ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Health»
  • Quality of Life & Wellness»
  • Personal Development

Suicide: Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep....A Moment With Bill Reflection

Updated on December 10, 2013

The Cold Hard Facts

There are approximately 35,000 suicides in the United States each year. Worldwide the number approaches one million. Still, in a world with 7.2 billion people, a fairly insignificant number.

Tell that to the families who are left behind.

For every suicide that is successful there are eleven that are not.

Suicide is the 7th leading cause of death for males; it is the fifteenth leading cause for women.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15 and 24.

The highest rate of suicide belongs to the Native Americans of the United States, followed closely by non-Hispanic whites.

The three leading methods of suicide are firearms, suffocation and poisoning.

In the time it took you to read this far, someone took their life in the U.S.

Another family left behind.

The gathering gloom
The gathering gloom | Source

A Short, Personal Reflection

No, I have not had someone I love commit suicide. I have, however, known five people over the span of my life who have killed themselves. I can still see their faces in my mind’s eye. I can still hear their laughter. I can still remember their families and fondly recall shared moments, and I vividly remember the feeling of emptiness when I heard what they had done.

We shared time on this Earth together. They touched me. I touched them. They were human beings and as such deserve compassion, and hopefully they will be remembered fondly for the lives they lived rather than for the way they died.

This, then, is my loving tribute to suicide victims and their families.

From the Darkness to the Light

“Now I lay me down to sleep;

I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake.
I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to take;
And this I ask for Jesus' sake. Amen.”

I know one damn thing, kids aren’t born wanting to die. Take that to the bank and deposit it with your bonds and stocks and Aunt Martha’s diamond necklace; that’s a fact, Jack, a truth for the Ages. We are born with silly-ass grins, laughing and pooping and hugging and loving, and there is no way that bundle of hope and giddiness is giving even a brief thought to shooting a bullet into his/her brain pan.

We crawl, we climb, we run and we fall, the delicate dance of childhood, and when the day is done we are tucked in by our loving parents and we say the prayer now I lay me down to sleep with our eyes shut tight and our little hands in prayer position, and all is right with our worlds.

The summer suns kiss our bodies, and the gentle snowflakes tantalize our tongues, and stretching before us is a wonderland of opportunities and dreams and unlimited possibilities, to dream, perchance, and make those dreams come true….that’s what it is like after the short trip down the birth canal and the majestic moment when another life is born, another living being steps onto the world’s stage and reaches for the brass ring of life and all it entails.

And the years go by and the summer sun begins to lose its warmth, and the snowflakes savage with their cold, and that brilliant light we once saw has dimmed.

And we go to bed not so in awe but still clinging to hope, for with hope there is….a reason to keep moving forward.

Now I lay me down to sleep…..

So many opportunities to reach out
So many opportunities to reach out | Source

Clouds Move in Slowly

There are days you simply cannot get warm. Where is that sun? Where are those days of life-affirming warmth? Where did they go? And you wrap yourself in Polar Fleece, wool blankets, false gods of alcohol or drugs or manic sex, anything to recall that feeling of golden slumber and safety, but no matter what you do those days come, those life-sapping days come, when you can’t remember happy. You can’t remember that state of being where the smiles flowed freely, and you look in the mirror and all you see is darkness, darkness, be my pillow, and you long for a smile, long for a laugh, but no matter how long you look in that mirror you cannot find it…..where did it go….why did it go…..

Your friends, your family, they have no clue. You are the award-winning actor upon the stage of life, playing your part, the good son, the good daughter, the loving husband, work hard, play hard, keep up the illusion of “all is well in my world” all the while you are being devoured from the inside out by the cannibalistic creatures of self-loathing and self-hate.

No worries, mate, it ain’t that bad, hang on tight, grab your ass, weather the storm and keep strapping on some balls, there’s nothing wrong with you that a little more booze or drugs or eating or just plain growing up won’t cure. Remember the old war song….pack up your troubles in an old bag and smile, smile and smile, so you smile your ass off and you play the role of a lifetime and Lord how your audience loves you, take a bow, fine job, fine job, just bobbin’ for apples in the game of life and feeling those slippery bastards always slip away.

And at the end of the day you lay me down to sleep and try to remember when the last day was when you were truly happy…..when was that….when could that have been…..

A Storm Is A’risin

No stopping those clouds now; dark, rolling, churning, blanketed over the sun and blotting out all hopes of light, a bad moon rising behind that obsidian darkness. The actor has become the character and the character, the actor, and the final scene is about to begin.

