- Gender and Relationships
Guide to Happiness: Successful Relationship
THREE EASY STEPS TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
I remember being a young girl in my early teens, probably about 13 years old or so. My mom was having a nice mother to daughter talk about the secrets to a great relationship. I always listen to when elders speak to me for they have walked many roads and have acquired alot of knowledge from many life experiences. My mom is wise and she would never lead me astray with false knowledge. The following three tips she gave me are all that I have really needed.
My husband Kevin and I have been together for amost 17 years and those years have been wonderful. We have had only about 4 or 5 arguments in that time period and it is due to my outlook and the advice that my mom gave me. Please take these 3 tips and apply them to your own relationship.
1) Always treat your spouse as though they are not going to be here tomorrow.
Think about this and I mean really think about it. Imagine the following........You are at home and your spouse is out running local errands. THey are out and about going to the grocery store, picking up the dry cleaning and a movie for tonight. What should have taken only a couple of hours is taking much longer. As the clock ticks on minute after minute, the worry starts to set in. Yout ry to call the cell phone but there is no answer as the machine comes on. You call again and again with no response coming from the other end. Many hours have passed and you hear a knock at the door. When you open the door you see a police constable with another officer who advise that you better follow them to the hospital as your wife/husband has been in a very serious car accident. You arrive at the hospital in a panic only to be told that "they" aren't going to make it. Oh the words you should have said but didn't as you took them for granted after all thes years. Oh how you wish you could have said how much you loved them yesterday and all the yesterdays that have gone by. Oh how your heart aches to be close to them and forever more. There are so many things that go through your mind....the things that you wished you had said...the things that wished you never have said..... The love you wished you gave more of to them........You wished you could take back any hurtful comments or thoughts about them that have existed in your mind....When put into a situation like like it really puts a different perspective on your spouse and what they mean to you.
When you think about them not being here tomorrow you will appreciate them more today and everyday from this day forward. We never know if tomorrow is going to come or not so lets love each other as though today is the only day that we have. Love your spouse, appreciate them to the fullest, laugh that their quircky ways, laugh together and often, look back at the great photos from your yester years and remeber the enlightened feeling that the two of you shared. Appreciate having each other in good times and in bad. They are there for you always and you can depend on them for anything or you should. Always give a kiss upon them leaving the house and say "I love you" often and really mean it.......(think about tomorrow not coming) Embrace ever moment that you share together and be mindful of each and every moment together. when you treat your spouse the best you can you are setting yourelf up for true success. Every NOW moment is great.....with each moment being great....all days will be successful and then a week from now you look back and the past week has been pure success. Don't wait for the bad news to come calling on your doorstep before you realize the changes that you should have made but didn't. Make each day count with your true love....hug them...appreciate them....love them as though today is your last day with them for one day it will be the last day. Build something special....something memorable....don't fall intot he trap like others are in where disrespect is evident through hurtful words and actions. Protect your love, embrace it and nurture it. So take this first step and apply it today.....remember........ALWAYS TREAT YOUR SPOUSE AS THOUGH THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BE HERE TOMORROW!!!
2) Aways treat your spouse like a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Rememeber when you first met your other half...how excited you were to see the car pull in the driveway. Oh, how you looked forward to seeing her come to the door looking so beautful with a big smile. Remember how he treated you with respect, clean shaven and the smell of cologne wisping around him. Remember how nice he always looked with the nice little cards and presents that he gave you. Rememeber how light things seems. Everything was great...on a high....smiles, laughter, young, fresh and new. Og what a feeling. Well...you know what that feeling never has to go anywhere. I don't understand why some people get sooooooo serious after getting married. Sometimes things start to slide from every avenue within some people.....from the interior of their words and thoughts to even the exterior with the way they look and even through their actions.....things seem to change year after year for some people. Seriousness sometimes take over along with a host of other issues....the lightness of fun fades but it doesn't have to.
I belive that we should act as though we are boyfriend and girlfriend with the strong bond that is formed after many years of being together. Let's take things a little lighter, act a little silly sometimes and bring forth the laughs and smiles.....its so good for us. Take care of yourself and take pride in yourself. Pick up their favourite magazine or chocolate bar from the local variety store. Pick up a simple card....it will cost all of a buck or two to let them know that you are thinking about them and love them. Little reminders are so nice to receive and it doesn't have to cost alot either. So pretend that you are boyfriend and girldfriend....just kinda dating in a fun way. Kevin and I tell everyone that we are still dating. For almost 17 years were have been dating....keepin it light we say. Others always chuckle. And remember laughter and a stress free environment will keep you young....on the outside and on th inside. Enjoy the fun and lighter times ahead.....you will thank yourself for a good change made in your life.
3) ALWAYS AVOID NEGATIVE OUTSIDE INFLUENCES.
This is one to be weary of for those negative outside influences come in many forms. You see.....in order to a realtionship to be successful....your spouse must be a priority. We cannot come at the bottom of the list with other things coming ahead of us. So many things come ahead of some spouses like......drinkin with the boys.....sporting events or sports in general (sometimes god forbid if you talk while the game is on.....and now adults are getting hooked on those silling video games......some people play for hours and hours and are oblivious to their life that is passing away with each game played. Other negative influences can come in the form of alcohol.......big one....REAL BIG....this can ruin your realtionship, body, life and business...it can suck you into a pit that is so big you can't imagine getting out as it is easier to stay in the pit and continue on as usual. Sometimes friends can be a negative influence also....bewre some friends are not friends at all....many wear false faces saying things that they know you want to hear.....they may think so opposite as to what they are saying. Hve you ever come across people who are not happy for you when something goes well....I have....it shows are over their face....unreal isn;t it but thats where the ego comes into play and thats another HUB altogether. Misery likes company and sometimes people will ruin a good things if you have one because they are envious and don't want to see someone have something that they don't have. Be weary of how much time is dedicated to your career, friends, sports,, consumption of alcohol, your old hot rod or motorcycle. Remember if what you are partaking in is not condusive to a successful realtionship....give it up. If its not positive to yourself, spouse, environmnet, mind, body or soul.......give it up!
Life doesn't have to be a struggle or up hill battle. I am human just like everyone else. I am just the same as you only with differing inner thoughts and a different outer costume. Its how I apply my mind that is important and it is reflective in my emotions and outer life circumstances. I intend on being here for a long time and I intend for my life to get better and better....more enlightened in every sense of the words. I want to experience the experience of life to the fullest with all the amazing feelings that it has to offer. Empty yourself off all negativity, negative thoughts and especailly negative past experiences. They are done and over with....forgive yourself and move on to a better tomorrow. Enjoy each new day as each day is a gift. Life is a gift and don't forget it. May you all have a great day and many pleansant tomorrows. Happy realtionships to you all!!
Tammy Mackey www.walkthehappyroad.com