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Blood on the Diamond

Updated on May 14, 2016

A Short Introduction

I can't help but feel as if I'm writing this for someone special. I may not know your name. I may have never met you, but you feel your life is useless and worthless. You feel so alone without any hope. You're ready to end it all.

You've asked yourself many times, "What is the answer?" "Why am I such a failure?" "Why am I so alone?" " Is suicide the solution?" "Won't somebody please fight for me?"

Please don't do anything until you've read this. I'm reaching out to you. If you need to talk, you can reach me through HubPages.

I Remember Dan

The following is a story about a boy I knew in high school. Names have been changed. Certain circumstances have been changed, but the story is still the same - death by suicide. I did not know Dan well, but the events of that late spring afternoon will be in many a memory for a lifetime.

Dan , a senior in high school, had just fathered a child. Not like so many others, he wanted to have a hand in raising his child, even though he was only a child himself. Problems between Dan and his girlfriend apparently escalated over a period of time, but at last Dan was excluded from seeing his son. Whatever the circumstances it all came down to one fateful, last drive.

I believe it was on a Friday before the weekend, I got the news. It was after school, Dan chose to take his own life, but in a way that demonstrated not only his anger and passion, but also his hatred for his own life.

His Plan

it seems that often a plan is put in place before suicide is attempted .It is thought much about and thought through before the attempt is made. Suicide is a last chance for hope and happiness once all hope and happiness has run out.

What Dan was going through; what he was experiencing I'll never know, but he had a plan. I don't believe it was a spur of the moment decision.

Dan lived on a street that ran west to east. At the eastern end of the street it intersected with a north-south boulevard. A cliff lined the east side of the boulevard, but a guard rail was in place to protect cars from veering over the edge. At the bottom of the cliff, about 100 feet below lay a baseball field


On that afternoon a squeal of tires was heard by those close by, and then a terrible crash. Dan floored his Trans Am and headed east through the usually quiet residential neighborhood. At the end of the street one can only make a right or left turn after coming to a stop sign. Dan's Trans Am flew through the intersection and through the guard rails; The wreckage came to rest on the infield. The car sliced by the cables lay in pieces. Blood covered the infield diamond.

To the north of the baseball stadium was a steep hill that led to the wealthier part of town. I pushed to the top and looked down on the wreckage below. I could only wonder why this had happened.


There is Hope!

You may feel suicide is the only answer to life's woes. People hurt. People have problems. Circumstances get out of control, but there is honestly a bunch of hope..The one contemplating suicide usually feels alone and depressed. What they so desperately need is what so often they so desperately avoid. Please, if you're hurting in any way -please get in touch with me.

Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear, and an empathetic heart. .People need people. We were created with the built-in need for love, acceptance, and respect. When those needs are not met, we may feel empty, worthless, and useless. We tend to withdraw from the very people we need for support. Trust is hard to come by,and others may let you down, but your life is not in the hands of others. They have their own problems.

A Fish in a Bird Nest

Often we humans live like a fish in a bird nest. A fish was never meant to live in a bird nest, and when left in a bird nest it will suffer and die. On the other hand, the bird was never meant to live under water. If I were to tie a rock around a bird's neck and toss him in the river, he would surely suffer and die.

Regardless of what one believes or perceives, we were never meant to live without God. People may reject you, but God never will. People may let you down, but God never will. You may feel worthless, but you were created to live for your Creator. Just as the bird was meant to live in the air, and the fish in the stream, so you were created to live in God's sphere; in His presence.

You may ask, "What did God ever do for me?" He kept you until now - in spite of circumstances; in spite of rejection and emotional pain; in spite of others; in spite of yourself. He still has a plan and a purpose for you.

God made a way for you to be reunited to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus spent much of His time alone, not accepted by many. He was betrayed by one of His very best friends. He brought shame and embarrassment to his family. He knows you. He understands where you are coming from, for in one way or another He has walked the path before you. He was a man of sorrows, mocked and ridiculed. Then he spilled His life's blood so that you might live.

