ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

When the People We Love Betray Us

Updated on May 1, 2017
When tear drops fall
When tear drops fall | Source

Betrayal is Not a Happy Time

I always thought best friends or loved ones were supposed to be there for you no matter what but then I came to realize over my lifetime how many true friends that I had and the number shocked me because it was none.

Every single friend who had made claim to be my best friend, had betrayed me in some way and the one that hurt the most was someone who stopped talking to me over something so trivial. I now knew I didn't need friends any longer to get on with life.

The only thing that it has given me is no one to worry about except my husband, children, and pets and you know what it feels pretty darn good. So why do people want to be your friends and then turn around and stab you in the back anyway? I think everyone has their own agenda in life and when it doesn't do anything for them then they can walk away like nothing ever happened.

Of course it hurts and it bites hard but when all is said and done what is it we really need friends for? Some say they will be there for you when no one else will but I have found out the hard way that is not true either.

The old song "Friends how many of us have them" was one fine song.

People if you can't be a good and loving friend and you can't be trusted then don't hurt others because you don't know what true friendship is.


Why Do People Betray Those They Love?

Love relationships are based on the mirror of ourselves. We learn over time how loveable we really are. Love is a feeling but it can become a weapon if given the chance.

Over time feelings change and intentions change. You can be happily married for 20 years and then find yourself cheating. Not only is this hurtful but deceitful.

According to Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC sometimes people are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued.

It Really Hurts to be Betrayed

How to Mend a Broken Relationship

The first thing you need to do before trying to mend a relationship from betrayal is to determine if it is worth saving. If you can not longer trust that person even after you say you forgive them, then you might as well part ways.

First you must get in tune with your inner self and the inner self of the person who hurt you. Don't have any expectations when you decide to talk about it. Listen to each other completely without interruption.

Sometimes you have to initiate the discussion. The person may feel you will never forgive them so why bother. Don't come to argue or accuse, blame or shame. Just have compassion. Yes that's right compassion. You may be saying why should I have compassion for someone who betrayed me. Well my answer is be compassionate so that the dialogue will go smoothly. It may not have been intentional and you never want to assume it was.

You must be willing to show that you are all in for saving the relationship. You surely don't want to fight when both of you are already hurting.

Both of you need to express what you want from the relationship. Make your intentions known so there is no surprise down the road. You can't have sloppy intentions and expect to save the relationship.

Let them know how much you care about them. It may be hard when you are filled with resentment and hurt.

If you are the reason for the betrayal own it. Don't make excuses why you did it. Find a way to own your mistake and make the person you hurt understand. They may not believe you but that is when you have to evaluate the relationship and see if it can be saved.

Don't be afraid to get a third party involved and I am not talking about someone who will agree with only you. Make an appointment to see a therapist and both parties attend. You have to be honest in how you feel. Holding back will only lead to bigger problems down the road.

If all else fails then you go your separate ways. It may be painful and not what either of you really wanted but sometimes you just have to end a relationship and move on with your life.

If you decide to move on, don't dwell on it. I have lost many friends and some that hurt really bad, but I was better then to roll around in self pity. I found things to do with my time. Caught up on some reading, writing, favorite TV shows. Its not the end of the world and this too shall pass.

Betrayal (the trailer)


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)