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How to Choose a Good Husband

Updated on July 7, 2011

How to choose a good Husband

     Choosing a good partner in life, is a very challenging thing to do, because any careless mistake might lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. In this article, I decided to limit my lesson on how to choose a good partner, by focusing only on selecting a good husband, so as to ensure proper treatment of the topic. May be, in my next article, I will treat that of selecting good wife.

     When you were young, you were only concerned with temporary satisfactions when it comes to love and relationship. And may be, you did develop one or two crush on a guy, based on the fact that he is handsome, intelligent, popular, funny, rich or bold. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with these traits, but these appeals are most common to youths and teens, who are still exhibiting youthful exuberance, causing them to develop a crush on someone based on superficial qualities of the person.

      But as one matures, however, we start to develop better human perspective powers to examine deep issues and qualities like; moral uprightness and others. By this time, you start to realize that the most popular guy you know is not trustworthy, or that the richest guy in your town or street may not be morally upright.

      And when you now look back into your past life, you might have come across so many different guys who did really met your youthful appeal, but yet, you don’t think they are right for you when it comes to marriage. This is because, when we were young, our minds centers only on satisfying our sexual and financial desires first, before considering other things and this why our youthful appeals and crush are based on superficial desires. But as we mature, our orientation changes.

   Remember, marriage is all about a decision, and a lifetime one indeed. Therefore, we should not put in mind the bastardization of marriage by Westernization and urbanization by the law and some so-called human right policies. Before making a decision to marry any man, think first and please think wisely. First, consider these things:

1.      Can he be my lifetime mate?

2.      Will he be able to bring out the best in me and vice versa?

3.      Does he want me just for a fling or physical satisfaction of his sexual needs?

4.      Is he ready to forgive and forget always?

5.      Does he like bullying or beating me whenever things go wrong?

6.      Is he wise in his spending and earning

         After answering these questions,, go further and examine yourself, to know if you are truly ready and clean to marry him, don’t say yes yet. Follow me?

         Remember that marriage is a holy union, so do not take into it, anything that is unclean or indecent. What do I mean by unclean? Read on. Before saying, “yes I do”, make sure that:

1.      You do not have any other person you promised marriage.

2.      You do not have any sexual imperfection, disease, illness or hatred. If you do, please inform him earlier so you people can jointly agree before getting married.

3.      You do not have any sexual pervasion or secrets like habitual masturbation, incest practices, lesbianism and many others. Also, inform him, so you two can agree or disagree.

4.      You have a legal backing to marry, if you are divorced, separated or for once married.

5.      You are spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally prepared to be a good wife yourself.

 After carrying out the above personal examinations, think beyond imaginable. What do I mean by this? Now, how compatible are you two? Don’t always be fooled by such statements like this; “we always agree on almost everything” “we love each other’ “we enjoy same things like music, food, sports etc” you should rather examine more critically what happens when you people disagree on issues, how fast does he forgive and forget? How does he handle conflicts? Is it by insisting on what he says or perhaps giving in, in anger or by pouring out abusive speeches? Or does he show reasonableness and a willingness to submit for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?

   Lastly, you must consider if he is too jealous, manipulative, possessive or easy going. Asking or making wise and deep inquiries from those that knew him for long might help you out. Therefore, inquire from his colleagues, business partners (if necessary), friends, siblings, parents, neighbors or religious brothers. This might help you to know him more and better. Don’t just say, “yes I do”, be careful with your choices of life partner.

  In conclusion, do this last examination of him, to know if he would make a good husband now and in the future.

  1. Is he industrious? Answer: yes or No.
  2. What is his relationship with his parents? Answer: Very good or not too good.
  3. What type of entertainment does he enjoy most? Answer: Rough ones or Cool ones.
  4. How close is he to his religion and God? Answer: Very close or I doubt that.
  5. Is he considerate of others? Answer: Yes or No?
  6. Is he physically abusive to you? Answer: Yes or No?
  7. Is he addicted to alcohol or tobacco? Answer: Yes or No?
  8. Who are his friends? Answer: They are nice and responsible or I can’t really tell?
  9. What goal does he have in life? Answer: I can’t just tell or Very nice one?
  10. Is he financially responsible? Answer: Yes or No?

