the right and the freedom to choose." ~

However, we are now in the century of the Anno Domini era and arranged marriage is ancient. Would it help if we call to disband the ethnic tradition of arranged marriage? Would modern education change the perspective of these rejected lovers and perhaps end this brutal crime?

DIGNITY & FREEDOM!

Every culture deserves some pinch of respect, however, the tradition of arranged marriage should dissipate if life, equality and dignity is at risk. Marriage is a matter of the heart. It should only be decided by the soon-to-be couples not by parents or anyone else. Marriage should be based on emotion. Arrange your own marriage based on what you feel, based on love and see how it fits your life style. And maybe, just maybe the culprit of acid throwing will disappear as well.

"The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that a woman's right to choose a spouse and enter freely into marriage is central to her life and dignity and equality as a human being." ~ http://www.un.org

Culture and family tradition is great but this tradition of arranged (or forced) marriage is way past time. The pain, the trauma and the sufferings of an acid attack victim is barbaric. It is horrible and it is time to rethink about the tradition and perhaps completely dissolve it.

But then again, this is only my opinion. What's your take on it? Let me know what you think in the comment box below and your voice be heard and be counted, take the poll above. Thank you.

Copyright@CrisSp~TM/07-2014. Fearless but not heartless!

© 2014 CrisSp

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Criss, I really do try to stay open-minded about other cultures, but there is no way I can find justification for violence like acid-throwing. I guess I'm not as open-minded as I thought. :)

      hugs from Oly

      bill

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Very hard to read and look at. Devils or demons only could do things like this. Apparently ignorance too for a people or country to accept such behavior so that things like this go on. Yet I am aware of this and even worse so that even mothers do not protect or stand by their own daughters. I just can't imagine it.

    • rdsparrowriter profile image

      rdsparrowriter 2 years ago

      So awful. I just cannot imagine the pain that women have to go through. How cruel! It's so depressing to have such kind of social order/culture. I remember a girl in sri lanka also had to go through acid splash because she didn't like a guy when I was small. It was terrible to hear. But not all the proposal marriages ends up like that. Some do good. It depends on the person.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      I don't agree with arranged marriages and it is sad to how woman have to go through such events.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Very disturbing reality, especially when a father participates in such atrocities. There are other cultures where the husband has the right to kill the wife if he just thinks whatever, and it is all accepted.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Acid throwing for refusing an arranged marriage or for any other reason is a dog act Cris. It needs to be stopped and authorities need to be harder on the perpetrators. It should be treated as attempted murder and attract long prison sentences. I would say 'an eye for an eye' and that the men who do this should have the same done back to them...that may actually stop it happening. Very important hub, voted up.

    • janetwrites profile image

      Janet Giessl 2 years ago from Georgia country

      When I hear about arranged marriage, forced marriage and acid throwing I feel so sad and angry at the same time. Thank you for reminding us of such an important issue.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hi Bill! I can understand your views. :) Thank you.

      Love from the sky~

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Dear Jackie,

      Thank you for reading and leaving such engaging comments. It's sad that these things are happening around us. I believed it is not the culture but the mentality of these men and the support they get instead of being punished. You're right, hard to look at. Take care now.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      rdsparrowriter: Terrible enough to hear it from the news and read about it much more if you personally know someone who suffered from the hands of these attackers. I agree and as I said in the hub, some arranged marriage succeeds and hence, it is in the mentality of the people but then again, I still don't agree on arranged marriage. Thank you for stopping by and for leaving such engaging comments. Cheers!

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      DDE: Hello and thank you for coming by. Likewise here.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hi Faith, thank you. It is indeed, very disturbing but not everyone is aware that this is actually happening in the world and I hope to create awareness by hubbing about it. The culture/tradition maybe acceptable for them but it is absolutely wrong.

      Hope all is well with you in your part of the world. Love from the sky~

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I'd back you up on that Jodah. The law makers should emphasize the enormity of this crime and implement a much tougher punishment. I pity the poor helpless women in this case. Thank you for reading and voting up. That means a lot.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Hi Janet! I know, I feel the same way. Thank you for reading and commenting. Always good to see you around HP.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Cristina, we are lucky to live in Coutries where this isn't the norm. Kudos to all women!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 2 years ago from Taos, NM

      Brave of you to write this important hub. The photos of the defaced women are difficult to look at. The men who do this should be imprisoned for life, just as the woman is. I can't believe what is going on in India today with the rapes, gang rapes and acid throwing men. I can't believe how controlling some societies want to be. This is disgraceful! I have no respect for this culture if this is what they believe.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

      I hate to say that after reading this my anger makes me inclined to agree with the tit for tat law. These criminals deserve nothing less than an acid bath themselves! Maybe later I will calm down and think it through. Great hub!

