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Online Dating How to meet your Perfect Partner. Hubpages? It just isn't going to work!
Dating Online . What are you looking for?
Now, I just want to make this very clear. I know that I am not 'all that!' But something has come to my attention and I just had to spill the beans, tell the truth and try and find some humility or sanity in this! For a start it is going to sound like I am a big headed moose! But just bare with me and I will fill you in on this little problem. It has come to my attention that there are a few, well, what shall I call them? Freebee males who seem to be under the impression that Hubpages is a Online Dating site. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am well aware of the fact that it isn't just me that they have got their beady eyes on. No, I am sure that there are plenty of females on here with this same little funny problem that I seem to have acquired. Opening my e-mails over the past few months, there seems to be a trend in men sending me messages through hubpages. For example, the latest one who I will call Jon, so I don't embarrass the poor man, suddenly decided that he would send me this message. 'Hi, Nell I would like to get to know you better, so why not send me your e-mail so that we can, well, get closer?!!'
So, I thought, What? What the hell is he talking about? So I clicked onto his profile, expecting someone foreign who was not familiar with the English language or in fact more so the ettiquette of meeting someone to follow them on Hubpages, and what did I find? An American man who looked like he was on death row! He frightened the life out of me! He went by the name of something similar to this. Coldfish! That wasn't it exactly, but trust me when I say that he had the word Cold, down to a fine art! So, I thought, well maybe he has written a hub and has got a few followers. Nope. Nothing. Zilch. Just little old me in the spotlight!
So, Okay, why do they try and 'meet' me on Hubpages? Do I look cheap? I don't mean cheap, as in, you know, cheap old doofers, I actually mean, well, cheap! Get me? No? Neither do I, I seem to be confusing everybody! Okay, let me explain.
DO I LOOK CHEAP?
Cheap hairdo, cheap makeup, and cheap everything else? In other words, She is okay to flirt with, a donut and a coffee down the ol' railway cafe' will do for her. No expensive restaurants, oh no. She would be happy with a meat pie and pint! Yeah, that sort of cheap!
Am I not worthy of paying for in an Online Dating service? It's only a few quid for goodness sake! A pound a day! Or something like that. You don't even have to meet me if you don't want too. I know the train, plane, car is expensive to use if you are miles away. But come on. At least buy me an Italian. Food that is, not the stallion kind. Well, maybe. As long as he has dark hair, a fit body and lots and lots of energy....!
So, pulleeeeesse. Pretty pulleeeeesse.
Leave me alone! It makes me nervous. It creeps me out. Go play somewhere else! Unless you are an absolute hunk!.....Ho Hum.
Why me? What did I do?
While I am at this point, I would like to add that usually I get the same as everyone else. 'Hi, nice to meet you, would you follow me please?' But not this one. Oh no. Charles Manson eat your heart out. Or somebody else's!. And he wasn't the only one. Over the last year I have had two proposals, from 'Christian men looking for a housewife who can cook, clean, sew, and be a good Church goer' ! They had a good sense of character choice then!! Not!
I have also had a Turkish man promising to 'take me away from all of zeese!' His words not mine. And a creepy man who I couldn't even see his picture because he chose not to put it up in the Hubpage profile. Offering to ' Show me a good time Nell, come on you know you want too!' Sheesh cabeesh! What does that say for my profile picture? Do I look like a secret swinger who knows how to have a good time? Please don't say yes! I will tell you now, that photo took me ages to get right. I had the light behind me, a packet of face powder, ten tons of lipstick and a wrinkle cream that beat all the rest on the market to 'lift, smooth and refine fine lines'!! You should have seen the rest of me. I aint twenty any more! Well, I am not that bad. Apart from the 'Hold in the fat, knickers.Reinforced bra, and thick baggy socks! So will somebody please tell me WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?
Please don't tease!
Now don't get me wrong. I am eternally grateful for any male attention that I can get. It doesn't happen very often. Not in my town. I am certain they all think I am past my sell by date. Or maybe the fact that I live with my ex doesn't help. But come on. Play the game. Be nice. How the hell am I supposed to date a man in America? Fly Superman airlines? And if I want to meet a Turkish man, well, I'll go to Turkey! Now that's not rocket science! So if you really, really want to meet a lady online, then go to a dating site! It can't be that difficult!