       If you have answered those questions correctly without being biased may be because you are so much in love with him.  And you are very sure he passed up to a 70%, I would advice you to give him a try for a marriage, but if he didn’t, I doubt he would make a good husband for you may be in the future. Unless you are ready for a divorce, which is not in any way advisable.

           Good luck, please I would like to read your comments to enable me know the impact of this article to your life, and to encourage me to do more researches and findings. Thank you.

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    • accofranco profile image
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      accofranco 2 years ago from L Island

      @Judith, thanks for stopping by to share your personal experience, but let me warn you: DON'T EVER MAKE THE MISTAKE OF ALLOWING LOOKS DECEIVE YOU! As time goes, you will wake up to realize that looks is nothing but a mere feeling and lust! But then, I can't chose for you, only you know what you want in life, so choose wisely and good luck dear.

    • profile image

      judith 2 years ago

      Thanks! for this article.

      However, I'm torn between two men who have both passed your test and the problem here is, one is more handsome than the other. I am attrated to the handsome one but the other one though not really handsome seems better in almost all aspects of choosing a good husband. I'm very confused right now, please advice me.

      Thank you.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 4 years ago from L Island

      @Mary, thanks....and please be more elaborate so I can understand you better and be able to answer your question, thanks.

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      Mary 4 years ago

      I liked your comment, it was very clear and usefull, but i want to know how it is reliable. tanx

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 5 years ago from L Island

      @chinny, first, some of the things you mentioned in your comment, are selfish-superficial wants, and not even necessary in choosing a good partner. But all the same, you husband to be must be physically attracted to you and you to him for the relationship or marriage to work. if he is not physically attracted to you, then you should not marry him because you might end up loosing passion in him which may lead to infidelity on your side. finance issue, does he have potential? if he does, fine, stick with him and try and help him develop his potential, he may end up being a millionaire you desire. but if he doesn't have a potential and a well-defined dream or life goal, and plans on how to reach those goals, then you may have boarded the wrong bus...run....

    • profile image

      Chinny 5 years ago

      Am newly engaged to my fiancée but some times i have double mind about him. One : his town is far from ours. two: his sister don't relate well with me but the parents does. Three: he is not really handsome as my ideal man despite the fact the he loves me with all his heart and will do anything for me. four: he is not financially balanced for now and he spent if he has. Pls advice me

    • profile image

      GetBackInTheKitchen 5 years ago

      You have a line that says to make sure he doesn't just need you for sexual needs.

      Yet your entire article is for a lazy slut who cannot make a penny or do anything on her own.

      Stupid bitches. And this is why you don't get married fellas.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 5 years ago from L Island

      @Arun, thanks for stopping by....glad you loved it.

    • profile image

      Arun 5 years ago

      Nice

    • accofranco profile image
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      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @female, thanks for making a stop to drop a word...i quite appreciate your comment and encouragement. Thanks and i wish you all the best, and please do pass it across...

    • profile image

      female 28 6 years ago

      Hey Accofranco, I found this a very informative article, although I am single, this is definitely food for thought in choosing the right partner who fits in with your life values, respecting one another for who you are, your individuality and what you both want from life as a couple. thanks, god bless...

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @Mercy Tim, thanks for the inspiring comment, and may God bless you too...thank you.

    • profile image

      Mercy Tim 6 years ago

      Thanks for the didactic article. Am sure whoever reads this will get a treat to reality. I have been blessed and now I can affirm that it much more than physical attraction. God bless you.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @Desufnoc, age is very vital when making a choice of life partner...though much has been said that age is just a number. if you can deal with it and you are comfortable with it, there is no problem, it won't matter much. but if you are sensitive about age, you better chose wisely.

      all the same, the age gap is not so scary anyway, it is okay if he is still in his late or early thirties or early forties. i wish you the best my dear, and thanks for reading, i am glad you found the hub informative and helpful. Good luck!

