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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back: Guidelines
What can you do to get your ex girlfriend back?
This is one question that runs through most guys minds after a big break up. Even if you try not to, you find yourself thinking "what if I had done this?" or "what if I had said that?" differently. By changing that one action you could have possibly saved your relationship. Many guys will even begin planning apology letters in their heads; thinking how they would take back everything they said if only [insert name] would come back…
Unfortunately, sometimes you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a break up. Women can be emotional and may not even know what is making them feel the way they do. In the end you both could just end up wasting energy and time trying to figure out what went wrong.
If you are here, then you have probably (and unfortunately) lost the girl already and are way past the figuring out what went wrong part. You are now focusing your energy on winning her back. So let me see if I can possibly help you out.
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Forget About the Relationship For A While
The first thing you should do if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is to just sit back and forget about the relationship for a while. Put your energy into other activities like meeting new people, picking up a hobby, trying out an instrument, whatever you can find. Do something that will keep your mind occupied and help you to forget about women in general.
It will definitely be tough, but allow yourself a couple of months to make these changes. This is extremely important because it will give you a chance to grow and learn a lot more about yourself and the way you perceive women. You may not realize it but taking some time away from your ex works wonders.
The effect that you are looking for with this strategy is for gradual changes to occur in YOUR life and to figure out what went WRONG before. You want to take this time to change the way you perceive relationships and to fix bad habits or learn what mistakes not to make the next time around.
Keep looking up and reading articles on relationships if you are serious enough about making it work. Everything you learn, even if it seems like the same information over and over again, will help you become better at it. After this little, lets say, vacation from your relationship troubles, you may already have a much better idea of how to approach your ex.
Look Inside Your Heart
The questions you should be asking yourself by this time are, do you still want to get your ex girlfriend back? And if you don't, are you ready to move on? Look inside your heart and make sure you know what you really want. If you are reading this, then most likely you DO want to get your ex girlfriend back. So why am I even bothering trying to ask? Since you know that you want to get back together with her and I know it, then it is time to figure out how she is feeling about you.
This is where you have to focus on a little strategy. You do NOT want to simply beg her to come back to you. You want to use your head when you try to approach her, not your emotions.
Play things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time away from her, then she is probably missing you as much as you missed her (If you want to learn a tip to finding out if she likes you again or not, read this article to learn how). Play hard to get--not a lot--but just enough to show her that you are doing fine without her and not balled up in a corner somewhere miserable by yourself. Once she sees this, it will help inspire her to really rethink about your relationship together.
Now is the time when it will become clear wether or not getting back with your ex is really meant to be. When you talk to her try not to overanalyze her responses too much. It may prevent you from acting the right way if you keep assuming that every friendly gesture is a hidden message screaming, "come back to me!"
Start over as if you started from the beginning. Take her out to a nice dinner, or for a walk on the beach. Maybe even a picnic. Do something that allows you two to be able to talk one on one. You want to do this so that you can re-get to know her and she can get to know the new and improved you.
Remember, take it slowly. Get to know each other again and keep in mind what you did wrong last time to prevent making the same mistakes as before. If you have to, apologize to your ex girlfriend and try not to overanalyze her reactions to you. By not overanalyzing you won't come on too strong and will give her time to adjust back to seeing you again.
Just put these guidelines to use, and be yourself. So get out there! She's waiting for you.