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Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis - Part 2

Updated on April 17, 2013

As a follow-up to my article “Why does turning 25 feel like a mid-life crisis?!”, this is basically a sequel that includes some things that I’ve learned over the past year that have helped point me in the right direction, and hopefully it will help some of you quarter-lifers, too.

Now, for those of you who haven’t read my previous article, I’ll briefly sum it up for you.

I had just turned twenty-five. I suddenly realized that the dreaded 30 was slowly creeping around the corner and I was facing a few problems, those being:

- I did not want to spend the rest of my life with the person I was in a relationship with

- I had no idea how to tell the person I was in a relationship with that I did not want to spend the rest of my life with him

- I did not want to spend the rest of my life at my dead-end job rotting in a cubicle

- I had no idea how to tell my boss that I did not want to spend the rest of my life rotting in a cubicle

- I wanted to travel. Not a trip to Disneyland traveling. Backpacking through Europe traveling. Life-changing traveling.

And so, the quest began: what can I do to ensure that, if I get married and settle down in five years, I can take the plunge down the one-way aisle without any fear or regrets?

Without further ado, here is Part 2 to conquering the quarter-life crisis, for anyone who may be going through this same turmoil...

Okay, first things first. Well, as I previously mentioned, the dead-end relationship was the first thing gnawing away at me. My boyfriend wanted to get married, but when I searched for that feeling of eternal bliss when I thought about spending forever with him, it was nowhere to be found. So, I dumped him and moved out. And then he got a new girlfriend. And then I did the whole “I’m sad he’s with someone else and want him back” mourning grievance for about a week. And then I was over it.

Sooo, moving on to bigger and better things. Next, I got my own apartment, which allowed me the freedom to really utilize my newfound free time and figure out what the hell it was that I wanted to do with my life. Which brings me to the hardest part of conquering the QLC: what do I really want to do with my life? And is it too late to do it?

Well, the first question I can’t answer for you, but the second one I can, and the answer is no. It’s never too late to switch careers, or majors or whatever it is that you want to do. And this is coming from someone who discovered six months before receiving her college diploma that she did not want to be a business major. But I digress…

Anyway, I read a story once about a woman who went to some sort of soul searching retreat and the leader asked everyone to think of the one thing they’d always wanted to do in life and write it down. I remember asking myself when I read it “what is the one thing I’ve always wanted to do in life?” and the first thing that came to mind was writing, because I’d always loved to read and write ever since I was young. And the second runner up to writing was music, which is also something I loved to play and listen to since I was a kid.

And sure enough, a month later, I met a kid who was a music writer….

Bright lights and heavenly choir music engulfed me. A music writer… Yes! That’s it! That’s what I want to do with my life!

Now, the only question was, how do I go about doing it? I have a sucky business degree that I loathe, and I don’t have a journalism degree. Nor do I have any published writing experience.

So I did a few freelance blogging gigs for a music website, and after gaining some published writing experience I ended up landing a freelance writing job for a Boston based Magazine writing for their weekly music column. But it still begs the question… how do I pay my bills doing this full time? Freelance writing is great, don’t get me wrong, but unfortunately unless you have a lot of it coming in, it’s highly unlikely that you can quit your day job and write full-time and make enough to live on.

And then I had revelation number two: I read a musically-inspired romance novel. I then stirred up the combination of my love for music and my childhood desire to write novels and, over the past year, took my music writing experience and other experiences and concocted a novel of my own. Then I set out to find out all there was to know about how to publish a book.

The only problem was that, between working full-time and writing for the magazine part-time, it was really hard to find time to sit down and do all the edits and rewrites I needed to in order to make it perfect. So I started saving and dreaming of the day when I could be independently wealthy, write for a living, travel when I wanted to, and never have to rot in a 9-5 cubicle job again.

And then it happened.

My boss called me into her office one day and said “I’m really sorry but we’re going to have to lay you off. There just isn’t enough work to keep you here.”

Now, most people say “Oh that’s terrible” when I tell them I got laid off, but in truth, it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened. I was in a good situation because I had been saving for a long time in hopes that I could actually take a year off and focus strictly on writing and traveling, I just never thought it would happen so soon, nor did I know if I’d have the balls to actually quit. And now I didn’t have to.

So for the past year, I’ve been focusing on writing and traveling, seen about half of the U.S., and had my novel signed by a literary agent. But the greatest part is having the freedom to write and travel and do the things I’ve been wanting to do since… I turned 25!

