P.S. I Still Love You - Part 4

“ Dear Arvind

I really don’t know how you will feel after reading this letter. Iam at all pains at writing this letter. By this time you must have finished crying and must have been missing me also. Now that Iam dead, I want to tell you something. Arvind, if you remember the letter I had written threatening to divorce you; well it was just to make you love me more.

Just 2 days before I wrote that letter, I came to know about my cervical cancer which had already reached its last stage. Some months prior to my knowledge of my cancer, I used to experience pain whenever we made love but I used to ignore. Iam paying a heavy price for it now. The doctor then told me that I can live maximum for another 1 year or so. I decided not to tell about the illness to anybody. I did not want to become a centre of attraction and subject of pity. You were so engrossed in work that you hardly gave me time and my time was running by. I just needed attention from you and hence I had to write that letter.

Arvind, I did not tell you about this illness, because had I told you about it, you would have loved me, but that love would have been out of pity. I wanted the real love, love you would have given me, if were to live like a normal human being. I know I acted as a selfish woman but I wanted my husband to love me for the remaining time I had. I also did not want to burden you with my problems because I knew, my problems like me was temporary.

The letter which you wrote to me next proposing all your love, was the most beautiful love letter I have ever read. I was touched and moved. Just for your information, I used to read that letter everyday without fail.

I loved the way you used to cook pasta for me, although it tasted horrible, but I could feel your love in that. Just get yourself a good cooking book and you will do fine. I loved the way you used to put your arms around me when I used to feel low. I loved the way when you tried to dance with me on our honeymoon. There are so many things Arvind, that Iam going to miss about you when I reach heaven. How I wish I had some more time.

Your love gave me the power to bear the pain and face the disease. The two weeks that we spent in Paris were the most beautiful days of my life, better than our honeymoon. I cherished each and every moment.

Our life did become mundane after that, but the best part was, you became a far better husband after that letter. Your love gave me strength at every step. As the clock was ticking by, I could not bear the fact in some days I wont be there on this earth. I used to watch you everyday like a teenage girl hoping my life will be extended by some days, so that I could stay with my dream man a little longer. I used to cry like a baby day in day out but the fact that you were around made me strong. Life ditched me when I needed it most.

Arvind, just promise me one thing that after I die, you will open a Marriage counseling centre and help all those couples out there who are in problems. I do not want another Natasha writing letters to her husband. Marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me and I want each and every woman to enjoy this bliss. You also have to promise me that you will get married again. I was just one part of your life. There will be other parts too and you have a long way to go. Your life is waiting for you with open arms. Keep me in your heart and remember me in a way that I could be of help to you. I don’t want my memories should bring pain and tears to you. Tomorrow when you are sad, confused, unsure, despodent and lost complete faith in yourself try to look at yourself through my eyes and you will realize that there is someone up there apart from GOD who still trusts you and has complete faith in you. Let there be love as life is too short. Once you fulfil these promises I will feel satisfied.

I love you Arvind a lot and I don’t know when I die, you will be with me or not. I have treasured every moment I have spent with you. Have a great life and may God always keeps showering HIS blessings on you. I wish God grants me some more days to live before the inexorable death comes. I will meet you again sometime somewhere again in next life. Till then goodbye.

Your loving wife,

Natasha

P.S. I still love you a lot and will always do so.

There were tears in Jatin’s eyes. “When did you find this letter? Jatin asked. “Two weeks after Natasha died”. Arvind continued “She had kept it hidden in one of her drawers in the cupboard so that I could read it after she was dead. I wish I had found this letter before. I was on my Europe trip when I got the news. For 2 weeks I did not eat or sleep properly. It was painful. I decided to leave my job and set up a Marriage counseling centre. If today Iam successful, its only because of her. I miss her a lot guys”. Tears started coming down Arvind’s cheek. “Iam sorry. I just couldn't control” Arvind confessed. “Its Ok man, we understand and we are indebted to you. You have given both of us a new life” Jatin said in a soothing tone. He kept the letter on the table and kissed Pooja. Arvind smiled and said ”I just wish you guys luck for future” “Thanks Arvind” Pooja said.

2 hours passed. Arvind was taking a small nap. Suddenly the doorbell rang. He opened the door and saw something on the floor. It was some sort of a letter. He picked it up and started reading.

To be contd..

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