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Can You Forgive And Forget ?

Updated on October 11, 2014

A Mothers Story

The year was 1952 and the place was Liverpool. We were so pleased that our eldest daughter had seemed to change and was jolly once again.

For mant months she had been so moody. She wouldn't speak to her father or I

Forgive And Forget

This is a short story of utter sadness. It was many years ago when this true story took place.The tale was told by the mother of a young girl and I am relaying her words to you. These people are absent from this world now and my hope is that any men who read this will accept that no person is owned by another and hopefully such a sad event as this will not happen again.

A Mothers story

The year was 1952 and the place was Liverpool. We were so pleased that our eldest daughter had seemed to change and was jolly once again.

For many months she had been so moody. She wouldn't speak to her father or I then suddenly she became her old self once again.

She knew we didn't approve of her boyfriend and that was how her moodiness first started. One day she came home from work in a happy state she was singing and laughing with her brother and sisters and she handed me a present of tickets to take the family to a gigantic circus and musical fete It was twenty miles away and she told us she would meet us there.

I was so happy as was her father we dressed the children in their best clothes and off we went to the circus.It was Saturday morning and very early as it was so far away.

We had a lovely long day and everything was perfect I knew I would never forget that day ! We didn't see her there and I didn't worry too much as she probably was unable to escape from work !

On the way home we all sang as we travelled in the dark Saturday night. As we got off the bus we had a short walk and close to home we saw our next door neighbour.

"You missed a fine gathering" she said to us "A pity you couldn't make it to your daughters wedding she wore a wonderful white dress.She made a lovely bride your girl did."

I gasped in shock and stumbled by the front gate. I felt the unusual clammy hands of my husband covering my shaking hands as he guided me into the house...."So that was why she gave us the circus tickets to make sure we were out of the way" I sobbed.

That was many years ago and I haven't seen her since ! My husband and sisters say I should forgive and forget !!

Who should I forgive ? Should I forgive my husband for the punch he gave my eldest daughter when at the age of 21 she came home after 1.00 in the morning ?

Should I forgive myself for allowing him to hit her ? Should I forgive her ? But what for?


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    • jandee profile image

      jandee 5 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Junko thanks for that but the truth is that the story was not about my family . It was a relative of my husbands---------sorry to confuse .

      best from jandee

    • junko profile image

      junko 5 years ago

      Forgive your husband and ask him to forgive himself. forgive your daughter for thinking that was the only way, she was loved and sheltered. Now forgive yourself and find your first born.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 6 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Anjili,

      I am in agreement with you ! We are not here for ever so shouldn't bother about little 'nothings'!

      Sorry if I confused any readers but I wrote this ages ago and didn't realise people would take it as happening to me!! No ! It was something in the distant family-before I was amongst them -in-laws !

      I seem to have this habit sometimes ,when writing! To use an imaginary 'Daughter'..

      Pamela , who made a comment above,got it right.....

      thanks for reading ,

      best from jandee

    • Anjili profile image

      Anjili 6 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid

      It is quite difficult to forgive. We ought to try hard enough especially in the light of life being rather short. What your daughter did was quite inconsiderate. I've seen it done to a few friends. Despite all this, I feel parents should rid themselves of anger, lest it degenerates into more complex conditions. Let not the sun set while you are still in anger.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 6 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Brinafr,

      I know ! Talk is cheap isn't it? The thing we try to forget is forever lurking in the background of our minds I think!

      Thanks so much for reading,

      best regards,


    • Brinafr3sh profile image

      Brinafr3sh 6 years ago from West Coast, United States

      Hi, many of us should learn and practice on how to forgive, I'm a witness to that. But forgetting is the part I'm working on. Great read, thanks. Voted up.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 6 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Pamela, I know what you mean,sorry for them as well ,very sad,

      keep from jandee

    • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

      Pamela Kinnaird W 6 years ago from Maui and Arizona

      Oh, thank goodness -- In reading the comments I found that you and your daughter are close. You didn't go through this awful experience personally. Very sad, though, for the lady it really happened to. You sure did get my attention with this hub. Sharing this one.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Peg,Sorry for being misleading !The story was taken from a relatives tale (both dead now) I just seem to use that style - Pleased to say my daughter and I are very ,very close thank goodness.Thanks Peg for your nice remarks,best from jandee

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 7 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Jandee - This was an awesome story, deep and emotionally touching. I hope that you will reconcile with your daughter one day when the time is right. Forgiveness is the right thing but oh, so difficult. Take care, Peg.