My point is, for everyone that can relate to feeling lost in the quarter-life crisis chaos, my advice is to do a few things: the first being to really think back on your life and think of the one thing you’ve always wanted to do in life. And then go and do it. I know it sounds easier said than done, but it really isn’t. If you keep a positive mentality that you can do it, you will. And after that, the rest will fall into place. Do what you love, do the thing that deep down you've always wanted to do. If you hate your job, find one you love. If you’re in a relationship that makes you feel like you’re settling, don’t be in it. If you want to be in a relationship, find people that share similar interests as you, and go to places where you’ll meet those kinds of people. If you want to travel, then TRAVEL! And remember that a positive mentality is the key to success. If you think you can do it, you will. After all, you only live once...

(And as a quick follow-up to this article, I published my first novel "Sound Bites" last year, and incorporated my own quarter-life crisis struggles into the story, so feel free to check it out below!)

Sound Bites: A Rock & Roll Love Story by Rachel K. Burke


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      Maryland 3 years ago

      THX that's a great answre!

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      Zarya 3 years ago

      With all these silly webtises, such a great page keeps my internet hope alive.

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      Sequoia 3 years ago

      That's an astute answer to a tricky quioetsn

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      eMe 5 years ago

      Oh my God what a complete blessing to find this blog!!! As someone said on the previous comments Thank God for Google!! I've come to the point of typing in the search engine "20's crisis" to see if I wasn't as Insane as I tought I was and maybe find some other people going through the same situation. So I ended up finding this blog which has made me feel way better than I was a couple hours ago!

      Just to tell my story a little bit, I'm currently 24 years old. I will be 25 on December and ever since I was about 22 o 23 I've been going on and on, wondering what is that I really want to do with my life. The problem is I wasn't able to find someone really appropiate to talk about this. My parents don't really get the point as they think I am worrying too much, but I believe they don't understand because the world doesn't quite work the same as when they were young.

      I've been feeling stucked in my life since I'm still not done with my graduate degree (currently on thesis) in a career which I dont see myself working for the rest of my life. Something that I figured out on my last year of Architecture School.

      I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time since I feel that it will also be something that would tie me down and all I want to do is be free, explore and go "wanderlusting" around the world trying to find what is that I like and that I'm good for.

      It is amazing how difficult it is for me to say: "ok girl, write down what is that you like and pursue it!" and end up blocked because I've been focusing so much on what I'm SUPPOSED to do and NOT what I WANT to do, that I've just forgotten what I truly enjoy.

      Also depresses me that I'm still living with my parents since I've focused all my time in studying. I'm economically dependent and that makes me feel like a loser! What is even worst, the situation cuts down my possibilities of actually making that life changing backpacking trip to Europe.

      Most of my highschool friends chose more practical career like Business Administration that have a bigger job opportunities in my country. I know I shouln't be comparing myself, but I can't help but wonder what is that they have that I don't. What desicions have make them "take off" faster than me...

      Oh well I know its all matter of time as everyone say, but I would LOVE to figure this out as soon as possible! this uncertainty is driving me crazy. And I do want to make the best desicions for my life now to cultivate them into a better future.

      My best wishes for all of you who share my worries, just writing it down made me feel better.

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      KL 5 years ago

      All the way from South Africa - thank you for this. I turned 25 at the end of last year and my goodness it's been crazy. I had a great boyfriend and for a good part of our 19-month relationship I could see us getting married. Everything else felt fine. I was happily content with life. And then I wasn't. I suddenly realised that as much as I loved the guy I was with and and wonderful a guy as he is, I'd be settling if I stayed with him and ended up marrying him. This was a week ago, so sometimes I'm still questioning it all, but I know I'll get there. Also, I find that I am now desperately seeking a new job. I have a great one right now, but I've been in this job for five years and I can just feel that it's time to move on. I'm suddenly filled with the desire to travel and see the world. I've seen a lot of it, but nothing life-changing. I want the life-changing travel. I hope this feeling of self-doubt doesn't last throughout your late-20s. And I certainly hope I don't feel this way again at 30 or beyond. It sucks in a big way. I feel like it's all gone awry since turning 25. Sometimes, I wish I could rewind to this time last year. I was happier then. Less confused. And not heartbroken. But this too shall pass. I can't wait to turn 26. Just so that I can get over all of this.

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      rachel 5 years ago

      thank you so much for this article and for all those who wrote their comments...i feel a little better...its comforting to know that im not alone in this struggle...good luck to all us

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      mercy 5 years ago

      I can't thank you enough for all that you have done for me. About a year ago I my partner split up, we had both made BIG mistakes in our relationship. He ended up moving away from me to pursue a new life. I knew in my heart that he would be the only one to make me happy. I was relieved when I found your email on a site about what you have done. I requested 1 to 2 day casting of the reunite us love spell and within 3days mark company had relocated him back to our hometown where I still lived. We immediately reconnected and move in with each other. Our wedding date is set for Summer 2012. Expect to see your invite in the mail thanks to

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      jnGrl 5 years ago

      I'm turning 25 in 5 months. I graduated university and moved out to LA to start my job. All those years busting my butt in college paid off: I landed my dream-job right out of college. I'm doing what I love, I have my own place, and am financially stable- not to mention I am extremely happy. I discovered myself, who I am, achieved what I wanted out of life, and learned to love myself. So far, 25's looking awesome...... except I ended up missing out on relationship opportunities because I was so focused on reaching for my dreams that now I feel very insecure because I'm turning 25 and I'm still a virgin. I guess now I can have the fun I missed out on because everything else is taken care of... but it doesn't help my anxiety over it though...