A thousand-pound gorilla is sitting on your chest, your heart straining to beat, to beat, but the beat is growing fainter and the will to live slowly fading. The voices keep speaking to you but only you can hear them….you’re not good…what’s the point….why go on….nobody gives a damn about you….and you scream for help….SOMEBODY HEAR ME…but ears do not hear and eyes do not see that which should be so obvious, for that little child, the one who giggled and played with abandon so many years ago, that little child has come to the end of the proverbial rope.

And now I lay me down to sleep. Embrace it, become one with it, it will not harm you, it will not judge you, it will not give you anything other than the comfort you so desperately need.

So close your eyes, and breathe deep the gathering gloom, for you are going home, finding peace, and finally, finally, muting those voices once and for all.

Making a difference one person at a time
Making a difference one person at a time | Source

Reach out to Someone

I wish I had all the answers, but I am only a writer. I can write about suicide but I cannot end it. I can write about loneliness and abject emptiness but I am powerless to present a solution. Where is the cure? What magical pill can I offer to those who find no meaning in life? How can I peer inside of their brains and hearts and prevent this from happening once again?

I am only a writer….but I am also a human being…. As you all are. Reach out today! Stretch your hands across the chasm of emptiness and show someone you care. You see, I believe in kindness. I believe in the power of compassion. I believe that making a difference in this world begins with me, and if, by some miraculous convergence of factors I do reach out at exactly the right time to exactly the right person, perhaps I can prevent the needless taking of one life. Perhaps I can share some of the sunlight in my life and overcome the darkness in another.

Perhaps!

Just something to think about as you lay yourselves down to sleep tonight.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

“Making a difference one person at a time.”

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, thank you so much. I was quite nervous about writing on this subject, but I think it is very important that it be spoken about.

      It is time for me to visit you so here I come. :)

      blessings always

      bill

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Bill, your words flow ever so gently over this delicate subject. People become scared and hush the subject. "Now I lay me down to sleep" is in the minds of the desolate. Your words speak hope to them. I have two cousins who performed the act. May this hub and comments act as a prayer from all of us to them to wake up and not sleep. Blessings. Audrey. Pinned and shared.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, I think it is the saddest of all deaths. It leaves far too many questions left unanswered for the survivors, and far too much guilt.

      Thank you for your thoughts and for all the visits this morning.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      I have know several people who have decided on a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Lots of young kids--whose brains are not fully developed look at it as a way out...They won't be around to enjoy the attention...We all have issues and problems and many get solved and others we learn to live with. I am always sad to hear about another. It has become a glaring fact of life...I know two people who killed each other in a suicide pact..lack of money, some health issues....why?

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      mathira, thank you kind lady. This was not an easy article to write but I'm happy that I did.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      billy, right from the heart. A very tough and sensitive subject to write about. The impact of your hub was intense. You are right, suicide can never be the answer to any problem. Extremely well written.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lance, no reason to apologize for the ramble. I encourage discussions on this. I have no words for your situation....I have not lived your life....and I refuse to say something trite. I just hope one day that you find happiness and the love you seek. Thank you so much for sharing your story. One day at a time....try to find happiness one day and then build on it.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good morning MIchael my friend. No, this is not a pleasant subject; it is a very difficult subject to write about and talk about....but it is necessary. As you said, life is precious. I want to help one person. I am not a crusader, Michael; I am just a human being who wants to help others. That is all. :)

      blessings to you my friend; thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dianna, if this helps one person then it was worth writing....how wonderful would that be, if one person changed their mind because of this article and wanted to live? Thank you!

    • profile image

      Lance 3 years ago

      I've been depressed most of my life and have attempted suicide twice. Once by slashing my wrists when I was 17 and later in college with sleeping pills. A lot of it has to do with being gay and having an abusive father. My childhood home was very violent with my parents and brother arguing nonstop. My mother always wanted a daughter and treated me like one by dressing me up as a girl and giving me dolls to play with. My dad was physically and mentally abusive with me so I never had a loving male role model. I've become a sex addict with over 100's of sex partners getting riskier all the time . I don't have AIDS but I think a lot of gay men just don't care anymore and have multiple desires of dying, being accepted, loved , and left alone. I'm sure gays comprise a high percentage of suicides as well.

      On the bright side, I have managed to get a PhD and am employed with a stable job now but I'm still alone and it's hard to communicate my interpersonal relationship problems.

      Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I stumbled on your hub somehow. Have to sleep now .... More grey skies in Seattle this week.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Good evening Bill, it's getting late, and a sleep isn't coming after reading the suicide related contents.

      You already know this ; Besides being an excellent writer you are also a brave one taking challenge to write on suicide subject. This is very difficult one. Due to life's sacredness suicide is considered most barbarous inhuman crime, an involuntary unnecessary taking own life thus affecting host of human beings . Once a person let the thought into the mind, the spiritual oppressive force ( in my vocabulary demonic ) continues with suggestion of beauty and uniqueness of ending own life.

