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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Dealing with cheating, when is enough…enough?
Just when you think the heavenly gods have opened their gates and answered your prayers, showing you the perfect guy is possible...once again it's proven, guys think solely with one head, the wrong one. One question we all ask, and nobody seems to answer..."I f you have something so good, why ruin it? " I don't mean just with men, women tend to do it just as often. You meet someone new and go through the stages of getting to know one another, going on dates, the usual. And then before you know it, it happens, "Love", or so it seems. Big four letter word that is used more often nowadays than shakespeare and every other hopeless romantic ever meant it to...in a very misconstrued manner. People can tend to "Love" their significant other after two short months of dating. I mean sure, if you get attached so be it, sometimes it happens. However, let it be known that "I love my puppy", "I love this ice cream", and "I love that movie" is extremely...and I mean EXTREMELY different from "I love my boyfriend". Maybe that is a big reason why rushed relationships, tend to end in failure.
So what about other types of relationships? I'm sure you're thinking "what about long-term commitments.. " Those relationships that took long enough to put a title on, that seem to still end in heartbreak, and cause emotional damage equaling that of an earthquake. What I mean by all this negative talk is not to get you down, but to tell you there is a positive. There is hope after being hurt. I'm talking about dealing with a cheater. Something no one should deal with, and knowing when enough is enough.
I don't care what anyone says, love is not defined by how cute you look together, or how much your friends like him. Love is defined by the chemistry two people share. Love is nothing without trust; honesty, compromise, attraction, and a few good laughs. Its being able to sit on the couch all night and still find something to talk about tomorrow. Love doesn't need to be posted all over facebook, or I heart him forever on your notebook. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." (Corinthians 13:4)
Cheater Vs. Victim.
To find someone you truly feel for unconditionally, flaws and all, really is a great thing. What's even better, is to have that person care for you just as much. Relationships will always have their ups and downs. But how much beating can one person take before they throw in the towel? If you have ever been cheated on you know the feeling. Indescribable anger, uncontrollable thoughts, "H ow can he/she do this to me"? Everyone thinks the same thing. If you've cheated on me, screw you and go to hell. Now, if you are, or have ever been the cheater what's your point of view? Better yet let's rephrase this, the "caught cheater" How do you handle this? And how would you want your boyfriend or girlfriend to deal with it? Forgiveness is one of the many things needed to make a relationship work. As well as complete honesty, and unconditional love. I don't agree with forgiving a cheater, but think about what lead up to the cheating and what it has done to your trust towards your boyfriend or girlfriend. If the both of you decide your relationship is worth saving, that it happened once and have complete confidence it will not happen again, then good for you.
Are you happy?
Unfortunately, not every hard time ends with a hopeful face, and someone to hold your hand through it. But if it did, then they wouldn't even stress being called hard times. If you're dealing with a constant "I don't learn my lesson" type of cheater, you need to ask yourself is it worth it? Or better yet is this even healthy? If you're at a point in your relationship where your boyfriend can't even have a guy's night out without you blowing up his phone, or spending all night sitting by yours then... Houston, we have a problem. And trust me, it's not you. If your guy has given you reason to be paranoid, and I don't mean you called him once and it went to voicemail. I mean true infidelity, you need to ask yourself "Am I happy?" Because I can guarantee you when he's out with what's her face, he's thrilled.
You come first.
Give a man a snack, and it won't be long until he asks for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But when is enough, actually enough? If your partner has cheated on you, especially more than once, trust will never be the same. Chances are if its more than once, the only one ready for a relationship is you. As much as it hurts, and as much as it sucks, you and your happiness come above anyone else, especially someone who doesn't deserve you in the first place. Break ups are never easy, but hey, when you're dealing with a moron, only positive things will come from this. No way to go but up, and I promise you that. Remember, you lived before them, there will be life after. So if it's easiest for you, put all their belongings in a box and leave it somewhere. If they want it cool, if not don't sweat it. Once you've ended things with a constant cheater, there is no point to keep any type of communication. Once their things are out of your home, what other reason besides those "I'm sorry" texts and tear filled phone calls is there? And there is no reason to waste your time with those. Once a cheater, always a cheater.