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Single Motherhood and Dating PART 2:Casual Dating With Serious Intent

Updated on May 5, 2016

Part 2 in Single Motherhood and Dating

I am casual dating with serious intent at this moment. The definition of this is I’m not really looking for a serious relationship….but I’m not totally closed to the idea either. It is really in the guy’s ballpark if he wants something serious with me. I know I am ready for it; it is now to the guy is he ready too? Men are such sensitive beasts and I have totally given up trying to figure them out. I have become self assured now and of course how can I not be I am older now and a bit wiser. Still in this dating world we seem to play this game….this little flirting dance. I have decided none of that for me anymore for I am a self assured woman now and I know what I want. No more pussy footing around and giggling like a teen wondering if a guy likes me or not. I know what I like and I know he likes me too so lets get it on! Well… not get it on like that, but you know go on a date get to know each other. We woman are powerful only if we allow ourselves to be, plus there are hints and signs just don’t be so oblivious and wrapped up in ourselves that we do not notice them.

Different Guy Every Night You Hussy!

Ok so this is a little dramatized here because being a single mom you are not going to have a date every night, but you get the point. My casual dating with serious intent has kind of tugged at my good girl morals.

Do I seem like a hussy? I mean it is just one date so it does not mean I am currently in a relationship with this person.

If I do get asked out again by a different person is it okay to? Even if I went out with someone else like two weeks ago?

Does this make me less respected?

These are the thoughts going through my heard and this may well be what others are thinking too. After long talk with me and my faith I came to the conclusion of everything is fine. There may be others that maybe a bit uptight on the idea. An example is family; I even got a sex talk from my older sister to use condoms. I was horrified in that she would think I would have sex when I just met the guy. I JUST MET THE GUY!!!!! I know it’s been a long time since I have done that…still I think I can keep my 35 year old hormones in check.

 Jump On In

In conclusion nothing in life is easy if it is you better double check and make sure it’s honest and legal. Dating is a chore to begin with, being a single mom and getting back out there is even tougher. It can be done though and we just have to jump back in. My faith taught me that life is about failing and learning from that failure to make ourselves a better person. We are not perfect and we are going to fail its plain and simple and something we have to accept. That does not mean it’s the end of the world. A lesson is taught in every failure, especially in love.

Single Motherhood and Dating PART 1

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    • profile image

      aniza 

      4 years ago

      happiness, freedom and peace of mind can always be attained by giving them to someone else.

    • Motherbynature profile image

      Motherbynature 

      6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      We're in the same boat. I'm 35 and about to be single. I definitely know what I want (and don't want) this time around. I plan to date without thought of what anyone else thinks. You continue to do you. People will talk regardless of what you do in life so you might as well do what makes you happy. Good luck and great hub.

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Aww that is sweet not hokey...and actually I just started doing that writing down what I really truly want. Thanks Pm!

    • pmccray profile image

      pmccray 

      8 years ago from Utah

      This may sound weird or hokey, but here goes; do what I did. After being thrust into the dating game after 20 years, due to the death of my husband, I found it was a different world. My friends would take me clubbing every weekend and it was dreadful. I felt like the worse cut of meat in a meat market.

      So I prayed. I wrote down all that I wanted in a mate and what I didn't want, folded it and place it in my Bible Psalms 23.

      It worked, met him at the grocery store, my mother gave him my number because I ignored him. We've been together now 17 years this year and he's everything I wanted in a man.

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Exactly loveofnight. Also no one has had the guts to be able to tame me. Hahaha

    • loveofnight profile image

      loveofnight 

      8 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

      it's funny how being a mom can change the way we do the simplest things. life is too short not to leave your options open. you might miss the right guy simply because you settled too fast.

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Bless you Mekenzie, and yes after a long time if you decide to start dating again and you are older now so it can get a bit like ok how does this go again. Dating is hard period and yes Im very picky.

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 

      8 years ago from Michigan

      I can imagine it would be hard at 35 to figure dating out. You sound like you are being true to yourself and that you know what you are looking for ... just like my friend Sara who will never just settle .. she dates and she waits. The right man will love you for the unique individual that you are AND for the strength of character you possess. Keep on keeping on.

      Blessings!

      Mekenzie

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      You are right Duchess thank you. I haven't gone on out since those two dates either. I guess Im pacing myself now. Lol. Thank you so much for commenting

    • profile image

      Duchess OBlunt 

      8 years ago

      JannyC. Part two is all about how you feel. That's good. Stick to what you believe, be who you are, and don't mess around with trying to be something you are not. Good rules.

      I can't see how "dating" to get to know someone, and then "dating" someone else for the same reason would make you a hussy. It doesn't sound like you are making any promises to anyone at this point in your life. So, have some fun. (But be careful).

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Thank you Michael for stumbling by. Checked it out I can so relate!

    • Michael Ray King profile image

      Michael Ray King 

      8 years ago from Palm Coast, Florida

      Nice hub JannyC. I think you have a great perspective on dating and that you are handling the dating scene with a responsible AND moral approach. Stick to your guns (it sounds like you will). I stumbled across your hub because a friend of mine just wrote a funny book on motherhood. If you ever need a good laugh, check out her blog - www.motherhoodiseasy.com Have a great day!

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Perhaps that why men are complicated cause they really are not. Lol. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • ohtallinn profile image

      ohtallinn 

      8 years ago from Tallinn

      Hi Janny,

      Men aren't that comlicated and it's really easy to figure them out.

      I know this might sound ridiculous but you might take 2 hours and see "The Ugly Truth", not saying that 100% there is true, but they got some pretty good facts.

      Best wishes,

      B.

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Quill- That is so true and I found myself doing that too and I corrected myself imediately.

      Coffee- Thanks so much your words have empowered me as a woman.

      Thank you both Much love to you both!

    • profile image

      coffeesnob 

      8 years ago

      Janny

      I'm with Quill - just be you and don't change that for anyone. Now that will really scare the guys...self confidence exuding.. hehehe. But the gut that is not afraid of a woman who knonws who she is and not afraid to show it is at least worth the second date and maybe more...

    • profile image

      "Quill" 

      8 years ago

      Hi Janny...what is most important...you remain yourself...never change to suit anyone...you are a child of the most high and loved by all whom you touch...

      Be Blessed

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      Thanks Missi! Im happy to see you visited my little hub series again. Thank you sooo much!

    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 

      8 years ago from Southern California

      JannyC another great addition! Enjoy yourself! Hussy? Then so be it, I'd rather call it selective. You must date many to get a few keepers or hopefully that special one.

    • JannyC profile imageAUTHOR

      JannyC 

      8 years ago

      *thows confetti Mike is first comment horray!!!

      Yes guys should be terrified of us woman, but I only bite when provoked. Hahaha. Thanks Mike for your comment I got more good hub posts to come.

    • Mike Lickteig profile image

      Mike Lickteig 

      8 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

      Janny, good luck on the dating thing. I wouldn't even give dating different guys a second thought--you will want to keep your options open. Just remember, guys are probably more terrified of women than you are of us, so if we act too weird when you're dating us, that is probably why!!

      Good luck!

      Mike

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