      You yourself and most of the commenters have memory someone's suicide which only confirms it's spiritual reality staying with us for rest of our lives. As a young teenager I've witnessing just a few feet from me a young woman putting her neck on railroad track in from upcoming train. I still remember seeing severed head with open mouth and moving tongue.

      And a reason for killing herself ? - broken relationship. Being close to couple more suicides, I have learn how little careless " seed" for " ending it all" blocks the mind for a second when a person seizes a moment or if not now, a stronghold of death leaves...

      You have suggestion of a " cure " and in your " wish to have an answer" you're providing in several suggestions what each one of us can do in conversation and suggestion on the subject with our friends and relatives. It's not the most pleasant theme to talk about, I know of first hand, but it's worth and necessary. The life is the most precious commodity in everyone's possession and is beautiful.

      Voted up, awesome, beautiful and interesting .

      May your week be fill with joy and happiness. Merry Christmas to you and yours . With genuine love, Michael.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      I have dealt with suicidal people throughout my lifetime and it is always such a tremendous battle to help someone come from darkness into the light. Most recently, one of my students wanted to call it quits because of her family problems and being homeless. I love your thoughts on this topic and how you encourage others to believe in themselves and to hope for a better tomorrow. I love the video "Angel", very comforting. God bless you, Bill, for helping others to see the light.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      drbj, for me, the grief is for the families. We all die...but suicide leaves too many unanswered questions and a boat load of guilt....and it is avoidable....we all need to raise awareness my friend.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Powerful, powerful writing, Bill, about a problem that humanity with all its great brains and intelligence does not know how to solve. I grieve not only for those who take their own lives but the families and friends they leave behind them.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Availiasvision, you stated it all beautifully. Yes, you may beg to say that 90% of this originates in the home. So many of our societal problems begin at home. I don't know what the answer is, but I know love has to be missing in many of these situations.

      Thank you so much for a very thoughtful comment, and thank you also for your very kind words.

      blessings to you always

      bill

    • Availiasvision profile image

      Jennifer Arnett 3 years ago from California

      Bill,

      What a thoughtful and compelling message you present. What makes suicide so devastating is the pain of those left behind. They will never find the answers they seek, especially when questioning why and if they could have stopped it. The not knowing must be intensely painful.

      I like what you said about people being born into this world not wanting to die. As humans, we generally have a drive to survive. Our bodies are made to be resilient, to fight when push comes to shove. It is unnatural to desire to die. What do I know, I'm just a lowly writer as well, but I have a felling that no one actually wants to die, they just want to escape whatever they are going through. They get to a point of utter hopelessness, where death is more appealing than earthly pain.

      In regards to teens and their exponentially high rate of suicide, I think they are in a particularly difficult place because they cannot escape their situation. If abuse, violence, or stress is occurring in the home, they can't just drive away and cool off for a few days. If bullying is happening at school, they can't just pick up and leave for a new town.

      Can I beg to say that 90% of the problem originates in the home. Kids from good families where they feel loved, protected, and hopeful about the future, do not naturally want to die; they have no burden to escape. Look at the prisoners on death row, look at the kids bringing weapons to school, or the junior highers in drug rehab programs, I can almost guarantee you that they have suffered in their young lives at someone else's hand. Domestic violence, sexual abuse, alcoholism, substance abuse, gang violence, these are the issues we must address. These kids don't want to die, they just want others to stop hurting them.

      Maybe being a guiding light and mentor to a kid from a broken home, or being the teacher who notices and tells the authorities about repetitive bruises on a kid's arm, or the neighbor who hears the cries of the hurting spouse and calls 911, is enough to make a small dent in the 35,000. No action is too small.

      Bill, you are a gift to us all. Please keep spreading your light. This dark world needs it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, I have no answers. I do understand suicide having considered it at one time. Even to consider it means living in a blackness unknown by most...so I understand it, but at the same time it infuriates me so much....I just love life too much, PS, and I think everyone else should too...unreasonable for sure but it's how I feel.

      Thank you for who you are....and I so proud to be your friend.

      blessings always

      bill

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      O my....

      It is especially troubling when the life is one that was so closely intertwined with your own. One day to wake up and find that the lovely life is gone, bam, just like that shakes you to your core....and the journey out of the sadness begins...

      Knowing someone who holds so much promise has tried and tried to end the torment of whatever demons haunted that person finally accomplishes it is daunting to put it mildly.

      And even though I can say I understand at the same time my mind is reeling and I think and scream....why??????????? Even though I know why.

