Ending a relationship with a negative person
~ Life does not have to "suck"~
This purpose of this Hub is for me to bring words of inspiration to your heart and soul.
"This sucks!"
"I hate this place."
"My life is terrible."
"I hate my job and my boss is a jerk."
"She is such an idiot."
'What a moron that guy is."
"It is too hot outside."
"It is too cold outside."
"I hate the weather today."
Can your friends with negative attitudes affect your mood?
Short answer: Absolutely!
If you have been friends with someone for ages, what does one do if their friend is constantly negative about life? Negative about what meals they eat, negative about their job, negative and critical towards their friends and family, and critical of themselves. If you are a dear friend, you stand by your friends, right? On the other hand, if this friend is relentlessly being pessimistic and judgmental, you may need to reconsider your friendship.
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Experiencing negative events
A person’s friends, family, co-workers and community do affect your mood, health, habits, and influence how you act and possibly behave. We have all had hard times and have experienced negative events, and feel resentful or possess negative energy within us ~ but a constant force of pessimism from someone you are close with ~ could be damaging to your outlook on life. Before you know it, you are having a bad day.
Walk away
It is hard to “dump” a friend, but if your friend is truly lethal to your well being, you may need to consider dissolving the friendship. Choosing your friends and associates wisely has a profound effect on your mood, behavior, attitude, and well being. You are able to choose your friends, but not your relatives and co-workers. You may be able to dissolve a friendship, but since you may not be able to choose your family and people you work with, here are some tips on how to deal with them.
Tips for dealing with negative people (in person or on the phone)
When someone is spewing negativity off at the mouth, excuse yourself and simply walk away. At work, you can politely say “Excuse me I need to use the restroom" if you cannot be honest with your co-worker. After all, you have to work with this person everyday and do not want to cause a small battle.
If you are on the phone, interrupt and say you have to go. If you want to be brutally honest, you can say “I really cannot listen to this right now. I cannot handle your negativity and this conversation at the moment. I want to have a good day.”
Hopefully, they will understand and not take offense.
Be positive!
It is possible to positively influence your negative friend, family member, or co-worker by simply turning the conversation into a positive one. If they are complaining about the food they ate at breakfast, just remind them that they are (1) lucky to have food on the table, (2) not in line at a food bank, and (3) not suffering from starvation.
Things you can do instead of listening to negativity:
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
- Smile.
- Laugh.
- Listen to relaxing music.
- Give your dog a tummy rub.
- Foster healthy relationships.
- Reflect on your accomplishments.
- Take a class and learn something new.
- Celebrate lifestyle improvements with others.
- Think of all of the wonderful people in your life.
- Look for positive influences in your social networks.
- Walk away from the negative person and take a relaxing walk, even a short one.
Have you ever ended a friendship due to a friend’s attitude, negativity, or because they were toxic to your health?
My decision
I decided to end a friendship with someone who was very dear to me because I did not want them to ruin my day and my positive outlook on life.
If you choose to listen to a person’s complaints and critical words, then you are likely to remember to conversation later and store it in your brain. The harsh words will now be “in your head”, instead of upbeat thoughts. Do you really need your head to be cluttered with their garbage?
Alternatively, leave them behind and continue on your positive journey of healing.
Life can be good and does not have to suck.
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Comments
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Please leave your comments and thoughts...I would love to hear your experiences!
I really don't like to end friendships, but they do end when they are no longer positive or I let them die. I have known a number of "friends" that had to be let go. I love them still, but they don't seem to love me!
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ruminator, I agree, it is hard to end a friendship. Thanks for sharing your viewpoint.
Great points to make, Marlo - I actually have 2 very negative parents coming for a visit...I shall have to retalk myself into doing these things! I love them but they can be so negative. Timely advice!!!
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akirchner, I am so happy to receive a compliment from a well-respected Hubber such as yourself - thank you for reading my Hub. I hope my tip on 'positively influencing' your parents works - you may be surprised if you turn the conversation into a positive one...I would love to know their reaction. You never know until you try...
