- Gender and Relationships
Friends With Benefits: Is This A Good Idea?
Actually, I am a bit too old fashioned for this type of arrangement to work for me. Nevertheless, for some men and women, this might be a good solution. Many people still consider premarital sex a taboo, but in this day age people around the world are putting marriage off until later in life. Things in this economy are especially hard with people not being able to afford lavish weddings, so are single people supposed to just shut up and put up? Well, I think if single people feel okay with friends with benefits arrangement that might be a better solution as opposed to seeking out one-night stands. Now I am not saying that this is something I would do because I am just too jealous, and perhaps too old fashioned, but it is far preferable to a string of one night stands.
There is a level of trust with a friend that people do not have with people they just hook up with, so I can see why some do feel comfortable with these arrangements. You are friends and can share experiences with each other, and with this type of set-up, there are not expectations on the part of any party. However, that is where the trouble can begin.
Many people can be friends with benefits without the jealousy involved, but is that realistic for all people an all circumstances? What if one friend begins to feel a stronger attraction to the other friend, and then wants more? This could make things messy if one friend is dating someone else, and cause the other friend to act out and become jealous. If envy is not a problem for either party then this may be an ideal arrangement, but not always realistic.
Call me uptight, but I like knowing what I can and cannot do. Not saying a friends with benefits scenario will always lend itself to no boundaries, but it certainly does blur the lines. One of the parties could begin to cross the lines of friendship, and begin to do things that annoy and insult the other party. Friends are the people you can gloat about and complain about your relationships with, so when you start mixing the two the channels may become a bit murky.
Yes, You Can Do Much Better!
Hey, I am not trying to knock the friends with benefits thing, especially if it is truly what you feel most comfortable with, but do your really believe that is all you deserve? Seriously, there is someone for everyone, and settling for this arrangement during times of a dating slump may not exactly boost your self esteem. I know some people really do not agree with that, but it is nice to have friends, and it is nice to have lovers. Of course friends can always evolve into lovers, but some level of commitment and security might be preferable to the no strings attached thing. However, this is just my opinion, and honestly I do admire people who are secure enough not to be jealous in situations such as these. I myself would not be, but it is good to see so many people are able to handle what they choose. Think about it for awhile, and really consider if having such a friend is the best thing for your life. Why not take up a new hobby, or read a book instead? You deserve to meet someone that will commit to you, and if they do not want to commit, then they can always be a friend.