      And I get d*** mad and shake my head and ask how could you do this to my loved ones?? And no answers come . So in these past few months I have forced myself to come to terms with the loss and to focus on the goodness of the moments that this loved one walked the planet.

      Thank you for sharing these well chosen words ...sometimes, sadly, reaching out is NOT enough...sometimes the sadness and the demons are not about us at all. And, O how I wish that were not true.

      to you my friend feel the Angels this morning...and to all who are engulfed in sadness and feel despondent....Angels surround you, as well..

      hugs and blessings. ps

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Peg, thank you so much, and thank you for sharing your own experience. I think it is so important that people open up and discuss things like this....who knows if we might be able to save someone simply by saying we care and we understand?

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Beautifully expressed on such a tough subject to tackle. It is not too difficult to understand the despair and hopelessness one feels at certain points of our lives. I've known several people who took their own lives including a boss and a boyfriend, even coming quite close myself. You've covered both the basic reasons for and senselessness of the act along with the tragic effect on those who remain behind.

      We can never know the true impact that our small act of kindness may have on such a person as they approach this dark and slippery area. Sometimes just a kind word or a smile or thoughtful gesture like letting someone go ahead of you at the grocery store can positively impact those in this sad and lonely place.

      Thanks for this important piece and for these words you've penned.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are very welcome, Pro-Hubber. Thank you!

    • Pro-Hubber profile image

      Pro-Hubber 3 years ago from Florida

      very interesting and informative hub. Thank you Bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bobbi, you will always have an open forum on my hubs. I'm so glad you chose to "talk so much" about this subject, and you expressed yourself beautifully. Thank you for your words and thoughts.

      bill

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 3 years ago from Florida

      Bill,

      I voted up +++ because of the brilliant and gentle way you wrote about a “Religious Taboo” subject.

      Growing up in the South in a Southern Baptist Church; I remember my Mother whispering with her friends and my Daddy about the father of a boy in my glass who committed suicide. This has weighted on my heart for many years.

      So it needs to be talked about---not whispered about and hidden away from the light of truth. We need to reach out and help anyone who needs and accepts our help. You should receive an award for this hub---it should be honored for bringing a dark subject into the light of day.

      Life can hurt deeply and people become depressed. And, if they do not have anyone who cares about them---then the spiraling into the abyss of deep depression begins.

      Awareness and knowledge of this subject should be if not already taught in schools as “Suicide Prevention” to help nip it in the bud.

      Sorry for talking so much.

      Bobbi Purvis

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, what a great story and happy ending. Fantastic example of what this hub is all about. It takes so little effort to make a difference in someone's life. Thank you for sharing that.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I remember about 15 years ago a friend of mine told me he was seriously contemplating suicide, but because of our friendship he no longer had the desire too. I was blindsided. I did not see that coming. He's now a grandpa of three boys and we are still best of friends even though he moved out of state. That moment made me realize how important it is to "listen" when someone speaks to you. You never know what someone is trying to tell you unless you "listen." Excellent hub Bill.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Daisy, what a powerful story and lesson there. How horrible to live with that guilt and have no way of releasing it....or at least thinking there was no way to release it. My goodness I ache for people like that. Thank you for the visit and for sharing that experience with us.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Gail, I have not heard that but it does not surprise me at all. Shameful to say the least. Thank you for mentioning that.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kathryn, thank you so much. This is one of those subjects that will remain in the closet unless we bring it out and discuss it. It affects so many people and we need to do everything we can to reach out....who knows, maybe we just might save someone, and wouldn't that be cool?

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 3 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Bill,

      Your writing is very powerful. Thanks for dealing with this difficult subject so beautifully.

      I'm impressed with your readers and the comments they contributed. I'm certain that both your words and those of the people who commented will help someone decide to not take that final step.

      When I was in high school, an acquaintance was in a serious car crash. He was driving and was injured, but not very badly. His passenger, a cousin, was killed. He could not deal with the fact that he survived, and she didn't. He took his own life. No one realized how deeply he was affected by the tragedy.

    • Gail Meyers profile image

      Gail Meyers 3 years ago from United States

      Bill, I was reading recently how many people are allegedly committing suicide as a result of workplace mobbing, gang stalking and the like. I love that Angel video and song!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      This is beautiful, my friend. I was just talking about this subject the other day (as a reflection on the past, not a current worry), and this hits me in the heart.

      I admire that you would write so openly and honestly, despite it not being a "liked" topic for certain crowds. It is a very important one, and I hope it helps others. I like your simple plea to reach out to someone. We may not be able to do much, but sometimes it is all that is needed to bring someone back into the light long enough for them to realize there are other solutions, and that life can get better.