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      A shatter heart has no purpose. M

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Micky, really sorry for your loss, that is the worst kind of theft, isn't it ? Things from our soul! i.e writing,art and old family photographs. Other stuff can be bought again. Thanks for reading,

      bye, jandee

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Nicely done jandee. I've had a lifetime of work taken from me. I forgive. The behavior of the thieves doesn't change though. But I forgive. Things will never be as before. We can't take words back when they have fallen out. We can go on from this spot. Thank you for a great write.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello fyxer,like better not to put temptation their way!How will they improve themselves without your trust? I think it's a difficult one,thanks for reading,jandee

    • fyxer profile image

      fyxer 7 years ago from mt vernon

      definately forgive, but never forget, if you forget then you are leaving room for the same thing to happen again-let me explain--if you have a friend that is a thief,whenever he or she visits,money always missing from your purse--its ok to forgive them for stealing from you,but don't forget it--that way the next time they are coming over you know to lock up your money.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Thanks for reading and nice comment!!Ha!Ha!bye for now Tom

    • justom profile image

      justom 7 years ago from 41042

      Hi jandee, you look pretty hot for a 90 year old :-P Peace!! Tom

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello Tony,

      Now you've got me giggling again 'Ugh 1952 and mother of 20 year old' and here I am on my motor bike all round france, that's when I'm not ski-ing! Oh dear ! Truth will out! I s'pose I ought to place a true photo of me on site and you can see what a 90 year old who is a biker looks like,best from m.

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 7 years ago from South Africa

      A very poignant story. Thanks so much for sharing it. Forgiving is hard to do and it is the only way to heal the hurts.

      I share Charlie's puzzlement though. 1952? Anyways, thanks of sharing the story.

      Love and peace


    • profile image

      ralwus 7 years ago

      LOL One never knows. hahahaha

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 7 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hang on a minute Charlie !! Give us a minute to gather 'me specs'and 'me stick'Wow!hubby's just gone off on a gig !! You might meet each other cause I suspect you are a secret 'stand-up comedian' ,Ta for another laugh,jandee

    • profile image

      ralwus 7 years ago

      1952? hmmm, your daughter is eighteen years older than I. My god, you would be up there close to ninety then! God bless you wonder woman. anyway, I really like how you lead the reader into a really surprising end here. I find it strange a woman of your age is still worried about it now, is the hubby still alive? And the daughter would be about 78 if she still lives. How many grt-grt grandchildren have you by now? maybe grt-grt-grt ones too? Your picture says God has been kind to you. Bless you dear woman, again. Charlie

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 8 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello humagaia,

      Yes. I agree, it would always be lurking !

    • humagaia profile image

      Charles Fox 8 years ago from United Kingdom

      Forgive - Yes. Forget - how can one do that? Nobody has control over what they remember. Nobody knows the mechanism that causes one to forget - as far as I can remember, anyway.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 8 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Hello jacobkuttya,thanks for reading. I have never been able to understand the people who think they have to keep upsets going for ever.

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      jacobkuttyta 8 years ago from Delhi, India

      Very touching story.

      I think it is better to forgive than holding it as there is no benefit in holding it.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      You're welcome. No worries. It was a bit confusing but not too troublesome. Thank you for the apology.

    • jandee profile image

      jandee 8 years ago from Liverpool.U.K

      Thanks James, however I must say sorry for mistakenly putting my two comments to you on the wrong stories of yours,don't know how I did it ?

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 8 years ago from Chicago

      This is a very interesting story. I would forgive everybody for everything. That's what I do. We all have our foibles. We all need to be forgiven. And loved.

      I very much enjoyed this piece. Thanks for the good read.

    • profile image

      jandee 8 years ago

      hello HP Roychoudhury,how deep thinking and poetic are your words !I am pleased that you read my little tale of forgiveness.

    • H P Roychoudhury profile image

      H P Roychoudhury 8 years ago from Guwahati, India

      I realized your feeling because I am also a similar victim. It is easy to say forget and forgive. As you can not get back a burnt paper, one can not regain a burnt heart to a normal state as you can not get the paper in its original form.


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