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When the People We Love Betray Us

Updated on May 1, 2017
When tear drops fall
When tear drops fall | Source

Betrayal is Not a Happy Time

I always thought best friends or loved ones were supposed to be there for you no matter what but then I came to realize over my lifetime how many true friends that I had and the number shocked me because it was none.

Every single friend who had made claim to be my best friend, had betrayed me in some way and the one that hurt the most was someone who stopped talking to me over something so trivial. I now knew I didn't need friends any longer to get on with life.

The only thing that it has given me is no one to worry about except my husband, children, and pets and you know what it feels pretty darn good. So why do people want to be your friends and then turn around and stab you in the back anyway? I think everyone has their own agenda in life and when it doesn't do anything for them then they can walk away like nothing ever happened.

Of course it hurts and it bites hard but when all is said and done what is it we really need friends for? Some say they will be there for you when no one else will but I have found out the hard way that is not true either.

The old song "Friends how many of us have them" was one fine song.

People if you can't be a good and loving friend and you can't be trusted then don't hurt others because you don't know what true friendship is.

Pieces

Why Do People Betray Those They Love?

Love relationships are based on the mirror of ourselves. We learn over time how loveable we really are. Love is a feeling but it can become a weapon if given the chance.

Over time feelings change and intentions change. You can be happily married for 20 years and then find yourself cheating. Not only is this hurtful but deceitful.

According to Krystal Kuehn, MA, LPC sometimes people are very deliberate and intended to hurt the other person. And sometimes they are consequences of choices that are made with no intention of doing any harm to anyone. Looking out for one’s own best interests can cause some people to disregard relationships they once valued.

It Really Hurts to be Betrayed

How to Mend a Broken Relationship

The first thing you need to do before trying to mend a relationship from betrayal is to determine if it is worth saving. If you can not longer trust that person even after you say you forgive them, then you might as well part ways.

First you must get in tune with your inner self and the inner self of the person who hurt you. Don't have any expectations when you decide to talk about it. Listen to each other completely without interruption.

Sometimes you have to initiate the discussion. The person may feel you will never forgive them so why bother. Don't come to argue or accuse, blame or shame. Just have compassion. Yes that's right compassion. You may be saying why should I have compassion for someone who betrayed me. Well my answer is be compassionate so that the dialogue will go smoothly. It may not have been intentional and you never want to assume it was.

You must be willing to show that you are all in for saving the relationship. You surely don't want to fight when both of you are already hurting.

Both of you need to express what you want from the relationship. Make your intentions known so there is no surprise down the road. You can't have sloppy intentions and expect to save the relationship.

Let them know how much you care about them. It may be hard when you are filled with resentment and hurt.

If you are the reason for the betrayal own it. Don't make excuses why you did it. Find a way to own your mistake and make the person you hurt understand. They may not believe you but that is when you have to evaluate the relationship and see if it can be saved.

Don't be afraid to get a third party involved and I am not talking about someone who will agree with only you. Make an appointment to see a therapist and both parties attend. You have to be honest in how you feel. Holding back will only lead to bigger problems down the road.

If all else fails then you go your separate ways. It may be painful and not what either of you really wanted but sometimes you just have to end a relationship and move on with your life.

If you decide to move on, don't dwell on it. I have lost many friends and some that hurt really bad, but I was better then to roll around in self pity. I found things to do with my time. Caught up on some reading, writing, favorite TV shows. Its not the end of the world and this too shall pass.

Betrayal (the trailer)

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    • Author Cheryl profile imageAUTHOR

      Cheryl A Whitsett 

      6 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      Well that is sad. They were not your friends to begin with

    • profile image

      GallyGal 

      6 years ago

      I live in Malaysia, KK, where celebrities seldom comes. Greyson Chance came before, but I wasn't in town to catch his concert. Then, there was a Pixie Lott concert, and my 'friends" called a radio station and got four tickets, and they didn't even tell me about it until the last day. One of my "friends" said that she'll give me her autograph, BUT I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING! And now they are ignoring me on Facebook. And now, I know who my real friends are.

    • profile image

      Mynarne 

      6 years ago

      People who have professed to be my friend over the years have never ceased to amaze me by their betrayal.

      I have no real friends, although I know they count me as one because I listen and I entertain them with anecdotes and stories! I never judge, interfere or pester. What a pity there is no reciprocation!

    • profile image

      brandee 

      6 years ago

      she thought i was never going to have any friends so she pretended to be my friend for half a school year.

    • Author Cheryl profile imageAUTHOR

      Cheryl A Whitsett 

      7 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      Amen Girl I agree with that one. I have come this far in my life because of me and will continue to be at the top until I choose to come down. Where I am is because of me and no one else of course except the good Lord above.

    • profile image

      reeltaulk 

      7 years ago

      This is the question of the hour, people usually "want to be your friend" if you've peeked their interest in anyway. They need to get close enough to gain a level of trust from you. To find out what you know, what you own, what you possess and "what's your plans". Most of the time this is because more than likely they envy you, or maybe even want to be you and the most repulsive one of them all is, some of them even want to take what you have as well as possess (like that's actually possible) because they probably hate themselves and their too dumb to realize everyone possesses something it's all a matter of earning and deserving it. These types don't understand the power of friendship as well as the power of Karma. A good person will always encounter negative individuals to be tested (both parties) I remember someone told me to my face all of the above that I mentioned. I mean who really believes they can take in an instant what you have earned for YOUR life time. It's not only pathetic but sad. Like you said, you only have your children and husband to worry about and be thankful that you have that, because at the end of the day you were smart not to put trash before what is important as well as priority!

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