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Dating Horror Story Chronicles: When Dates Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong
What Was YOUR Worst Dating Experience?
Tell me about your best (or shall I rephrase, "worst") dating story and I can include it in a new eBook about players.
- What was the worst thing that happened?
- Who set you up or how did you meet?
- When did you spot the first red flag?
- How did you feel afterward?
- What advice would you give to others to avoid your pitfall?
DATE is a four letter word. So is LOVE, HATE and MEHH
I remember telling my [now ex back when I was in a delusional state of marriage thinking love lasts forever], "I'm so glad I'm not single, what, with all the lunatics out there."
Of course, I was referring to all the sexual deviants, cheaters, losers, and STDs rampant these days. Little did I know my ex would soon fill many of those shoes.
Fast forward four years into my new "singledom," and all the fears I had about it and dating have come true. Yes, dating is not for anyone less than warrior material, or those who have thick skin, are okay with wearing their heart on their sleeve only to have it used as a tissue (discarded after soiling), and can find humor in the worst tragedies.
So I survived 15 years of wearing my heart on my sleeve, was dumped by my first love who betrayed me and asked for divorce unexpectedly. I think I'm prepared.
Over the years, I've used my experiences as fuel for my new found passion of writing. My characters have been real-life mentors and manipulators along the way who helped shaped my view of dating, love and added much needed humor to the mix when I thought I was going crazy.
Anywho, you can read my first excerpt about dating horror story chronicles here (it's about men you should avoid dating) and the second part in the series here (for the men who want to avoid certain women).
Why do we fear dating?
Maybe it's because even serial killers fooled their closest friends into thinking they're normal. In psychology terms, that would be considered a "sociopath" (or someone who lacks empathy, a conscience and takes pleasure in manipulating their victims). Well, now it turns out that there are many other social outcasts among us in society, including narcissists (self-centered, entitled individuals that have no empathy but expect constant admiration) and bipolar individuals (people who swing from one mood to the next, like they're hanging on an emotional pole).
Here are the most memorable (or most horrific) stories I've experienced or were told over the years. Put on your aluminum foil hats and prepare for mayhem.
Don't say you weren't warned.
- He was a son of the church people I had embraced during my divorce. Plus, he was living a few streets over (that is, when he was out from prison on parole). I heard briefly about his past with drugs and criminal history, but I was assured by the reality that he was attending church along with me. I wondered if any man would still find me attractive in my late 30's, divorced with three kids. He wondered what I would look like if he pushed my panties down (at church where we met). When he came over unexpectedly one summer night, I had one too many glasses of chardonnay and a raging libido post divorce. We'll leave the parts that would be censored out, and just leave it with, in a place that's surrounded with nature and wild life, I think what we did outside would have made the coyotes blush. Needless to say, our bliss was short-lived when I said good-bye to my hot lover one morning, only to discover he had made away with my savings kept at home. Later, after doing a Google search on his name, I read about how he was caught giving alcohol to minors, was involved in a hit and run and was accused of raping a 14 year old girl in his parents' palatial estate. And I have teenage girls of my own. Talk about regrets...
- My friend (AM) would share her stories of men who used her in her teenage years as a way to console me while I went through the "growing pains" of growing. For every time a hot young guy would use me for sex and disappear, my friend had an inspirational story about her youth, laced with betrayals, disappointments and being overlooked like an invisible version of a woman. And I know her for her true essence: she is a beacon of light in the darkness, able to navigate the most lost souls into glorious day from her unfailing ability to be a "tough love drill sergeant." Or, at least that's who [AM] is to me. She would tell me about the guys who would just assume that she would put out and it would be a favor to her. After all, the guys would explain to her, that with her looks (or curves), she should be happy any guy paid her any attention. Let me set the record straight. My friend is the most amazing woman I've ever met. She's kept me grounded while setting me free with wings to be who I am. NO ONE has the right to clip anyone's wings with their negative energy meant to keep you back. NO ONE.
- A friend was going through the motions of bad first dates just like me, only she was wiser to take a "man diet" and put the dating game to a rest. After a while, she gave up on the loneliness and decided to dip her toes back into the dating pool. Once she felt "cleansed," she started dating through many different dating sites. She'd give her cell phone number to a lot of pursuers, but unfortunately, it was met by more unsolicited "morning glory" pics than inquiries to get to know her. She asked her many followers on a self-improvement site: what is it with these men? They were all different races, financial backgrounds, etc. Why do they all send me [male body part] pics? My answer to her was that at least she knew right away that these men were not "keepers," and that she made the mistake of giving her number out too freely. Women especially need to be careful of who gets their contact information. Really dude, if you don't look like Channing Tatum, we don't want to know how you look stripped!
- I could go on about bad dating experiences, but I want to hear from you. Male or female, please share your heartfelt experience. I can keep it anonymous if you like. My writing is best when it's based on true emotions, history, feelings, events. Blow me away with your best (or worst) dating stories!
What was the biggest thing I learned from dating (so far)?
For me, the most profound epiphany came from a feeling of self doubt. I had a few flings with men I didn't even know (or hardly knew), and I realized why the sex wasn't "mind blowing." Was I not good enough as a lover? Did they think I looked like a freak? Did I scare them away with my third nipple (relax, it's just a bad wart that I'm planning to have burned soon)?
No, it was ME who was allowing them to take what they needed and quickly move on.
I have no regrets when it comes to my moments of passion. Except, maybe the guy who was overweight, sweated profusely and went limp on me. Otherwise, even my "bad" moments are a reflection of growth: I now know how I want (and don't want) to be treated.
I would love to hear your stories of enlightenment, frustration or warning to other innocents out there. The only way we can help each other is to let them know they're not alone and it's safe to share your grief... after all, there's always something positive to be learned from it.