      Voted up and across, and sharing.

      Have a great week.

      ~ Kathryn

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, words are useless when trying to comfort someone like you who has experienced this kind of loss. I am truly sorry. I know of the woman you speak....have corresponded with her on several occasions....all we can do is reach out. It is up to her to reach in return.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Paula, as you know, I've been there. The bottom is dark and yet inviting, and it is one small step from that to total peace....or so I thought. Thank the heavens there were people who would not allow it and brought me back. Thank you for sharing your thoughts....now let's live life the way it is supposed to be lived...balls out and with gusto!

      bill

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      This subject is very sensitive to me, Bill. My dearest mother took her own life. She was recuperating from major heart problems, and she didn't want to be a burden on me. I will never get over that experience. It's those people left behind that suffer and wonder what could we have done to prevent this???

      As you know, I am very concerned for a friend who is thinking of ending her life. She is desperate, and there is nothing I can do except encourage her to get help, and to let her know I love her and I want her to live.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bill.......Reading this very moving piece, has opened a huge file, tucked away in the back of my mind. Like you, I can only claim to have known victims of eventual suicide.....spoken with them....listened. I have not experienced a loss of such magnitude in a truly personal way. I can only imagine the heaviness and utter heartache of loved ones left behind, to question forever.....why? What could I have done? What did I not see?

      For any one, myself included, who has ever reached the lowest of levels of hell on earth, even for a moment...it is not much of a stretch to grasp how for some, they see not a single reason to hold on.......Can anything be worse? UP+++ pinned & tweeted.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kim, there is nothing else to add....serious subject for compassionate human beings. :)

      bill

    • profile image

      ocfireflies 3 years ago

      Bill,

      I have nothing profound to add.

      I like Jo's (tobusiness) idea: "so in the spirit of H.O.W let's hold out a hand to those in need before it's too late. "

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, the ripples always linger on for the survivors and that's what makes it so sad. Thank you for taking the time to read about an unpleasant subject. Blessings to you always.

      bill

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 3 years ago

      This is a very powerful and loving with a bit of humor creation here. It is quite the epidemic that as a society we come to such desperation as to take our life or the life of another. The ripples of this tragedy linger on.

      Beautifully written with such love in your words.

      Shared, Up ++++

      Hugs, Blessings to you my dear friend. :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, I find this the saddest of all deaths and one that is very avoidable....we just have to be aware and compassionate to those in our lives. Thank you for caring my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jordan, I appreciate it my friend, and welcome back to the group.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      writingowl, thank you for telling your experience. We are never helpless; I have to believe that. All we need is the loving hand of someone willing to help us. A hard path back to to travel but it can be traveled.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Randi, thank YOU for sharing your personal story. I am so very happy that your son is alright. Blessings to your family.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yes we must, Alicia; it is our responsibility as human beings. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Vellur...it is my hope that we save just one through this article.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      Unfortunately we have all been touched by suicide in one way or another. Violent, senseless suicide coupled with murder is the hardest to take. Love and understanding is the easiest to give. Prayer is the hope we can touch someone's life in time to make a difference.

      This is a deep, deep subject and one I don't think anyone really has the answer to. All we can do is hope and love and continue to share as you have here.

      Voted all but funny, and shared.

    • Jordanwalker39 profile image

      Jordanwalker39 3 years ago from GA

      Thank you for writing this informative piece. I didn't know that it was that bad. Will be sharing this. Thanks Bill.

    • thewritingowl profile image

      Mary Kelly Godley 3 years ago from Ireland

      From someone who has been depressed and in that dark place many times, you write about it brilliantly. You hit the nail on the head of how it feels and what is going on inside a person's head who has plummeted into that dark place. Like you say reaching out to this person and letting them know you understand or that others have felt this kind of pain too makes all the difference. Its impossible to see this when you are in the depths of despair but there is always a way back. Shared and voted up.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      This is such an important topic. There is no one who hasn't been touched by suicide, some a little closer than others. As a teacher of behavior disordered high school students, I wasn't a stranger to suicide but it still didn't prepareme for the attempts by my own child. My son tried twice and barely a day goes by that I'm not thankful that I still have this beautiful boy here with us. He fhas ought most of his demons, still struggles with some but has learned ways to work through his problems and is in a good place right now. Thank you for this well-written, thoughtful article.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      You've written about a very important topic, Bill. The ending is the most important part of all. We must reach out to others, especially those who are hurting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sue, you just quoted one of my favorite authors. The man is a legend in our household and I was so sorry to hear of his passing. Thank you my friend.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, thank you my friend. Not a pleasant subject but one I felt compelled to write about. I appreciate your kind words.

      love,

      bill

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      It is really very sad that people resort to suicide and end their precious lives. If only someone could have reached them in time to help them out, so many suicides could have been prevented. It is important to reach out. Great hub, voted up.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 3 years ago

      Hi Bill,

      Dr. Leo Busgalia came to mind when I was reading your hub. He started a Love class as a result of the suicide of one of his most talented students.

