ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do Opposites Attract? Unfortunately They Do.

Updated on June 19, 2013  Romance Romance

Ah Romance. Such a wonderful thing. Butterflies in the tummy, sweaty hands, fluttering hearts.

Chocolates, flowers and that wonderful first kiss. Poets and writers throughout time have quoted the attraction of opposites.

Here are two quotes that show the magic of how opposite's attract. Even though they may not be talking about love and romance the point is the same. Love side steps all boundaries. When we love we lose all sense of why we love. We just do.

Romance brings people together from all parts of the world. And strangely we often fall in love with the last person we thought we would find attractive.

John Steinbeck

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.

Hermann Hesse

We are the sun and moon dear friend, it is not our purpose to become each other,

it is to recognise each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is,

each the others opposite, and complement.

Why do we love?

The human race has an inbuilt gene that makes us want and need a mate. We feel lost without someone to love us.

Not only does our natural instinct draw us to meet, fall in love and marry, we have a biological clock that tells us we need to have children and not leave it too late before we start the wonderful thing called parenthood.

But there are other reasons why we fall in love.

The art of attraction is a funny thing. When we are growing up we presume that someday we will marry a person who is a compliment to our needs. For example, we love sport, going out, being extrovert and having a great social life. We presume that the person who is going to share our life is going to be of similar needs.

Then something happens. We find ourselves attracted to someone who is the total opposite of our idea of how our mate should be.

The guy who works in the library. The history teacher at the nearby college. Book people.

Why? Opposites Attract Opposites Attract

The Attraction of Opposites.

There is a reason for finding romance with someone who is totally opposite to you in every way. If you think about it, would you really want someone else constantly doing the same things as you, and maybe achieving a higher standard than you can reach?

Whether it be sport, academic studies or music, you want and need to achieve the highest grade that you can get. If you have a partner who is also learning in the same field can you imagine what it would be like if he or she beat you to it every time?

Then of course there is the quality time you get to spend together. They say change is as good as a rest, so surely its better if you choose a romantic relationship with someone who is totally different to you.

All week you work in an office. Your partner on the other hand is a gardener. Perfect. You have different things to talk about, places to go and maybe you will even learn to love walking around garden centres, taking trips to country houses and so on. You never realised before that it would interest you.

So that's a good thing, right? Well no, not exactly.

Personality Clash

To fall in love with your complete opposite can cause major problems. To start with you love the way he or she can keep calm while your volatile nature makes you explode at the first sign of trouble.

And what if he loves going out every night when you like to sit indoors cosying up on the sofa?

To start with, the differences are fine. You know you will find a happy medium. So what if he is untidy? You love cleaning. He loves lots of animals, you don't, but hey, you know you will get to love all the dogs, cats and strays he brings home.

But you have to remember one thing. As far as you were concerned, this partnership is for life.

And believe me, something is going to start that niggle at the back of your mind at some stage. Months or years pass, but sooner or later those differences will jump up to bite you on the backside.

Do Opposites Attract? Or is it just Fantasy?

Resolving our Differences

When we get married or live together we usually have family and friends around us. These keep us grounded and add variety to our lives. But as time goes on and family move away, friends get married and we find ourselves sitting in our own company that can be when the trouble starts. Especially if the children have flown the nest.

You suddenly find that all those quirks that made the relationship different start to drive you nuts. He still wants to go out every night, you want to stay in with him. His golf sessions seem to be getting more and more frequent, and you realise that the things you liked doing are now more or less inconsequential as you have lost track of those friends who did it with you.

But there is hope for the romance to rekindle. Take stock of what you have together. Try to become more involved in each others hobbies and friends. It can work, but you have to get out of the 'Its my hobby' situation. Listen to each other and even if you don't like their habits, try to find a middle ground.

Romance and love can be reignited. Your opposite attracts method can start to work again, you just have to find the love.

(c) Copyright Nell Rose


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)