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      Conrado 5 years ago

      Did not know so many people are going through the same feelings as I'am, I'm turning 25 in 4 months and I've felt like I want to stop time and rearrange my life. I'll just let it flow and try to stay positive and do what I want. Thanks for writing this. Blessings.

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      Ee 5 years ago

      Just will add my thanks as well. It's hard to figure out, but I guess it's a good thing we're all realizing it now and hopefully taking our futures back into our hands.

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      5 years ago

      Thank You and everyone that posted for helping me understand what I have been feeling since I turned 25.

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      Lee 5 years ago

      Crazy how true this is and how many people feel same way. I am 27 going on 28 and I am also in a confused lost point in my life. I am turning 28 in August a little less than 4 months from now. I have been working and going to school all my life like you also majoring in Business getting my Bachelors but I just switched my career from Real estate to International Trade about 6 months ago, although I do not love the 9-5 m-f I do like the stability and pay. I have been in relationships since I was 15 and for the first time I am single for over one year now after breaking off my 3 year dead end relationship with my ex March of last year. Now I feel so out of my element being single and went from going out partying dating guys "enjoying the single life" to now just wanting to travel all the time (about once a month) traveling has become my new addiction (I just started traveling at 26 yrs old and have been on vacation at least 15x) but when I am home I do not come out much I just go to work go home watch my shows and movies wake up and do it again. I cutt off all of my "friends" that were no good anyway as well as several other bad habits since i am trying to find myself and better myself. But I have to admit the stress of turning 28 soon and being alone is scaring me. Just like you I travel almost all over the US since I cannot fly farther being that I do have a 9-5 and limited days off but when I go away it gets lonely at times. It is weird like I enjoy being by myself but sometimes i want to have someone there to spend my time with. Problem is I cannot find any good friends or boyfriend as of yet to replace the no good ones I cutt off. I just figure I rather be alone than with the wrong people you know? I was always considered "popular" but now I avoid everyone out here like the plague since realizing 98% of the people I grew up with do not have good motives towards me thru their previous actions of course. I do believe good people are out there and I also believe my mr right is somewhere out there as well that would love me for more than my good looks or body til then i am the lone ranger that only comes out to go to work and travel away from here. Anyways keep living your dream and thank you for making me see we are not alone :)

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      Maria 6 years ago

      you story connects with mine...the only part missing is love boy friend for me... otherwise almost everything matches....

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      Su... 6 years ago

      I feel the same as you do... specially what scares me tat i shall be tuning 30 just in 5 years. After that may be i shall be the same me and everything shall be changing for.

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      John 6 years ago

      Im 25 and graduated with a pre law degree. I live @ home and have a wonderful girlfriend who will be making good money soon. I on the other hand make 35 k a year as a paralegal and am trying to pay off 15 k in cc debt and 25 k in under grad loans.

      I want to be a lawyer and have applications pending but I did not do too well on the LSAT. I'm hoping to be accepted to tier 3 schools realizing 3 more years of school for 120 k and whatever other debt I'd acquire from now until then.

      I feel like a loser, I feel like my gf will want a man who's making good money and has a career. I live @ home and am so embarrassed I'm not in school yet.

      Lawschool is so competitive but I want to be a lawyer so bad. I'm worried about bills and the fact that I won't be attending a great school which guarantees me a job.

      At this rate I will have debt forever and no money to settle down anytime soon. I feel so defeated...

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      Nurse nancy 6 years ago

      So I'm not the only one feeli Ike this? I turned 20 and had similar thoughts but now 5yrs later. Well I have the dream job, I love what I do. God put me on this earth to be a nurse, and I am passionate about that. My problem is relationships, I have only been in 1 relationship, and it lasted 5months. I want the husband, the companion, the travel partner, and kids. I have been doing my own thing forever now and need that best friend u can marry.

      Thank u for writing this, it helps.