      "Don’t spend your precious time asking, ‘Why isn’t the world a better place?’ It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is ‘How can I make it better?’ To that there is an answer." - Leo Busgalia

      My friend you have made the world a better place by writing this article. I will do my part by sharing it.

      Voted up across the board

      Blessings

      Sue

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Powerful and timely, Bill. You style speaks directly to those who may have / have had even fleeting thoughts of suicide / self harm while teaching family and friends what to look out for.

      What a perfect and soul reaching song in Angel by Sarah you have selected.

      May you have a peaceful night. Love, Maria

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, thank you for sharing your experience with this sad topic. All I can do, or anyone can do, is be available and try to help those who need a friend or just need to talk. Many will reach out, but if we are not aware of the signs we might miss them and that would be tragic.

      Thank you my friend. Blessings always....

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Andy, thanks for some great thoughts. I, too, have heard that "selfish" line, and I can understand it; it is a horrible burden to leave to your family....but....someone that troubled cannot think in those terms. All they can think about is ending the pain. Yes my friend, a little empathy goes a long way.

    • fiftyish profile image

      Andy Aitch 3 years ago from UK & South East Asian Region

      Suicide is a sad affair, and those who have never had anything close to suicidal feelings often say that it is a selfish act. I can see where they're coming from with such a statement, but I also think a little empathy wouldn't go amiss.

      People don't usually commit suicide because they're having a bad week, or because of some awful news. Usually, though not always, it takes a long time before someone attempts, or indeed succeeds, to take their own life, and that build up can last for many months, years even, of undiluted misery before the final decision arrives.

      The "Real" Midlife Crisis

      Males are four times more likely to take their own lives than women – at any age – but the risk of suicide peaks for men during middle age; a trend that is sadly on the increase.

      I don't know what the root cause of this is, or what the solution might be, but one can't help but think that western societies have become just a bit too fast, selfish, and uncaring, compared to previous generations.

      Andy Aitch

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      It is so sad when someone gets down into that deep, dark hole, where they cannot see their way out into the light. I knew of two persons who committed suicide. A Col. in the Air Force, who found out he had cancer, just two houses over. One morning before work, I heard a loud bang, and had no clue what it was, but found out later, he killed himself in his backyard, so there would not be a mess to clean up inside the home. He was divorced and all of his children were grown and he did not want to be burdensome to his children. Another one, was a young man, whose wife was divorcing him, and she came home and found him hanging in the garage, so sad and terrible too. I do not know the answer, but I do know, this time of year is hard on a lot of people, so we should keep our eyes open and look for any signs that we can to just lend an ear.

      God bless, Faith Reaper

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dora, I love your short prayer...thank you for that and let's hope we see that day. Blessings to you always.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      lambservant, thank you for including that link. This is such an important topic, but it's one most people almost feel ashamed to discuss...like if you don't bring it up it won't happen. Nonsense.....while I was writing this someone killed themselves in this country...that's a problem that needs to come out of the closet.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Serious thoughts for consideration, Bill--thoughts about myself and my thoughts about others. You're right. No one is born with a desire to die. Lord, help us live in a way that nurtures our own hopes and dreams, as well as the hopes and dreams of those beside us.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      I have written on suicide on a few occasions for examiner.com I thought I'd share this for information telling statistics, signs, reasons, how to help. My gut wrenches for these kids and their families. Rick Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church in California lost his precious son to suicide after a life long battle with depression. I am so pleased that he and his wife Kay are not education and advocating for mental illness. They can make a big impact with their great audience. Thanks again for posting this hub topic.

      http://www.examiner.com/article/youth-suicide-cris...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LK, thank you very much. I feel the same way you do about confronting issues like this. I wanted it to be compassionate so I appreciate your affirmation.

    • LKMore01 profile image

      LKMore01 3 years ago

      Bill,

      You can tell by the number of responses to your HUB that this is a subject people want and need to talk about. Personally, my feelings are always out in the open. One way or another you will know what I'm feeling. However, I understand there so many people in the world who collapse into themselves and can't find hope or a way out of darkness. Any time you can discuss suicide openly and honestly it should be supported. You have written a beautiful and compassionate article.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Made. I did not want to write this, and it was painful to do so, but I believe it is important to raise awareness about the ugliness in life.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 3 years ago from Finland

      This subject is so important. Suicides are pretty common among young men where I live. It's so sad that they don't get the help they need before it's too late. Thank you for writing about suicide. It made me think of some people, who aren't here anymore...

