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How To Start An Open Relationship

Updated on October 13, 2009

An open relationship can be an excellent way to expand your horizons. You'll met new people, forge new relationships, deepen bonds, and increase your immunity to a whole range of new diseases. It's pretty exciting, and those are just some of the reasons that more and more people are turning to open relationships.

There is still a great deal of resistance out there however. Many people still believe that monogamy is the ideal, and that open relationships are simply excuses for people who cannot get their sexual impulses under control to sleep around whilst still enjoying the benefits of a committed relationship. They claim that one should not have one's cake and eat it too. But they're wrong. The obesity epidemic alone proves that much. Around the world, people are having their cake, eating it, and going back for seconds. Sure, there are some downsides like hear disease, diabetes, and the misery of obesity, but nothing is perfect.

Here's how to convince your old stick in the mud partner that you should be in an open relationship.

Point out the positives. In an open relationship, both your needs will be perpetually fulfilled. You will be floating in a permanent haze of satiated sexuality as your extra lovers feed you grapes, clean out the cat's litter box, and make sure your children are dressed for school. Jealousy will not be an issue, as you will both be totally secure in your never ending love for one another.

If you're married, remember that which God hath joined, dare no man tear asunder. Ignore the divorce statistics, they probably did the marriage ceremony wrong in those cases. You have to say the words just right for the magical charms to work.

If else fails, try some cliches. A cliché is an excellent way of justifying something that otherwise seems completely asinine. Feel free to amend them to suit your purposes, they're cliches, not commandments.

Variety is the spice of life! Two birds in the bush are awesome! Many hands make light work! Any 'friend' of yours is a 'friend' of mine! (Do the air quotes in the air with your fingers when you say that one, people LOVE air quotes) All's fair in love and war!

The exclamation marks are essential, make sure you say these enthusiastically and with conviction. If it helps, imagine you're a used car salesman trying to flog off an import with a wound back speedometer and rabid rats living in the engine.

The important thing to remember is that anything worth having is worth fighting for, and nothing is going to make your relationship sweeter than night after night spent fighting over the issue of extra sexual partners.

Good luck!


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    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

      This sounds like a suicide dive to me! Of course, you are being sarcastic, aren't you?

    • zduckman profile image

      zduckman 6 years ago

      Hmmm Jealousy not an issue...not sure about that one. What happens when your partner has a date with his/her lover, and you are home alone with a pint of Ben and Jerry's???