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      jessie 6 years ago

      thank you so much you have no idea what you have done for me i just turned 25 3 weeks ago and i thought i was the only one feeling like this,thank you now i can start working on dreams

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      Rebecca 6 years ago

      Thank you so much for this article, and for the other people who have commented. I used to look forward to my birthday, but have been dreading my 25th ( it's in 26 days) for a year. There does seem to be a societal implication that by age 25 things should be figured out in a person's life, that the big questions ( career, significant other, children) should either have been decided or nearly so. I am also one of those people who decided to change my relationships based on these feelings of fear and anxiety; I asked my husband for a divorce 2 months ago. I am moving to a new city all alone within a few weeks, and starting graduate school in 4 months. Sometimes I wonder if I will come out of this "fear of turning 25" phase and kick myself for screwing my life up. I am so terrified of that. I am comforted knowing that other people feel this way,I thought I was rare in it.

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      Adrian 6 years ago

      It's always amazing to see your life through the eyes of someone else. Suddenly, I don't feel AS

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      Bill 6 years ago

      looking at 25 in 3 days, not looking forward to it, not necessarily afraid, but low. Alot of empty feelings, and I've been in combat and seen a lot of things outside of the U.S. already. I imagine no matter who you are or what you do, you do receive some fulfillment, but there is most likely a part of you that will always want to do more. I need to travel a lot more, even though I'm fairly satisfied with what I am all about. Great article

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      Dave 6 years ago

      I just turned 25 in April.. I just stumbled onto this and its amazing how much is resonated with me. I've been with the same girl for the last 5 years, and yeah, I still have questions. I don't know if it's right or not, if I want to get married and have kids (well the latter part is a big no right now). I feel like I have a lot to offer the world, I want to make some kind of change and impression. I want to leave a mark and not spend the remainder of my twenties and my thirties in a cubical working on projects for someone else.

      Breakout seems like the appropriate word for what I'm feeling, but I don't know where to go or what to do at this point. Still trying to figure that part out.

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      Dj 6 years ago

      Its not a club i want to be in but its good to know i'm not in it alone.

      I've felt lost for the last couple years i'm 25 now, class myself as a bright good looking guy (not to brag) have a burning desire that i'm looking for something "a feeling" to complete me.

      I feel like i've got so much to offer yet i don't know what it is my true pupose/ dream job, i've been in a relationship for 2 years my gf truly loves me but i don't give back the same feeling there is never any emotion from my side she always has to come to me.

      I don't want to break her heart but i can't live a lie much longer its not fair on both of us i'll just have to deal with it afterwards.

      I don't want the world just to be content and not feel like i'm bobbing in & out of water.

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      Charlie 6 years ago


      I can relate. I am 28, went traveling for a year and a half after graduating with a profession not suitable for me.

      After I came back, I had the same life, but I myself was different and I can actually be happy living the exact same life. This was a surprise.

      However... I am thinking of going again before I am thirty. Why? This time I don't have an answer. I also feel that this time it will be different. Less of a run and more like a calculated action plan.

      I know I need to change my profession at some part of my life, not because it would be greener on the other side, but because I used to think so much about it and I need to know how would it be.

      I also want a white fence and 2.5 kids. I feel I am running out of time. Although it is not true.

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      CHUCKY 6 years ago

      Hi, I guess everyone goes thru this when 25 - Im 25 and i was googling to find your blog... and trust me we are all in the same boat - 25 year old boat.

      Most people/ mainly women break up when they face mid life crisis..apart from that rest all is the same in my life and this year i did something similar.. I went back to all the hobbies I had.. and VOILA! now since I was also in a boring full time job i had enough money to do things i wanted to do.. like buy a super expensive camera... buy abundant amount of sketching and coloruing stuff -buy my self a car -

      Im better off than many 25 year olds.. I have not yet travelled so far but except 2 countries other than i live in and I will once im married as we are not allowed to travel alone in our culture.

      All I wana tell you is you are right about the things that hapeen and one feels but its about realising and looking around - there will be many 25 year olds worse than you.. hehehe and they might make you feel better of your accomplishments so far..

      i felt old so I thought its high time i get my fashion sense straight - i was dressing up like a 35 year oold so had to get back to a lil 21ish style to feel better -

      and religiously also i feel i lack a lot of things and I should be more sober and able to prech my children in future..


      do read my blog ..

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      tom 6 years ago

      Im 25 feel like im lost and cant find the answer its the worst stage of my life ive ever faced.

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      6 years ago

      I've spent the last 7 years trying to further my life according to what society says that I should do. I met a great girl, persued a good career, bought a house, as well as my dream vehicle and even started saving for retirement. With all of these social expectations met, I still feel completely deflated at 26 years of age.

      Although I've been thinking about it on and off for the last year or so, I've finally come to the conclusion that I don't want the white picket fence at this point in my life. It feels so wrong to want to throw away all of the things that I've strived for over the past 7 years, but if I carry on in this direction I feel like I will end up resenting it all in the future anyways.

      As of right now, I feel like I have two paths in front of me. If I follow the path that I'm on right now, which feels uncomfortably beige to me, I could have the life that we all think that we want. A loving partner, a couple of vacations a year and 2.5 kids. The only downside is that I'm not head over heels for the girl that I'm with, I don't want the Disneyland vacation, and I still don't ever see myself as a parent.