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And that is why I wrote this, Jaye. One person...helping just one person...what is the value of one life?

      Thank you for sharing your pain and experience. I did not enjoy writing this but I believe it is crucial that people do write about it.

      bill

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Bill - I've had way too much experience with the aftermath of suicide, both in my family and among friends. It must cause the most pain of all types of death to survivors because we cannot stop asking ourselves, "Could I have done something to prevent this?" Even worse than when we knew the loved one was depressed is when there was no visible clue before it happened...so unexpectedly.

      Thank you for your compassion and your suggestion that we reach out to others. If we can make even one person feel better about himself or herself...life in general...shine a light in darkness, it's worth any effort.

      Voted Up+++ and shared

      Jaye

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      BNadyn, I know of nothing else I can do. I can try to raise awareness, but after that it is up to all of us to reach out a hand and show compassion. Oh, if we could all do that...how wonderful would that be? :) Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Theater Girl, thank you so very much for sharing your painful experience. I am so happy that you were not successful in your attempts. Now you are a writer and your time is spent bringing information and beauty into this world. How wonderful is that? :)

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from New Jersey

      Thank you for this. I especially liked the part you wrote about "playing the part" I attempted to commit suicide twice. Once as a teenager and once as a young mom. Both times I was lucky enough to be found. I finally got some real help after the second time. But I would have rather died over and over, than let anyone know how much pain I was in. Much of what I felt, I work through in my poetry. Again, I thank you for this beautiful work on a painful subject.

    • BNadyn profile image

      Bernadyn 3 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      Suicide is such a heavy topic but you did a great job on bringing awareness to it. I remember the first time I really started thinking about how serious suicide was and it was during high school when I was rooming at a drill meet with a student from out of state. She asked me casually what the suicide rate was at my high school. I was shocked and did not realize how common it was for students in her school to commit suicide. She explained that one day they'll be there and then the next day, they'll hear the news of what happened. As I've gotten older, I now have known three people who have killed themselves, two being close to my family. It's always a shock to me and I always get that feeling that I wish I could have done something to help and so you raised a good point that kindness goes a long way in touching someone's life.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Audrey for an excellent comment....you have been there, done the work and seen the pain. Valuable information you share my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for sharing that UberGeekGirl....many are haunted by such memories and I find it very sad.

    • UberGeekGirl profile image

      Michelle Harlow 3 years ago from Calgary

      I had a boyfriend kill himself when I was barely 13. It haunted me for decades :( Thanks for writing this Bill. It was beautiful.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Such a difficult topic. I have sat with many clients with one foot in this world and one in another --sometimes for months. Helping a person deal with the safety issues around suicide is one thing--that is the worst part of the crisis perhaps. But helping a person develop a vision for their life moving ahead that feels hopeful--that is the gratifying part of working with clients with suicidal tendencies--it is difficult, difficult work for both the client and the therapist--and the client's safety is the overriding concern always--suicide is very real for many people. They think about it; some plan it, and others carry it out. Talking about it with a trained professional always helps though---encourage anyone with those thoughts to seek help

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joelle, you touched upon a horrible statistic...suicides are much higher in enlisted people, and there must be something more the army can do about it. For too long they simply ignored it; it is now time for positive action.

      Thank you as always for a wonderful comment.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I have to believe that....otherwise there is no hope, and that is unacceptable. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, I can only imagine what you have seen as a nurse. Bless you for the job that you do; I happen to be a huge fan of nurses. :) I know of nothing else to do but be vigilante and be willing to share compassion. Thank you my friend and blessings to you always.

    • kidscrafts profile image

      kidscrafts 3 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      A very difficult subject to talk about. I have some neighbours who lost a son and even if it had been about 25 years ago now, you can see that the parents are still haunted by it. When it happens it can be a scar that never heals.

      It's sad that some people get so desperate that they feel that there is no other avenue than suicide. It means that our society doesn't listen enough. In Canada, we had recently 4 suicides within a week of soldiers who served in Afghanistan. In this case, I find that the army is at fault of not supporting those men with the stress of fighting and come back to "regular life".

      It's not an easy subject and I thing there is no one solution. As a society we should try to have different ways to help those in desperate needs!