Internet Dating safety Be safe online Books by Amazon
Just a few Be Careful Tips
So, are you listening carefully? Well, I'll begin. First of all make sure that you join a reputable site. Not one of these, 'Pick your date, and off you go,' ones. Always make sure that you check who it is you are supposed to be meeting. He could be anybody.
We all know that Online dating is a slightly scary business. In real life we tend to lie to each other a little when we first meet. For example:
Hi, I am an airline pilot. (I drive a bus)
Nice to meet you, I own my own personal chain of boutiques. ( I work part time in a dress shop)
And so on. These examples are only small lies and, if you do get together, one day you will find the stories funny. What you don't want to do is meet someone who is thirty years older than you, who says he is only eighteen!
And of course, always wonder why he/or she is doing online dating. What is wrong with them? Why are they not in a regular relationship? Make sure you take notes. Even if it is when you are Online. Write it all down, and mull over it a while. And of course never ever go and meet someone without telling your family or friends first. Even if it is a reputable firm. Never trust that person. They are a stranger. Meet up in a well lit and crowded neutral coffee shop or Cafe'.
You don't have to run a detective background scan on them, but just try and meet their friends. That will usually tell you what they are like.
So, GOOD LUCK! And please don't use Hubpages again for Online Dating!
It isn't going to work! Never! Nada!
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Internet dating is probably more common than traditional dating these days, but don't make the mistake of thinking they work on the same principles. They're very, very different mediums, and each has its own...
Comments
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Hi Hailey, thanks so much for reading, nell
1/3 of couples have met online, not bad right, i agree there are plenty of online dating sites to meet your better half much better than Hubpages.
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Thanks Sue, luckily it hasn't happened since! lol!
I feel a little inadequate. No-one has ever propositioned me on Hubpages. Maybe I'll have to do the running. Great hub(S) Nell.
I never thought people would try to find the love of their life on hubpages! It does seem that lots more people are meeting their partners in social communities, I know at least 3 couples who have met each other on Facebook. I met someone randomly on omegle and we clicked immediately, it is true, when you are not looking you find love.
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Hi, Spirit, lol! this reminded me of a hubber who had a very provocative avatar, even though it was like a cartoon, all the men were tripping over themselves to talk to her. It turned out to be a man! hee hee shouldn't be gullible should they? No, I think I will stick to the picture, because I find that people seem to see you as a real person if you use yourself instead of a random photo, and when I get the emails, I just throw them in 'drafts' and keep an eye on the writer, as I don't answer them back, they usually go away! lol thanks again nell
I was thinking about it later and wonder why you don't change your avatar as an experiment? I am assuming that they are attracted your your photo image. Some people use symbols to represent themselves and I wonder if that would be a deterrent?
I also have recently learned that some women deliberately set out to lure lonely depraved men by writing sexually explicit hubs and hubs that portray themselves as vulnerable. The comments from the men are eye openers to how gullible men are but also how easily manipulated they can be when it it comes to matters of lust! The women who write those hubs are playing to the base instincts in these men are making a fortune as a result. So that is the other end of the scale showing how your experience can be used to your advantage.
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Hi Spirit, I got another one the other day! honestly! the funny thing was he said, 'give me your phone number and I will tell you a secret, but you must phone me or email me first' yeah! the secret was that he was probably an axe murderer! lol strange creatures, men, present company not included of course! hee hee
So does that mean I have to stop "whispering" sweet nothings in your ear? LOL
Seriously though, why don't these guys put up avatars that make themselves look the part. It is not as if anyone is going to find out is it? Do you understand it?
That was a great hub and it made me laugh. Thank you.
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Hi, IdeaMorphist, that's a great story! I am so pleased it worked out okay for you when you met him, isn't it funny how these things happen? thanks so much, nell
Awesome advice Nell! I met my guy playing a game of Spades over Yahoo and I could not be happier. Of course they say when you are not looking for love is when you find it :)
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Hi, Hubpageswriter, I just kept getting loads of emails from men wanting to meet me! I suspect I am only one of hundreds though, so I am not patting myself on the back! ha ha thanks again nell
Hi, Tair, I think there are many good dating sites out there, why not try one of them? you might well be suprised! thanks nell
Oh Where are the honest women who appreciate the love and are serious for marriage.I look for woman for marriage from any country,no problem her age,religion .Myemail(alsuhaibi44@hotmail.com).