      The second path seems very unpredictable. I would love to see the world, experience all sorts of cultures, and just live life from day to day.

      The question that I keep bouncing around in my head is very similar to everyone else who has googled this same topic, is this a phase or an epiphany? Do I want to break it off with my girlfriend because I want more excitement, or because I'm just unhappy. Do I want to quit my job because of a pipe dream, or because I'm worried about throwing myself off of a bridge if I have to go to the same 9-5 for another 30 years? Do I actually want to get married and have kids or do I want to go and see what a sun rise looks like on the other side of the planet?

      I'm very thankful that there are so many others going through the same thing and willing to write about it. Who would have thought that there was even such a thing as a quarter life crisis?

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      maui 6 years ago

      I just wanted to say thank you. I really needed to read that.

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      TEE 7 years ago

      I just turned 25 a few days ago and was looking for something to make me feel better aboout this awful time in my life.i am confused as to wether i am still allowed to go clubbing and have a few tequilas or should i stay home and read a book and find a man to marry so i can start planning my life as an adult.i am so confused about my age and to make matters worse my boyfriend is 22 years old i am so jealous.maybe i should dumb him and find someone who is 30 or something.

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      7 years ago

      I'm 27, going to similar stage. The only thing is that I have been traveling since I got my MFA, and seeking for a more steady life. A routine to allowed me to achieve a more profesional studio practice. Along with that a relationship. For 4 years I have been traveling as a live and working painter (a dream Job!) but there is no "home" when you switch places every 3 to 6 months. Is a beautifull thing! It takes lots of self confidence and abandoning the "lifestyle" most of your friends and family have. Best of lucks to all of you!

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      7 years ago

      Not 25 - but I'm 24, close enough. :) Thank you very much for writing this. I am just so confused with my life, I have no idea what to do. I graduated last year with a Bachelor's degree in IT. I was one of the top people in my class, I made awesome friends, I got a job right after graduation in my field, and I'm slowly paying off my loans. It seems great. But it's not. I've just started to realize how unhappy I was in my situation. I feel like I need to stay in this job for money. I don't HATE my job, but I don't love it, and I most certainly don't want to stay in it. In fact, I don't think I even want to stay in the IT field anymore. But what else can I do? It's my degree. If I feel like doing something else, I'll feel like 5 years of my life was wasted away. I don't even know what I'm really good at, what comes to me naturally. I'm not a technical person, and I had to work HARD for my degree - but now I realize that I want something that comes to me naturally, something I enjoy doing, and something that is work but doesn't feel like work. Music is up there for me, but that's where I'm stuck. I hope I come around to some revelation as you did. Thank you!

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      Amy 7 years ago

      Thank you for writing your story, I could relate to every word. I'm so inspired to embrace this time in my life after reading this. It is so comforting to know this is normal to be confused right now. I can't wait to see what is to come.

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      anonymous  7 years ago

      wow... just reading these comments and the well written mini biography above that was supposed to help me come up with answers... left me even more crushed...

      Im not 25 yet, but im only a year away from it. I just realized that i havent even finished school, while others are already actually doing something!!!!.. on top of that some are married... i just lost my job!!... and im back living with the parents ... how pathetic is that ? now i feel even more depressed...

      im not even thinking about relationships right now ... i cant even get my priorities straight ..

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      jdr 7 years ago

      I'm 25 in 10 days.

      I love the spirit but, the thought of being laid off right now is a nightmare. Right now I'd take getting out of crappy Boston as a major stepping stone.

      And when I say Boston, I mean working in some boony-ass I-495 corridor town.

      If I had to do it all over again, I'd have just joined the Navy.

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      karen 7 years ago

      this was a legit post to read...LOVE your work...keep it up sister..

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      blah blah 7 years ago

      my bf broke up with me the day after my bday when i turned twenty-five (i've seen it coming). turning 25 is depressing enough, but the break-up was just the icing on the cake. i start to think that this is the point in my life when my youth starts to fade away, & i'm getting less attractive. am i gonna be one of those lonely singles who hasn't gotten laid in like forever, stuck home in a weekend, eating frozen food, while all my other friends are enjoying their evening with their significant other? your relationship status is just one area that you think about when you reach your adulthood.

      also, i wasn't too happy with my job. it pays well, but i work mostly overtime, weekend, and nights so my sleeping habits are screwed up and i barely get to see my family/friends anymore. I don't have time to exercise/eat healthy anymore b/c i'm too occupied and worn out from work. i am afraid that i will die tomorrow from some freak accident, and all i did was work and no fun. did i mention i don't really like my job either?