    • profile image

      Desufnoc 6 years ago

      Thanks for sharing Accofranco. I feel like my partner score 95% on your checklist but he is 11years older than me. Do you think it matters? I'm afraid few years down the road I might feel he is too old for me.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @angel, thanks...if you wish to get to me directly, just write me a personal message through my 'contact this author' link on my profile...i look forward to reading your message though...how was your day?...thanks for contributing.

    • profile image

      angel 6 years ago

      hey i really luv ur article.......u hve amazin writin........i tink im fallin 4 u......

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      @fuzzylogic, thanks for commenting, really women can control the high rate of divorces taking place in the world right no, by adopting mitigating strategies instead of the other approach of treatment after infection. anyway God bless you, and may you find a perfect match. good lcuk.

    • profile image

      fuzzylogic 6 years ago

      Lovely article! Girls should be serious about their marriage and should be wise when then select their life partner. Such articles may reduce cases, where couples get separated within 5 years of their marriage. Thanks for posting such a nice article.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 6 years ago from L Island

      Welcome Menna, i would be glad to attend your wedding, so do keep me updated. Good luck!

    • profile image

      menna 7 years ago

      i think this is perfect ... i think this very Important tips for all girls ... i'm sure i will try it and i'll invite you in my wedding party :).. i',m really Grateful

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @menna, that sounds great and awesome! please i would also suggest that you read my other article titled: how to connect with and keep a good man. just click on this link : https://hubpages.com/relationships/How-to-Connect-... and finally, if you can be able to afford it, i would also recommend that you grab a copy of my E-book titled 'secret exposure for single ladies'($12 only) at:http://www.lulu.com/content/e-book/secret-exposure...

    • profile image

      menna 7 years ago

      i think this is perfect ... i think this very Important tips for all girls ... i'm sure i will try it and i'll invite you in my wedding party :).. i',m really Grateful

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @Chijusti, thanks for that wonderful commendation, may God bless you and also lead you to the right choice. keep reading!

    • profile image

      Chijusti 7 years ago

      Very lnteresting lnformation.I have learned much 4rm ur book.way done

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @Fae, you are highly welcomed, and please also try and get a copy of my newly published E-book titled: "Secret Exposure for Single Ladies" at lulu.com, search for the title and author: Nwiro Ngozika. it cost less than $12, you will be glad you purchased it, and it will go along way in reviewing a lot of things you never knew about men to you. try and get a copy. good luck dear. bye.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @Fae, you are highly welcomed, and please also try and get a copy of my newly published E-book titled: "Secret Exposure for Single Ladies" at lulu.com, search for the title and author: Nwiro Ngozika. it cost less than $12, you will be glad you purchased it, and it will go along way in reviewing a lot of things you never knew about men to you. try and get a copy. good luck dear. bye.

    • profile image

      Fae 7 years ago

      This article help me a lot about my future husband preferences. Thank you for your work.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @AMNA, thanks for that wonderful commendation, God bless you and please do keep in touch. once again thanks for reading.

    • profile image

      AMNA 7 years ago

      THANKS A lot LOVELY ARTICLES

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      @Gift, please run, he doesn't deserve your love. and i am very happy you stood on NO NO NO. Congrats! you are a winner. please keep guarding what you have, it is very precious and vital, God will continue to strengthen you the more. take care and good luck in your subsequent relationship, always be wise as you have been. bye and thanks for reading.

    • profile image

      Gift 7 years ago

      Thanks for your timely article. It has helped me point were my fiancé is.Am 24, I have been confused for a long time about him and wanted to quit but his manipulative power has always held me back. sometimes i feel am enslaved by him. he separated me from all my friends and i am in a lone world. now he cheats on me with the people i know and claims they are the one pestering him, i caught his lies many times. He told me he is a virgin, but i don't believe that anymore and recently after two years of courtship he is telling me he cannot wait any longer but i pleaded with him to still wait until we are legally married because i have not known a man too. he is not responsible for my finances and he hurts me too often i don't think he deserves my love n faithfulness anymore.