Man! And I was about to look for that perfect person on Hubpages. You mean there's none? They can write, they have lots of great ideas and I'm sure they are great people too. But you are right. Many peeps here are either engaged, attached or married or/and married with kids. However, it's good to know that it's not another cliche site just to go for a blind date and the rest you know what. I enjoy the writings of wives, husbands, singles, teenagers and all alike here. Even the singles here are having a good time hubbing. The close to perfect partner exists in each and everyone of us, we just need to unleash them when the real right person strums along. Amazing hub, Nell. Hub up once again.
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Hi, Bill, thanks for stopping by, glad you liked it, cheers nell
Merry Christmas to you, too!
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Hi, mysterylady, I would never do it either! I am too much of a coward! lol thanks for the comment and I hope you have a great Christmas! cheers nell
This was a funny hub, Nell. I loved your description of getting prepared to have your picture taken - the anti-wrinkle cream, the face powder, the lipstick, etc.
Alas, I have never had anyone on hubpages make a pass at me, nor have I ever been to any online dating sites. However, I have a friend who met her husband at such a site. I am too cowardly!
Thanks for a fun hub.
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Hi prasetio, I hope that you find love whether it be on the internet or in real life, I am sure it will be soon, take care nell
Hi, Hello, Wow, that sounds horrible, don't worry, I would never date online, thanks again as always nell
I fell in love -- worshipped the ground he was walking on -- was nothing kicked in the teeth -- I am definitely cured. No thank you for dating on line.
I hope I can meet my true love after reading this hub. You give me a new spirit and motivation. Of course Hubpages is a place to write and share our idea. This is not a place to find a perfect match. But....Who knows? We can't predict something, if God want it happen. I believe this happen naturally, even for dating. Thank you very much. I hope you always healthy and success. Take care!
Blessing and hugs,
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Hi, Jasmine, ha ha he certainly gets around! I am glad I am not the only one, and thanks so much nell
wow I bet its the same Turkish dude who did the exact same thing to me!! it's good to know am not the only one being hassled..
and I don't blame them Nell.. you're an eye catcher!
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Hi, SilverGenes, not even a creepy Manson one? do you want one of mine? ha ha there are a few of them! lol why don't the gorgeous ones e-mail me? ho hum never mind! back to the boring towns folk in little ol' Marlow! ha ha thanks again as always nell
Nell, this was so funny! You look adorable in your photo and your writing is so open and fun that you probably have tons more 'in love' who haven't come forward. I've been on dating sites and they are quite fun - a lot of people meet online now so there's nothing wrong with a guy on a dating site. If there is, you've probably sorted it out faster without having to meet him first hehehe. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that not once have I had an offer from another hubber. Never. Not even a creepy Manson one. So just fluff that pretty hair, file your nails, and sigh deeply over the problem of just too many men at your door! :))
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Hi, De Greek, ha ha no I was just saying about young girls meeting men online, they can't always be trusted to tell the truth about their age, eighteen? what me? try and meet someone that age? um no of course not!.... lol thanks again nell
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Hi, Lyjo, thanks for reading it, well, you have to laugh don't you? lol some people are funny, but I think mostly harmless, I hope! hee hee
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Hi, Justsilvie, thanks for reading it, don't worry I have no intention of meeting someone online, this was just to say about a few men who come through hubpages to try and meet me, and other women, I would much rather meet a man in real life, lol thanks nell
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Hi, Erin, thanks so much for your kind words, I love what you said about the basement! yuck!! ha ha I have never thought of meeting someone on the internet but it can work out as you say, but not this way! lol thanks again nell
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Hi, christopher, Oh yeah! now where did I put that rabbit?!! hee hee great idea, cheers nell
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Hi, always, glad I made you laugh! it is funny, maybe one of these days I will check my inbox and find brad pitt! yeah right! lol thanks again nell
Now this was clever and funny. But
.... "someone who is thirty years older than you, who says he is only eighteen!"....
might imply that you have been trying to date an eighteen year old and you may want to revise that bit :-)))
Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha,......I love reading your hubs, they really make me laugh! Sorry about your little troubles, I love christopheranton's idea...Fatal attration, Lorena Bobbit...another awesome hub, take good care! Merry Christmas!