      I plan on just working just my regular 3 nights a week, with one of those days as a weekend then find a less stressful part-time job on the weekdays for supplemental income. this way i'll have more time for my friends, family, go out, date (especially lol), etc. i do know that being single (at an "old" age) is a huge factor in making me unhappy with my life right now.

      I realize that there are some things that are not-so-enjoyable that NEEDS to be done such as going back to school, work, etc., but i need to balance those out with fun so i wont be so miserable. i know death is so far, but is getting closer, & i wanna be in my death bed when i'm bout to croak knowing that i enjoyed life.

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      7 years ago

      Excellent articles, inspirational and comforting.

      I'm nearly twenty five and i feel like i have not achieved much with my life.

      No university education to fall back because i was just to lazy to bother doing any work at school.

      I recently got a new job within my work which is a small promotion but I still won't earn much more money and I am dreading starting the new role because i'm still going to be stuck in an office, 9-5. I'm single, 20 pounds overweight, been back living with the parents for a couple of years, no longer friends with any of my school friends and don't feel close to any of my current " friends".

      Its now or never to make changes, start saving money and change my life.

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      7 years ago

      Hi I'm 25 and have all these dreams but I'm a serious chicken!!

      Everything I've wanted to achieve in life I have; I'm a dentist, I'm in a long term relationship, I live in a pent house, I drive a BMW convertible and I have two kittens. I'm not gloating... None of it has made me happy :-(

      I don't think I'm depressed, the first half of this article has made me realise I'm suffering from a quarter life crisis!!

      My first dream is to own a fashion boutique. I love designing and making clothes and it paid my way through uni, where I was studying to become a dentist (not my dream!!). My second dream is to travel the world. I'm overflowing with jealousy of all the people who have the guts to just up and go. I feel like this age is perfect as I know myself now. A lot of my friends went travelling while I spent 5 years at uni yet they're not fulfilled and I re Jon it's because they went when they were so young. My third dream is to fall in love. That deep exciting can't live without you love. I've been with mh current partner for coming upto 8yrs on and off. During our breakups I've seen other people which was fun so it's not like I crave new experiences. We were engaged once but I broke it off. Why I went back after a year baffles me because nothings changed apart from the fact I'm craving the feel of other men eeeeeeevery day and I'm literally going crazy from my urges but if he comes near me I tense up. I know this is a serious worry when you don't fancy your boyfriend and you don't get any pleasure from him whatsoever, or want to kiss him for that matter!! Thing is he loves me to death and thinks that I'm The One! He's not bad looking so it's not that he's repulsive but he doesn't do anything for me. All my friends are in relationships so I'm worried that if I leave him, I'll be left on the shelf at 30. I'm 26 in two months eek!!

      Before we got back together I met someone who was perfect.... Everything was amazing!! Everything!! Then his ex of 6yrs camd back on the scene and it ended. I want that feeling again. I'd love to meet someone who has the same interests as me.... Travelling!!

      I'm so lost and don't know which way to turn. I'm this close to embarking on an affair with this lad who's liked me for ages and won't leave me alone and I've never cheated in my life but the excitement to be had is turning me to the darkside! I do love my boyfriend but I'm not in love with him. I don't want to hurt him.

      My sister who's 23, I'd off travelling later this year with her mate who's 28 and is having a quarterish life crisis. I really want to just leave my job, car, flat, boyfriend, LIFE, and go' with them!!

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      Raiza 7 years ago

      I so agree with you, I'm 25 i feel like i have wasted my years and now i'm in a relationship which i'm engaged and i don't want to settle with anyone right now. If i could i would move out but my situation is hard because i'm very attached to his family and they have helped me a lot. I know in there eyes I'm the right person for him and the worst is that i can't stop thinking of him he is such a great guy i feel bad leaving him but in the end is about me. I just don't know how i could break someones heart because i'm confused with my life i know its not fair to think this way i'm so confused.

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      Matt 7 years ago

      Hey all,

      I would like to offer some comfort to anyone reading this article, but first a little background.

      I went through a couple of distinct quarterlife crisis; the first when I was around 19 and the second around the mid twenties. Now at 34 I can happily say that I have come through the other side of the experience stronger, more rounder and clearer on my purpose, ambitions, individuality and goals.

      I am in an industry that attracts many young people and on a near daily basis I am struck by how many of them are experiencing the same challenges to varying degrees.

      The good news is that it is is possible to come through this experience. The reality is that it is not some right of passage thing that you have to endure. The challenge is that it is not something you will come through by simly holding out for it to pass or something better to come along. You really need to start and process of exploration about who you are, what makes you tick, what your passions, values and beliefs are. From this, you will start to define what you want out of life and what you can contribute to the world and to others.

      I hope that helps in some small way and adds to the great article above. I am doing some further research into this Quarterlife phenomenom to start helping the youngsters I work with and would appreciate your input if you are experiencing something simlar too. Click on the link to complete the survey and add to the research.