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      Thanks kazeemjames01 for making out time to read my hub and to also comment, remain blessed.

    • kazeemjames01 profile image

      kazeemjames01 7 years ago

      food for thoughts. Well researched. thanks for sharing

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      Welcome Marsa, i am glad you enjoyed it,have a nice day.

    • profile image

      marsa 7 years ago

      nice article. thank you

    • profile image

      bettsy 7 years ago

      very timely and relevant for me...thank u very much..very much confused right now because i have a boyfriend who is very religious...he is 29, im 27...he is working in a charity while im looking for a job this time. he is 90% on the test...but you know im bothered about his morality... we are physically intimate though we are technically both virgin but we are almost there... its my first time to get so physically close to a man, he as well to me... i hate to feel held back by this thing in making upright decision... he is good companion, commited, very transparent and loving but he is hot heated when he is under stress to the point of feeling that he is disconnected to me...

      hhhm ur article helps a lot ... thank u. really worth to ponder.

    • profile image

      bettsy 7 years ago

      very timely and relevant for me .. thank u very much... very much confused right now...

    • profile image

      queen 7 years ago

      oh this is so nice and very informative.i have learned so much from it.thhank u so much

    • profile image

      NEBA IRENE 7 years ago

      THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION YOU HAVE GIVEN ME,I HAD 70% AND I AM SURE TO MAKE A GOOD WIFE

    • aulialuqmanaziz profile image

      aulialuqmanaziz 7 years ago

      Great checklist! I may add a principal that all men will get partners for each that is EQUAL, either in characteristics, personality, or wealthiness. It means that if you spend your life with doing nice things most of the time, then it will be more likely for you to get an equal partner just the way you are. If you like to get drunk, it is likely for you to get partner that likes to get drunk also. So, the choice is yours. What kind of partner that you want??

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 7 years ago from L Island

      i am very glad to hear that Candee. you know, many ladies have not come to realize what you just realized now, they find themselves in a lust, and they name it love. anyway, thanks for reading and sharing your experience and idea. keep reading Candee. Merry Xmas and a more prosperour new year ahead!

    • profile image

      Candee 7 years ago

      This is a very sensible article. I am married and was thinking my first boyfriend was much more attractive physically and thought that he was my "true" love. After reading your article, it re-affirms me that my husband (who has a good moral standing and meets 90% + of your checklist) is the one most suitable for me. It immediately helps me to cross out my ex.

    • profile image

      Fabian Paisi 8 years ago

      I am a young man with the age of 20, inlove with a woman of 35

    • accofranco profile image
      Author

      accofranco 8 years ago from L Island

      goodluck vanicky, you were lucky to have a nice man, though many are, it only requires carefulness. thanks for reading my work.

    • profile image

      vanickynyanchoka@yahoo.com 8 years ago

      my husband to be is a nice one.

    • profile image

      vanickynyanchoka@yahoo.com 8 years ago

      my husband to be is a nice one.

    • profile image

      Melisa 8 years ago

      It is very important to choose the right person to be your husband for life because when you get married it should be for life because I don't believe in divorce I don't like the word divorce because for me that is a bad word, so that is why I think marriage is a special word as much as love and make sure always that you choose the right person to become your husband.

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 8 years ago from Washington, USA

      Nice hub. Yes it is very important to choose the "right" person for a husband and also making sure I am the "right" person for my husband as well. Within our community most of the girls(and/or parents) look for the following things:

      1) Character: Now in different cultures different things are included within "character" in ours if a boy smokes, drinks or womanizes (having affairs/girl friends) then it is a red flag. Also general attributes whether a person is respectful of elders, kind to others, friendly with kids and so on.

      2) Family Background: Who the boys parents are and what is there standing in the society? (Usually no hard and fast rule here but usually between the two families there shouldn't be too much of inequality or differences)

      3) Education: With respect to the girl how far has the boy studied?

      4) Career: His ability to take care of the family. Thumbs up for a thought provoking article.