Cyberspace may be a good place to meet. But a relationship needs to have physical closeness. As an Army wife I was used to being apart but always knew we would be together at a certain time. Without a commitment to spend the future together and having a Realistic plan to do so... all you are having is a cyber fling and trust me those will end. Especially when you find out that a Real Life Relationship is not a fantasy but hard work.
So before you jump in with both feet and your heart, put your brain into gear and think of how you can do this. trust me it is not as easy you may think.
Sweet Nell, I haven't received one of the love letters that you have...It must be that sweet and mysterious look combined with your wonderful hubs packed with magic and love! You also display such wit and humor - you have to admit, to a cyberstalker sitting alone in his dark basement - you would so brighten up his world!!!!
I think online dating is exploding here in the metropolitan areas - I'm on the crowded East Coast of the US and I don't know many single friends who haven't tried it - if you don't like the bar scene and don't date people that you work with, (and people tend to work long hours) you just want to find compatible people and start someplace. Its safer here though, there are lots of reputable sites, lots of people are meeting old friends through facebook, and meeting just for lunch. Also the trick is to meet quickly for an hour lunch after first contact so that weird email/phone/chat mindgame isn't formed. Its very casual. But lastly, I must say - I'm so glad NOT to be doing it anymore! And I also must admit, I did meet my partner on facebook :) and we're perfectly matched. :)
Wonderful hub and voted you up/awesome. You know I love stopping by - and I think you have a beautiful picture - AND I completely agree...this is our creative space, where we publish our glorious works of art, (or attempts, lol), I'd hate it to become a place where people think they can find a date. (and none of us would be cheap! lol) Namaste'
Hi Nell.
What you need to do to discourage "cyber stalkers" is to write about how "Fatal Attraction" is your favourite film, and why Lorena Bobbit is your greatest rolemodel.
That should deal with any unwanted suitors easily enough.
Thanks again for one of your very funny articles.
nell your writing is soo funny.I can hardly type for lol.Who in there right mind would meet a complete stranger,hoping 'it' would be the perfect one. I loved the way you described your make-up routine.Thank you for giving me a great laugh.
Cheers
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Hi, ahostage, I definitely like being hit on, but by men I can actually meet! ha ha also I like the fact that I can see the whole of them and not just the face! lol they could be gigantic, but with a little head! I am glad that you have been to the final funeral and I only hope that this new year will be a lot happier, thank you for thinking of me, I still miss my friend but I hope to soon be able to smile about her when I think of her, take care and have a great Christmas
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Hi, CMHypno, ha ha Oh dear! I am sure that he thinks you're wonderful, even if he does need to get a life! they say there is at least one person for everybody out there and I am sure he thinks you are the one for him! hee hee thanks again nell
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Hi, Green Lotus, thanks, I did do this a bit tongue in cheek so to speak, but it was a bit creepy suddenly seeing that man grinning at me! lol thanks so much as always nell
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Hi, Martie, to be honest a few years ago I would probably have fallen for it myself, but these days I am so cynical I wouldn't trust an someone with a cheque in their hand saying I had won the lottery! lol so don't feel to bad, I just feel that if we get lonely we can sometimes fall for it thanks again nell
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Hi, Lifewellspoken, thanks for reading it, No! they haven't I am free! honest! really! how fars Canada?...... hee hee
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Hi, Polly, 'I do have a sense of humour and I have pictures to prove it!' ha ha love it! I know what you mean though, why do people go through the whole process of joining, just to send us an e-mail? very strange! thanks as always nell
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Hi, Enlydia, lol so your husband scares them off! brilliant! I just think they see our photos and think, they look nice, little do they know! ha ha I am not so sweet! hee hee
Lol! I like your Turkish guy's technique. Hilarious and honest. Some days you're just not for it, huh?? But then again, I like boys, and if they never hit on me I probably wouldn't like that either. In person, I have the misfortune of being hit on by the long-winded-and I'm always tempted to help them out with a better approach. I see why you're popular!
Saturday I attended what I hope to be my last funeral of the year and if my friends/family will have the good manners not to die in the next 2 weeks, I'll get my wish. I thought of you and hope you're doing okay. Great read!
Nell, you are a champagne lady all the way, so don't settle for any stale doughnuts! I had a creep on Facebook recently who sent me a message that said something like 'Angel, I spend hours just gazing at your picture, I can't stop looking at your picture'. As I am no oil painting the phrases 'get a life' and 'seriously weird' came to mind! That's why I use a snowman on HubPages!