Boy, this is a real trick situation. Thanks for the tips on breaking off a negative relationship. Voted up, useful!
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Thank you so much 2besure! Your comments mean a lot to me.
Hey MarloByDesign,
Really nice hub, well written hub!
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Thank you Miss Lil' Atlanta, I appreciate your comments. Also, I really enjoy reading your Hubs on dogs...I am definitely a dog lover!
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Thank you for your comments, 2besure! Thanks for voting 'useful' on my Hub - I appreciate it so much.
This can be an upsetting situation, though you're right! You can't always let people put you on the negative side. I voted this hub - useful! Thank you for your vote Mario!
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Thank you SBerg! I appreciate your feedback.
wow, these are some excellent tips! There's only so much negativity that we all can take, and sometimes we do need to end relationships. Great hub.
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Thanks scoop! I REALLY appreciate your comment. Exactly, there's only so much negativity that we all can take. You said it perfectly.
I have a friend who is almost more like a relative to my family. She is a nice person, but talking to her drives me crazy. It is my own fault because I was in the habit of calling her every day. Sometimes, I would slip and say what I was thinking which never, ever made her happier and only made me uncomfortable. I now limit our conversations. I know she wonders why but this way I still have a relationship that I value and my sanity as well.
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Sundaynews, excellent point - you can still have a relationship that you value, but limited or guard your interaction.
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Sundaynews, excellent point - you can still have a relationship that you value, but limit or guard your interaction.
Great article about how to deal with negativity. I have known a few in my life and they get old quick! Just walk away and keep walking. Voted Up!
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Thank you Multiman, keep walking is right, but try to remember any special memories if you can.
"Walk away from the negative person and take a relaxing walk, even a short one."
I have done this before and it works wonders! Just try not to ruminate on the negative interactions while you are doing it!
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Thanks Joe and wonderful point!
Excellent strategies for dealing with the negative people in your life. It is hard enough dealing with the general negativity in the world without having to cope with close friends. They certainly can bring you down.
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Karanda, thank you for stopping by, and yes, it is hard to be sheltered from the general negativity in the world, I agree!
I so agree with you and I felt guilty before and have some relapse sometimes but since I learned about life, love, and positivity, vibrations and faith...there is no reason that I would let anything or anybody stop or slow me on my journey. I do realize that I used to be one of those toxic friend in the past, at the time of the great darkness. LOL SO, I dealt with a number of people and situation last week... close and demanding. Some I had to avoid because too aggressive but for the most, I let them talk and try to give them a positive outlook and help them realize that they need to take responsibility in the situations so they can really change their lives and be happy. Thanks for the hub, I will definitely pick up some tips. It is always cool to read somebody else who sees things and understands the many layers of our universe. Life is wonderful, let us be able to see, enjoy it and share it.
Love and peace upon all.
I look forward for more articles like that. :-)))
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NiaLee, your comments were so very touching and I really appreciate them and your words of wisdom. You are definitely on a journey of healing and seem like you have made a lot of positive changes in your life. LOL, I am good about writing on saving money and living a happy, yet frugal lifestyle, and am on my journey as well. :)
I will try to write another Hub on a similar topic...will keep you posted. Have a great week! :)
Marlo,
So true. I have recently allowed a family member to break off our relationship. Does it hurt, yes but is it better for me in the long run. The bottom line, is that sometimes if you love someone you need to let them find themselves on their own. And to see what effects their negativity has not only on themselves but others as well. Thank you for your hub you made me feel better about my decision.
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Lindy's World, you made me feel better about my decision too..and so true "... to see what effects their negativity has not only on themselves but others as well." I understand exactly what you mean.
Fantastic! I've really come to realize the power of positive attitude over the last few years. Love this article!
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Brian Burton - The power of positive attitude - I love it! Thank you!