      Best wishes and here's hoping 2011 brings you positive experiences.


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      ciara 7 years ago

      dude your awesome i love what i just read i think about and analyze all these different aspects in my life from getting out of the party girl i had been for years and trying to discover myself thank you thank you thank you for writing this blog

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      Nstar 7 years ago

      Brilliant! I love the no-nonsense conclusion as well! It's got me thinking about the bigger picture! And what I fancy doing!

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      Garima  7 years ago

      Thanx..I will be 25 in a month..This is the first thing in the last 3-4 weeks that has made me feel elated. :)

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      charmaine 7 years ago

      amazing..very real and can connect wit it

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      Mar 7 years ago

      Well, I am becoming 25 in less than a week and I am having a mid-life crisis. I am married to a very successful physician and going to school full time, oh no, not anymore. Out of the blue I decided that I didn't like my major and I dropped two big classes. I am depress, for the pass two days I have been crying about everything; my current life, my past life, my uncertain future. My husband has his life all figure out and sometimes I think that he has outgrown me and that I dont fit in his life anymore. I am scared, so scared. I wish I could disapear for a month go back home and just think about what I want, because I dont know what I want. Do I have any talents? Maybe. I just dont know how to move on. I hope this feeling goes away, on my birthday I am going to scape on my own, maybe take a short trip to a beach in Costa Rica and decide what is my next step. I hate how most 18 year old know what they want to do the moment the start college, and I, a 25 years old woman can figure it out.

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      Jane 7 years ago

      I jus turn 26 yesturday myself thinking about many things it jus hit me that i'm in my late twentys n heading toward thirty. I guess when i was in my early twenties i jus wanted to have fun party hang out with friends, do whatever i wanted to do but yet i was going to school but not serious about my future. I'm serious about school n getting a good job,, then finding the right man n perhaps having a family. I mean i wanted to live it up but yet get serious eventually you know. I'm going for a career in the medical a career i never saw myself in but love helping people plus the pay is good. I still have many things i want to know before i settle down i want to travel, license, real license too, buy my condo, car then get serious at 30 but i might find my prince charming bfore that but if not till my early thirty. Were the author of our lifes. if settle down doesn't make you happy don't settle go for your dreams discover yourself first get it out of your system n were you ready settle. good luck people.

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      fletch 7 years ago

      dude, i turned 25 yesterday, and it was like when the clock struck 12am for my birthday, shit just got wack. i feel like my whole life has just been thrown in my face and it's like 'what are you gonna do about it now?'

      i have so many questions and concerns for my life, and it doesn't help that my parents are consistently reminding me that when they were 25, they had already birthed me and gotten married and blah blah blah.

      can definitely relate to everything posted here, comments and original post. it is good to know i'm not alone.

      thanks for your words

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      25 in 2 days 7 years ago

      As I read your article, I felt like I've been reading my current thoughts. I'm not happy in my job, actually I hate it, my current relationship is just not going to go anywhere, I'm afraid to end it because she needs me, but I'm simply not happy. I feel like I have not done much with my life, and at times I don't feel like I do not have much to show for it. As the day I turn 25 comes closer and closer, I'm still not sure what I should do. I don't want to be another person with unfulfilled desires and wasted potential. I'm working on my Finance degree, but lately, I've realized that I really don't want to do this anymore. 2 Passions in life I have are computers and cars, maybe I will start a new path in those for my careers. As far the family life, I have put thought into it, and I feel like my time to start that life is coming closer and closer. I'm glad to find out I am not alone going through this, this has given me insight and realize that our biggest fears (lay offs, end of relationships, loss of stability) can be the biggest blessings in disguised.

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      A passer by 7 years ago

      Hey cool article....I just turned 25 and it is tough....I got so many responsibilities to my family I feel trapped!! I Love them but I have never been selfish but feel like I need to live my life before it really is too late. Thanks for your article I was hungry for some advice and inspiration and it hit the spot!

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      Carly 7 years ago

      Thankyou :)

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      Max 7 years ago

      wow ! well done . Nice article .I am 25 too

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      zephy 8 years ago

      I'm not 25 yet, turning 23 this year. Graduated with a pharmacy degree, but find working in community pharmacy sucks. I like helping people, but i felt that in this area i'm really incompetent, and i guess part of that reason is due to lack of passion, self-discipline and perseverance, the 3 sure-fire way to success. Even while i was doing my degree I felt that it wasn't something i wanted to do long term.

      Despite all this I think God didn't allow me to go through 4 years of pharmacy and not let me be a pharmacist. So I'll still try to get registered. But who knows what God's plan is? It's so scary yet exciting! I would love to do something that brings me to life, because what the world needs are people who have come alive, not just living for the sake of be alive is truly a wonderful thing, even if it's a cruel world out there, but there's always hope...against all odds.