It was His sacrifice that paved the way for your freedom today. He came, lived, died, and resurrected so that you might have peace. He allowed you to get to this point so that you might find Him. But that won't happen until you turn your life over to Him. He wants to guide you into all truth and peace. He truly is a life changer.

You ask,"How do you know? What makes you so sure?"

Because I too have walked the suicide path. I've stood at the edge and looked down a dark, lonely hall leading to the corridor of death. I saw a light, a glimmer of hope. I grabbed on, and wouldn't let go. The Light - His name was Jesus.

Is life easy? We both know it isn't, but we don't have to walk it alone. Jesus never promised to lead you around troubles, but to go through the troubles with you. Please choose life. Don't give up the fight. There really is a light at the end of the road if we look for it.

Need someone to talk to?

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Please Watch the Videos

Before you leave this page, please watch the videos. There is hope.Hope is offered.Help is offered. Please rethink what you were about to do.

Rascal Flatts - Why

The Edge - Michael Card

Hold On - Twila Paris

Suicide is on the Rise

According to, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in America. This translates to 42,773 deaths in 2013. The seating capacity for Wrigley Field in Chicago is 42,495. The suicide death for one year would fill a baseball stadium. The next time you see your favorite team play to a full house, remember that that many suicides occur in America in one year.


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    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Hi Tammy,

      It has to be a pretty dark place for someone to choose their own death. It is totally against our very being, but it happens way too often - been there, done that, and the Lord's grace has kept me here to show me all the blessings I would have missed if I had ended my life years ago. His grace truly is sufficient for our hour of need. I do pray this may have helped someone in their hour. Thanks for stopping by!

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks Lawrence. I hope it does too.

    • Tamarajo profile image


      3 years ago

      Encouraging read Bill, to a discouraging problem. We have had a couple of suicides this year in our area. One I knew and was so perplexed that this seemingly happy person found himself in such a moment of misery to do such a thing.

      The video on facts was very interesting especially the part about that those who survived a jump had a change of heart in the middle of it.

      I loved your bird and fish environment analogy is a good one and so true. God breathes LIFE into us in with ways and solutions we could have never imagined on our own.

      I hope and pray the read reaches the one or many who need to hear it

      God bless!

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand


      I've never been in this situation, but I've known people who were in 'that dark tunnel!' This was a great outreach to them and I pray it will find those whom God wants it to find.



    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Hi Bill,

      It's hard to believe Eleanor Rigby was written fifty years ago. If it was bad in the sixties, it's even worse in the new millennium. Still help is out there if we would only reach out, and those in need would reach back, Hope they do. Thanks for the visit, my friend!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      There is so much pain out there....I am always reminded of Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles...."all the lonely people, where do they all come from?" Hopefully this will reach the person it needs to reach.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks, John. I believe it was meant for a purpose even if I may never know what it is this side of Heaven.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What a valuable and worthwhile hub, Bill. I commend you on sharing this story and hope this hub reaches those who need it most.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thank for the prayer, RTalloni . Only eternity will reveal the results of your efforts. God is faithful!

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      You said it well, Faith. And we're all on an even plane. God loves all people - no matter whee we've been or what we've done. His love is unconditional - so unlike human love. Thanks for stopping by and reading, and especially for the comment!

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks Lori, for the direction. I added both.

    • RTalloni profile image


      3 years ago from the short journey

      Praying with you for those in need.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      3 years ago from southern USA


      This is an important topic here and you've written it so well. I do hope many read this and know there is always hope no matter how deep into that dark valley one may go, if we look up to God and allow His light (son) to shine His love right into our hearts, then tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. He came so that all may have life and have it to the full.

      God bless you

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      Thank you Bill. Someone may be helped here. I would add the link for the national suicide crisis line. Either the number itself or a link.

    • lifegate profile imageAUTHOR

      William Kovacic 

      3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Thanks MsDora. It's the prayer not the article that will make the difference in someone's life. As always, I'm glad to hear from you!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Bill, this is very touching. I pray with you that the reader who needs this will find it and find hope. May God bless your obedient heart!


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