Online Dating How to meet your Perfect Partner. Hubpages? It just isn't going to work!

Now, I just want to make this very clear. I know that I am not 'all that!' But something has come to my attention and I just had to spill the beans, tell the truth and try and find some humility or sanity in this! For a start it is going to sound like I am a big headed moose! But just bare with me and I will fill you in on this little problem. It has come to my attention that there are a few, well, what shall I call them? Freebee males who seem to be under the impression that Hubpages is a Online Dating site. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am well aware of the fact that it isn't just me that they have got their beady eyes on. No, I am sure that there are plenty of females on here with this same little funny problem that I seem to have acquired. Opening my e-mails over the past few months, there seems to be a trend in men sending me messages through hubpages. For example, the latest one who I will call Jon, so I don't embarrass the poor man, suddenly decided that he would send me this message. 'Hi, Nell I would like to get to know you better, so why not send me your e-mail so that we can, well, get closer?!!'

So, I thought, What? What the hell is he talking about? So I clicked onto his profile, expecting someone foreign who was not familiar with the English language or in fact more so the ettiquette of meeting someone to follow them on Hubpages, and what did I find? An American man who looked like he was on death row! He frightened the life out of me! He went by the name of something similar to this. Coldfish! That wasn't it exactly, but trust me when I say that he had the word Cold, down to a fine art! So, I thought, well maybe he has written a hub and has got a few followers. Nope. Nothing. Zilch. Just little old me in the spotlight!

So, Okay, why do they try and 'meet' me on Hubpages? Do I look cheap? I don't mean cheap, as in, you know, cheap old doofers, I actually mean, well, cheap! Get me? No? Neither do I, I seem to be confusing everybody! Okay, let me explain.

DO I LOOK CHEAP?

Cheap hairdo, cheap makeup, and cheap everything else? In other words, She is okay to flirt with, a donut and a coffee down the ol' railway cafe' will do for her. No expensive restaurants, oh no. She would be happy with a meat pie and pint! Yeah, that sort of cheap!

Am I not worthy of paying for in an Online Dating service? It's only a few quid for goodness sake! A pound a day! Or something like that. You don't even have to meet me if you don't want too. I know the train, plane, car is expensive to use if you are miles away. But come on. At least buy me an Italian. Food that is, not the stallion kind. Well, maybe. As long as he has dark hair, a fit body and lots and lots of energy....!

So, pulleeeeesse. Pretty pulleeeeesse.

Leave me alone! It makes me nervous. It creeps me out. Go play somewhere else! Unless you are an absolute hunk!.....Ho Hum.

While I am at this point, I would like to add that usually I get the same as everyone else. 'Hi, nice to meet you, would you follow me please?' But not this one. Oh no. Charles Manson eat your heart out. Or somebody else's!. And he wasn't the only one. Over the last year I have had two proposals, from 'Christian men looking for a housewife who can cook, clean, sew, and be a good Church goer' ! They had a good sense of character choice then!! Not!

I have also had a Turkish man promising to 'take me away from all of zeese!' His words not mine. And a creepy man who I couldn't even see his picture because he chose not to put it up in the Hubpage profile. Offering to ' Show me a good time Nell, come on you know you want too!' Sheesh cabeesh! What does that say for my profile picture? Do I look like a secret swinger who knows how to have a good time? Please don't say yes! I will tell you now, that photo took me ages to get right. I had the light behind me, a packet of face powder, ten tons of lipstick and a wrinkle cream that beat all the rest on the market to 'lift, smooth and refine fine lines'!! You should have seen the rest of me. I aint twenty any more! Well, I am not that bad. Apart from the 'Hold in the fat, knickers.Reinforced bra, and thick baggy socks! So will somebody please tell me WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?

Now don't get me wrong. I am eternally grateful for any male attention that I can get. It doesn't happen very often. Not in my town. I am certain they all think I am past my sell by date. Or maybe the fact that I live with my ex doesn't help. But come on. Play the game. Be nice. How the hell am I supposed to date a man in America? Fly Superman airlines? And if I want to meet a Turkish man, well, I'll go to Turkey! Now that's not rocket science! So if you really, really want to meet a lady online, then go to a dating site! It can't be that difficult!

So, are you listening carefully? Well, I'll begin. First of all make sure that you join a reputable site. Not one of these, 'Pick your date, and off you go,' ones. Always make sure that you check who it is you are supposed to be meeting. He could be anybody.

We all know that Online dating is a slightly scary business. In real life we tend to lie to each other a little when we first meet. For example:

Hi, I am an airline pilot. (I drive a bus)

Nice to meet you, I own my own personal chain of boutiques. ( I work part time in a dress shop)

And so on. These examples are only small lies and, if you do get together, one day you will find the stories funny. What you don't want to do is meet someone who is thirty years older than you, who says he is only eighteen!

And of course, always wonder why he/or she is doing online dating. What is wrong with them? Why are they not in a regular relationship? Make sure you take notes. Even if it is when you are Online. Write it all down, and mull over it a while. And of course never ever go and meet someone without telling your family or friends first. Even if it is a reputable firm. Never trust that person. They are a stranger. Meet up in a well lit and crowded neutral coffee shop or Cafe'.

You don't have to run a detective background scan on them, but just try and meet their friends. That will usually tell you what they are like.

So, GOOD LUCK! And please don't use Hubpages again for Online Dating!

It isn't going to work! Never! Nada!