You,a big headed moose? Never! As always Nell you speak words of wisdom with great humor and style! Thank goodness I've only had one or two creepy e-mails and they both made me kinda nauseous. I think anyone who gets such a proposal on HP should report the S.O.B! As for on-line dating, I do have many friends who have had great success using the more popular match services, so I know it's not all bad. Still, there's no reason not to be cautious and you've outlined the most important rules to follow. Voted way up and all the rest.
Nell, I can write a book about this topic. Remember, my second name is Naive. I’ve learned the hard way. I know there are couples who met each other online, but I will never ever recommend anyone to look in cyberspace for a partner in real life. Don’t even go romantic in cyberspace, because one thing leads to another and eventually you WANT to meet each other in person, and then..... disappointment on disappointment on disappointment.
Virtual relationships are not the same as real relationships. On line we see and experience each others in our minds, and we experience a man as wise, dignified, and a true gentleman according to our perception of whatever he says he does or did for a living. And then you meet him in real life....
Please don’t let me tell you exactly how hard reality hits you between the eyes.
Allowing personal e-mails is the biggest mistake one can make. Stupid-naive I reacted on the very first one I got. But it was not a cheap one – it was highly impressive... intellectual... spiritual... challenging arguments about a relevant topic... When I found myself again, I was hooked.
Auuuhhh! Such bad memories just make me sick!
And that because I never listen to the advice of others. I keep on living my second name, Naive, and all the way on the edge of the pit called Stupidity.
May I add a blood-curdling scream to this hub of yours: ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE PLAYING WITH SERPENTS IN THE DARK.
You don’t look cheap at all. You look friendly, gentle, kind, and able to love monsters.
Only best wishes from me to you. Hey, you are playing in HubPages Symphony Orchestra. Go c 4 yourself.
Almost forgot: Congratulations - you've hit 100 again. Whoop-whoop!
I'm just up set somebody ask you out before I could :)
Yea Nell we have friends here that say I love you to everyone but even in hubs you can tell the ones who mean more, lol, and I try to avoid those, especially when you see they have been here 5 years and have two hubs, lol, and usually those are suggestive. I am exaggerating a little of course for ones who take everything I say seriously. I do have a fairly good sense of humor. And I have pictures to prove it.
Hi Nell, I envy you...no one has hit on me yet...I think it is your eyes...they say "open and genuine"...
Maybe the problem for me is that I talk about my husband and that he had sort of a "past"...they just don't want to chance it (I keep telling myself)...I hate to admit that I just don't stir the any throbbing of the heart.
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Hi, FloBe, thanks for commenting, it is just a joky hub really, they started of making me laugh, but then I got a bit wary with the last one! lol but it's funny really, and I do appreciate any male attention! it doesn't happen that often these days! thanks again nell
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Hi, Bel, ha ha trust me, you will! I just thought it was really funny! thanks again nell
Hi, Chris, very creepy! ha ha but as you put it so nicely I suppose I will! hee hee thanks again nell
Hi, Melinda, thanks so much, you are a sweety! I suppose I should take those men with a pinch of salt, and hope they turn their attention somewhere else! lol but no doubt they do, they probably send out loads of the same thing! cheers nell
Hi, Rhonda, thanks for reading it, Oh thank goodness for that! you get them too! hee hee cheers nell
I did find my husband online, but HubPages is NOT the place to do it, that's for sure! I hope they leave you alone, Nell.
So I am not the only one getting these whacked emails. Thanks for sharing.
In case I have not told you I love you in the last few months, it is because I am busy. I love you Nell.
I love your groundedness, pure heartedness, down to earthness.
Hmnn...I better not make a comment other than I love your hub and everything you write. You are sooooo loveable.
And for this hub, I shall quote you "Now don't get me wrong. I am eternally grateful for any male attention that I can get."
Hug,
Melinda
Nell,
I want you...
To keep on writing
I need you...
To keep reading my hubs and leaving comments
I hope you stop being bothered by the wrong guys:)
Chris
Well darn! I guess I am just not that hot as I haven't gotten a single email of this sort. Boo hoo!
See Nell, you are just a hottie and they can't resist you! :P
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