Thanks for your anwser friend, I actually was absent because overwhelmed what the big N again: too much work and not enough time to meditate relax and organize the best way. Now, I optimize and move on. Shifting is the best thing that happened to me since.... birth!!! my senses report to me differently when I remain aware... live is so precious. being able to appreciate it is just wonderful...and make the best of it too!
My negative relationship was actually with my significant other. It became overbearing. Very quick to get riled up, over reactions. It's hard to give up what started as a nice relationship. Those true colors cannot be denied and walking on egg shells gets tiring. Besides, it seems that he did not recognize his behaviors and felt like the victim. Frustrating. Thanks for this hub. It is inspiring and gave me some very useful tips:)
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NiaLee - I glad you shifted & mediate and relax. Sounds good to me!
pedrn44 - Sometimes it is hard to realize that the ones we are most close to cause us so much pain. I look forward to hearing back from you (if my tips helped). Thanks for your nice comments.
I totally relate to your hub. I did end a friendship because this person constantly was bringing me down with their negativism. It was so draining and there was never a positive comment. Ugh!
Dwelling in the positive because life is too short...
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gryphin423 - Yes! draining all of your positive energy is not healthy at all. As hard as that was, good for you for ending the friendship.
Yep, I am going through some quiet time and have decided. I have been overwhelmed by vampires and I really can't take it no more... I need my me time, my kids time, my couple time...and to enjopy myself, appreciate life... and let the vampires go. Frankly, sicking for hours on phone and then, I am tired, down and unproductive.
I am refreshing and I am definitely encouraging people to take some time out...silence is so healing sometimes. Love to you all.NiaLee
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NiaLee - you must be a mind reader...and I TOTALLY understand. More people need to think like us - as we *make* life WAY, WAY too busy. We do that to ourselves, in my humble opinion.
My healing really took off when I began to look for more positive relationships and either ending or decreasing contact with negative or toxic people. Although it's great to step away from positive people because they affect you in a negative way, the opposite works as well. if you remain positive around these same people and not let them command the relationship, you can help them become more positive.
A smile and laugh goes a long way.
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GoGreenTips - thanks for the comment. Do you mean "Although it's great to step away from NEGATIVE people because they affect you in a negative way"? Excellent tip on remaining positive around negative people, although for me personally, sometimes it is wearing to hear the repeated toxic comments.
Oh... I think is right .. I used to have a negative friend, It was very unhappy. I remember that one day leave her alone and go for walk with another friend, Just only per day , She was angry me , And she said If she were me, She wouldn`t do like that , hmmm.. what should I do.
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Sok yada - Maybe your friend was having problems and needs support, but your friend - if they were your friend - should not be mad at you. If this is a good friend, hopefully you can tall it out and remain friends. However, if this friend is constantly negative, you may want to reconsider how unhappy your negative friend makes you feel and move on from this relationship.
It's true it's better to be alone than be with people who bring you down.
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Jpanaro982 - I agree and thank you for reading my Hub and leaving a comment.
Great article. I am actually planning to write a new Hub on this very subject, about a friend I had to let go because it got so toxic, and the toxicity came out of the blue!
I realized that negativity happens from time to time and from person to person, especially those who are introverted!
Also there is a ripple effect henceforth be sure to consider carefully whether you should end the r/s if you have been real good and mutual friends for a long time!
Reason is that sometimes your good friend can feel down and out due to having subconsciously received negative words/discouragements from other people (either family or friends or working colleagues) or happen to be unwell and spilled over to you... remember to be gracious as you can also be in that same spot... when one is down, the other should lift him/her up... that is what friends are for...
Unless you do recognized that you are in a toxic r/s because the person is always critical and abusive thus causing you to feel downcast most of the time! Then i say call it quits for health reasons and for the sake of your well-being!
Some useful tips, and yes, negativity definitely affects us. Peace.
Great advice. If it's not a temporary phase they are going through, it's important to examine what you're getting out of the relationship. Bad moods and 'tudes can contaminate others. It's a little trickier when the Negative Nellie is a close relative, but you still need to concentrate on your own health.
Good points, some people can really drain you !!
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