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

      It is absolutely horrible that there are people out there capable of such acts. I admit that it makes my blood boil over.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      So true Michelle and I am grateful for that. Thanks for stopping by.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      suzettenaples: Yes, that is the term-disgraceful, it is! Thank you for leaving such a great deal of comments on this very important issue.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Mel, Thank you. I don't blame you and it's hard to take it easy. This is serious as in serious.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      vkwok: Beyond comprehension. It's hard to understand how people could commit such a horrible crime yet it's real. They're sadly happening. I believed it's a combination of culture and the individual's mentality. Well, thank you for reading. I'll see you on the next hub stop.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      This makes me so upset. To be born female in some cultures is not the gift it should be because of the lack of self-determination. I am saddened for my sisters worldwide who must face violence and have their human rights stripped from them.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      FlourishAnyway: Thank you for reading. It is sad indeed that this is happening in some parts of the world. We're lucky to have been born in a much better place on earth. Enjoy your freedom. ~

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Acid throwing is horrific. There is no excuse for this whatsoever. Anywhere. It upsets me deeply to know that this is being done with little or o consequences for the perpetrators. A shameful, repugnant chapter in the human condition.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Your background on cultural traditions is interesting. I find the acid throwing a horrible practice and it should be abolished.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Tradition is sad and outdated. It would be so nice to see everyone have equal rights. It certainly is about time.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Genna East: Thank you for reading. Acid throwing is indeed horrific and perpetrators should be punished. Period.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      teaches12345: Thank you. I am with you all the way that acid throwing is a horrible practice and it should be abolished. I will never understand what's in the mind of those crazy perpetrators. Peace~

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      aviannovice: Hi Deb! Yes, that's it...equal rights and it's about time. Thanks for reading. I'll see you in the next hub stop. Been out of town collaborating with nature. Hope you're enjoying your summer.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 2 years ago from Singapore

      Passing this on, Cristina!

    • Nyamache profile image

      Joshua Nyamache 2 years ago from Kenya

      This is really cruel. How can father do this to his own daughter! We now live in the modern world, some customs and traditional should be done away especially the ones that lead to oppression and abuse of human rights. The governments and society should do something about arranged marriages, ensure that couples marry willingly… as a matter of heart.

    • truthfornow profile image

      truthfornow 2 years ago from New Orleans, LA

      Your picture of the handcuffed couple attracted me to read. It seems like there should be the harshest punishments for acid attacks, because they seem to be all too common. We should all have the right to say no because forcing someone into an intimate relationship with another is rape. Acid attacks are so scary and rob women of the right to say no. How many women across the world have just accepted the forced arrangement for fear of such an attack?

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Thank you Michelle. :)

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Nyamache: It is indeed a matter of the heart and yes, we should leave it at that. Thank you for your comments.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      truthfornow: Thank you for reading and adding value to this hub by commenting. Your feedback is highly appreciated. Let's enjoy our freedom. *hub hugs*

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      Acid attacks are horrific and victims never regain their confidence or their original features. It is really sad when women are forced into marriages they do not agree with. Sad that such things keep happening.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Vellur: Thank you for reading. Sad, indeed and it should stop now!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Oh this made me cry--why are we so cruel?

    • DealForALiving profile image

      Sam Deal 2 years ago from Earth

      People can be so horrific sometimes, and especially in cultures where women are not valued. We really need to protect our own cultures and make sure that all life is valued equally.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Audrey: Sad indeed, eh? Thank you for reading. I appreciate how you feel about it.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      DealForALiving: Thank you for your feedback. I value your opinion.

    • delia-delia profile image

      Delia 2 years ago

      Incomprehensible! I have no words to express my anger...only pity that a man can not accept rejection without revenge....why are women treated inhumanly? So sad indeed.

    • CrisSp profile image
      Author

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      delia-delia: It is indeed sad. I was appalled to know that this is happening in the world for real and I hope to spread awareness when I wrote about it. Thank you for reading and commenting. You surely added value to the topic.

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