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Classic Courtship

Updated on June 7, 2011

My Opinion On Courtship

In this day and age, the term courtship seems to have been rubbed out from some of the young generation's vocabularies. Wooing the girl of your dreams appear to be uncalled for in a time where online, speed and blind dating has come to be the in thing.

But then again, a lot of people still admit that nothing beats relationships that went through the classic courtship pattern. Happy and contented wives and girlfriends tell that their relationships are deeper and stronger because their partners have worked hard to get them to say "yes". Let us look back and reminisce about how things used to be before and perchance learn that the old classic way is still best.

Courtships traditionally are long rituals lasting for months and even years. The reason for this is to give the couple to know the person very well and enable them to establish ties that would prepare them for the next step of their relationship which is generally marriage. This is very contrary to the trend nowadays where a woman may have easily hooked up with a guy that she had just met at the bar. And even for some who personally admit to being conservative and old-fashioned, the period of courtship which lasts for a month or so is already a sufficiently long time.

Sound advice tells us that no matter how passionate and in love you are with your partner, you should be able to spend enough time with him to get to know him better - find out his basic strengths and weaknesses at the very least. As the saying goes, it pays to be slow and sure in our undertakings and this perfectly apply to relationships. By getting to know the person before making the commitment plunge, you will have a lesser possibility of regrets.

Never make the first move and play hard to get. A lot of liberated females may roll their eyes with these phrases but give it a chance. Outdated and old-fashioned, yes but these wisdom quotes nevertheless work. Throughout the ages and until today, it has been proven that men always love a good chase. There is that thrill and excitement of going for a specific goal and working hard to get it, what more if it is the girl of your dreams that stands as the prize. You not only get your man's love and respect but your man will likely cherish and value your relationship more because he has worked so hard to get you to be his.

Most likely our most treasured possessions are the ones we labored and strived so much for. With this technique, you also get to know if your suitor is really into you or not; on how much he is willing to do to prove his love and feelings for you. Shallow and skin-deep sentiments often go numb early on and wither during the process while the mighty and valiant prevail. Wouldn't it be great to know that your man is really your real life prince charming hot on your pursuit? By Jim Brown

Courtship is a great thing and I agree wholeheartedly with it if it could actually work in today's society but I don't believe it can. A few years ago I was an active member on a christian courtship site but if I ever dared to disagree I was told to quieten down and fall into line. This is something I abhorr as everyone is entitled to their opinions, right or wrong. I understand they have their rules but I detest censorship in any fashion.

Now that I'm in my current relationship I know without a doubt I would be told to break it off and get to the alter in repentence for my sins as I live with my significant other. We are not legally married but I believe that two people can be married in the eyes of God and that marriage is as solid and real as a legal one. God did not create courthouses and legal marriages or contracts if you will. Legal marriage is nothing more than a contract and if one party doesn't live up to his/her end of the deal then it can be dissolved and that is no different than me hiring a roofer and he doesn't do what he says he will do and I take him to court for not satisfying his obligatory contract. I understand perfectly why we have those types of contracts but marriage shouldn't be one.

Back to original topic being that of courtship. Today's society doesn't allow for it in young couples let alone older couples. Many people are getting married at much older ages when often times fathers are no longer alive and people within the church are not interested in being your father figure so to speak. The model is a good one but it simply isn't doable today.

This brings me to my next question: Where exactly does this leave my relationship? How does it stack up? Am I doomed for failure just because I didn't follow a model? Is it going to be harder because therapists say it will be?

My opinion is my relationship is no different than a married couples and I have just as great a chance of success even though it wasn't through courtship.

I agree with courtship but it wasn't something I could follow and it's a great ideal but can it be followed?


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    • profile image

      Mr. Plath 5 years ago

      never make the first move and play hard to get = my death

    • profile image

      sassygrrl32 9 years ago

      Thank you. There are many that believe courtship is the only way to go and it is a good model to follow but when you get older(35+) it is no longer realistic in my opinion. There may be some(40+) that may be able to work it but by this time parents are often deceased or elderly and in need of care and in no shape to handle courtship responsibilities. When two people get older I think it is basically up to them to handle their relationship the way they see fit and if courtship is it then they set forth their own rules.

    • meghaningram08 profile image

      meghaningram08 9 years ago from Wharton County Junior College

      I am a big fan of old-fashioned courtship. I am definitely a minority as far as this belief goes because I am a college student. I agree that your relationship has a good chance of survival even though it wasn't through courting.