    • markdarmafall profile image

      Mark 3 years ago from Moundsville,WV

      Well spoken hub my friend. Suicide is the end result of a downward spiral in ones life that reaches it's climax and they feel that there is no where to turn. Your words are so true. We can make a difference in the outcomes by reaching out to others. A true friendship can heal depression and bring rays of hope to others lives. Have a blessed day

      Mark

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      This is such a difficult thing to get one's head around, as a nurse, I see the end result and the devastation that is left behind. When this happens to someone you've known the sense of guilt can be crippling. We feel that we should have known, should have help...why didn't we see? In some cases it is a cry for help and there may be a chance to intervene, but by and large, if someone is determined to take his or her own life, sad as it may be, there is often nothing anyone can do to stop them. However, there are always exceptional cases where a little human warmth and kindness may have made the difference, the world can be cold and lonely, especially at this time of the year, so in the spirit of H.O.W let's hold out a hand to those in need before it's too late. Bill, heartfelt and beautifully done.

      My best to you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Crafty, thank you for that heartfelt comment....man alive, you have really been touched by this. I find suicide to be the saddest of all deaths, one that is so preventable if people will seek help, reach out, do something to admit there is a problem and then go get that solution.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Melissa. It was actually the holidays that made me think of this article, so I hope it does someone some good. Happy Holidays to you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Denise, it takes courage to speak of these things when they have affected you, and I applaud you for doing so. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowledge. Blessings to you always my friend.

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      Suicide is so rampant and so devastating for the ones left behind. I too have known a handful of people who have taken their own life. What in the world could be so bad for a person to feel they need to remove themselves from their journey here on earth? Money? Stuff?

      When I was in elementary school, a little boy jumped in front of a train. That haunted me for years. I still see his light blonde hair and stunning blue eyes as if he is looking right at me.

      I had a friend whose brother took his life. He never got to meet his nephew.

      My husband's sister took her life when I first met him. I only met her once. She was well-known. She had everything to live for. People loved her which was evident at the funeral.

      Many times people don't think they are loved. They don't think they have any support at all. Why is it that we all gather at a funeral, but don't celebrate someone in our daily living?

      The pain it causes on loved ones when someone takes their own life is 10 fold that of the pain the person was in when they committed suicide. I wish people would think about the consequences. There is nothing in this life that is worth destroying a life over it. Because nothing in life, not money or things, can bring us true happiness anyway.

    • mpropp profile image

      Melissa Propp 3 years ago from Minnesota

      That was beautifully written Bill. I believe that the holiday season also has an impact on the number of suicides, so now is an excellent time to remind us all to reach out to those among us who are hurting, lonely and vulnerable at this "joyous" time of year.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Thanks, bill, for tackling this difficult subject. Having been on that side of the fence, where I felt like my life was no longer worth living, and being frightened by the thoughts that ending it might be the answer, I echo your sentiment. We never know when someone we love is hurting to that point. My family was devastated when I went to the doctor for help and ended up in the mental health unit, but it was the best thing I ever did. I had to learn how to live with myself. No one could do it for me. Now, when someone says they feel like ending their life, I pay attention, and start listening.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Cris. We played that song at the funeral of my fiance....the tears flowed that day.

      Reach out....a powerful message indeed.

      love from Oly

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ann; you do the same.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      lambservant....that would in so horrible to find and deal with. The singer is Sarah MacLachlan although I never spell her name right. :) Thank you for the visit and your thoughts.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      First off, sniff, sniff for the song (love Sarah) and now I weep for the message that you convey...suicide is the saddest thing ever and I have no word for those who have been affected by this monstrous evil thought.

      This hub is so powerful, very touching and filled with high hopes...two words: REACH OUT!

      Love from the sky~

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Yes, love is all.

      Much better thanks! Hope all well with you. Enjoy the week!

      Ann

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      There is also a very high suicide rate amongst active duty military and vets - one every day.

      A year and a half ago my 20 year old son was walking through the woods and stumbled across a good friend hanging from a tree. What devastation the parents have gone through. It haunts my son still.

      Suicide is a devastating reality.

      BTW, who is the woman singing? She was really good.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Liz, I love the quote and I love the spirit behind it. Thank you for sharing that and for being the compassionate person that you are.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, thank you for sharing those two stories. This is such a sad thing to have happen...so much pain, so little awareness, so many questions after the act. It just saddens me greatly.

      As for my book being a bestseller....thank you kind lady. In the world of literature I am a very small fish. I'm trying to grow but it is a slow process for sure.

      blessings always

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DDE, that is the thing about suicide...the painful memories never leave. There are always more questions than answers. Very sad indeed my friend.

    • epbooks profile image

      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Such a sad, but touching hub. I think that there are so many people living with depression these days, some hiding it better than others and I try to live by the following quote, although it is not always easy. "Be kinder than necessary because you never know what someone is going through." People have become great actors and actresses and learn to smile through their tears. They may be hurting more than anyone knows!