      Still wondering what is that thing i want to do deep down in my heart though... I know that I can't call my own calling, it has to be God's calling..

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      catrina 8 years ago

      Thank God I found this article !! I thought I was alone. This is a very scary time. I'm scared.

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      Tracy 8 years ago

      I'm turning 25 in 7 days and I am freaking someone else said, thank you for Google and guiding me to your articles.

      I feel lost, confused, scared, everything. I feel like ok now what....what do I have to show....

      I hate my job and my current relationship does not make me happy. I've been saying I'm going to leave but I haven't because its like I'm scared to be alone. But at this point I don't care. I want to travel. I want to move. I want to fond and discover me and figure out what truly makes ME happy... I know I won't have all the answers by next week but I'm trying to figure it out and I'm happy I found your posts....thank you.......thank you

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      8 years ago

      excellent... thanks for sharing

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      Anette 8 years ago

      Crazy...I am going through the same situation as you had experienced! Thank you for the enlightenment! It is true to not waste time doing what you don't have a passion towards.

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      Suzie 8 years ago

      I'm turning 25 tomorrow...eek! Thanks for sharing your experience, i too have been having a "where the hell am I going" freak out, and its nice to know im not alone! I started thinking about this about 6 months ago...didn't feel happy at all. ended up breaking up with my bf (of 7 years) which as hard as its been, has been one of the best decisions ever. Its allowed me to quit my job and i am about to head o/s for the big adventure i've always dreamed about (but never felt i could). anyway cheers to 25 and knowing oneself!

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      Jude Wilson 8 years ago from Texas

      Great article! I too, am in a "career change" but it's a little later than 25. However, I'm okay with it; here are a couple of websites I found while looking to make money writing. Enjoy!

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      Risa 8 years ago

      I'm so glad I read this. I've been dreading my birthday (six weeks from now) and this gives me some hope!

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      travelespresso 8 years ago from Somewhere in this exciting world.

      Are you really 25???? This article is fantastic, so well written and with a lot of "heart". It took me a couple more decades than this to gain the wisdom you have at 25. Good on you. However, as you say its never too late and I am now doing a lot more traveling and writing and I am thoroughly enjoying myself. Thank you for this inspiring article. Congrats on the one mil views too.

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      Krystal 8 years ago

      thank goodness for your articles and everyones comments. I've been 25 for less then a month and i feel like im losing it.

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      Grace 8 years ago

      I thank God for google and letting me find both of your articles. I am turning 25 in 2 days, and I've been battling with so many questions and anxiety about the present and the future. I thank you for sharing your experience and for helping me hope that with positive attitude and believing in myself, I too, can make those changes now and achieve my life time goals. Thank you!

      I hope turning 25 turns out to be the year where MY LIFE actually begins!

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      Beckett 8 years ago

      Thank God some else is on the same page! I will be 25 in six months. I never thought I feel so old at 25. I use to be a wild child. Party life with all the ugly that went with it. I loved that life. Now I work in an elementary school. I question how I got here. But I do love my life and the changes that I made. It is just hard to believe how different my life is.

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      rb101182 8 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Sophia, I couldn't agree with you more. Even though breakups are hard, they happen for a reason, that reason being that you weren't meant to be with that person and there's someone else out there that's better suited for you. 25 is definitely a turning point in your life because you suddenly realize that you're slowly creeping into adulthood and in a way it's scary, but its also a blessing because it forces you to really think about all the the things you want to do in life and then motivates you to go out and do it!

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      Sophia-O 8 years ago

      Hello, your QLC articles have inspired me to see turning 25 as an opportunity to focus on what truly counts. My boyfriend just ended our 5 year relationship out of the blue and I can honestly say it was a blessing in disguise. I also left my unfulfilling job. A year ago, I would have been terrified to be in the situation I am currently in; turning 25 in two months, single, and unemployed. But, really, life IS too short to settle for less. I am focusing on pursuing a fulfilling job motivated by the fact that there is sooo much out there to experience, people to meet, places to go. Turning 25 could be hard to swallow if you choose or it could be a turning point where you are awakened to get off your butt and pursue your dreams already.

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      r05h4n 8 years ago

      I'm 25 today!! I hear what your saying except that I feel way more immature than you. I'm still in education (medical school) and have a year to go. I'm still thinking about my career more than any other facet of life. I've not had a serious relationship yet, and am starting to think that it may never happen! Medical school has put my life on hold for the past four years - all I seem to study and 'work' (for free) - if I'm not in the library, I'm in a hospital. I love what I do but the worrying thing is that work-life balance is only going to get worse, much worse, when I qualify.

      On the plus side, I'm a guy meaning that still have time to get meet the one. Problem is however, I have no idea where to look or even what to do.....