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Haneef R. Jordan ~ Life After Infidelity

Updated on December 2, 2018
For Haneef, life after infidelity does not mean you need to remain a victim.
For Haneef, life after infidelity does not mean you need to remain a victim.

I wanted to do this article so that we can become more aware of our responsibility when we say I DO."

— Haneef Jordan
Haneef with her two sons and husband.
Haneef with her two sons and husband.

Haneef Jordan is a successful business woman, a mother, devoted wife and Christian. So, when infidelity came along to challenge her faith and very essence, she determined that she would not remain a victim.

In her professional life, Haneef is a innovator and encourager, an author and radio show host. She manages her two teenage son's talents and aspirations, and runs a consulting agency called, The Stylish Momager, an agency she created to show parents how to help their children tap into their gifts.

While she has decided to seek counseling for herself and for her sons, she has encouraged her husband to do the same, for healing. And for now, Haneef has sought legal separation and will work through the hurt and betrayal because she knows she has to remain strong for her family, her business, and for her ministry.

"I wonder what state of mind my husband was in to risk his entire family after 18 years of marriage. The woman he had an affair with is married and I later discovered, has a history of sleeping with married men" says Haneef.

"I’m just now in a place where I can speak about it. Seeing how not only two weeks after we lost our daughter, my husband made the decision to cheat. It’s heartbreaking and sad to be honest. But God is a healer.

My Husband is fighting hard for his family. However, he’s learning a valuable lesson that his fight is within. He first has to work on himself. This is now about time and God. Yes, I know that for sure. I’m just leaning on God at this moment."


I interviewed Haneef recently about this alarming trend where some 40 to 50 % of all marriages are ending in divorce, and a large percentage for the reason of these divorces is infidelity.



Q&A with Haneef

Thank you for this interview Haneef. I know that this will be a blessing to someone who will read this article.


RW) When Beyoncé came out with her hugely popular and successful album 2 years ago, Lemonade, she aired out a lot of "dirty-laundry" on the subject of infidelity that seemed to empower women, in particular, to be more vocal about it. It also seemed to be somewhat therapeutic, and she and Jay-Z seem to have overcome it and move on with their marriage. Why did you want to do this article? Who do you want to hear your story, and what have you learned from this experience?

HJ) I wanted to do this article so that we can become more aware of our responsibility when we say I DO. So we can understand what true forgiveness looks like. Knowing that forgiveness doesn't equal trust or staying in a relationship. I want young and seasoned husbands and wives to hear my story. However, I also want the ones who are thinking about marriage to really understand what that means. What it means to be a wife and husband. What I've truly learned from my experience is that too often we replace our mates with God. We make them our God. And when they show us that they are not and of course cannot live up to that idea, we hurt, we hurt hard.

It brings me back to the word of God. He says to put ALL your trust in him. (He never said to put your trust in man) What I mean is when we rely on God solely and trust in him that our mates will be what God has told them to be. Then and only then can we experience wholeness. I've also learned the meaning of guarding your heart. I didn't do that at all in my marriage.

RW) I know that this is a delicate matter that can't just simply be defined in terms of statistics. Relationships are complex unions, as we are complicated beings, full of emotions and impulses that many times dictate actions from the norms given a set of certain circumstances. That being said, the statistics do paint a picture perhaps of our human behavior. The average divorce in the United States, according to a national survey poll, shows that 45 to 50% of married women and 50 to 60 % of men will cheat on their spouses. According to the American Psychology Association, Infidelity accounts for between 20 to 40 % of all divorces. What does this tell you about our society as a whole when it comes to the institution of marriage?

HJ) Funny you should ask that question. What it tells me is that we've lost the ability to have self-control. Something the word teaches us about daily. We also aren’t truly dealing with the realness of marriage. Marriage for many is a fairytale when in fact it is not. You should be called to be someone’s wife or husband. It's not easy and requires work. We don't fall in love (being in love is work and history and overcoming). We are dealing with a society that seems to fall in lust quite frequently. We have a lot of broken souls masquerading as adults.

RW) A recent Gallup poll showed that 62 % of those surveyed say they would leave their spouse if they discovered an affair had taken place, and about 31 % would try and stick it out. From a Christian perspective, doesn't the bible give infidelity as the one way out of marital vows in God's eyes?

HJ) Yes, from a Christian perspective it most certainly does. And if you choose to end the marriage, you have the right. However, the beauty of the word of God shows us just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It all depends on what took place with each individual. It's not easy for anyone to stay, man or woman, especially if you have full details, like I do. If you've been cheated on it's up to you on how you want to proceed and start your healing process. Pray often, write your journey down, and make a sound decision for yourself.

RW) What have you decided to do in your own personal journey with this matter of infidelity? Are you working through it, and how would you counsel other women who are facing this very painful situation?

HJ) Well, on my journey I've decided to legally separate. Get my own place with our children and go to counseling for myself, as family and as a couple. Each child is in counseling so they have a safe place to express themselves. That is how we are choosing to work through it. This is what's best for us.

As for counseling other women or men who are facing this unthinkable situation. Honestly, I wouldn’t dare try to do that. I am not qualified to counsel on this kind of pain. This situation requires a professional to help with the trauma that is attached to it.

RW) If you were a marriage counselor, speaking to a young couple who have become engaged and want to start a family, what words of advice would you give them after your experience Haneef?

HJ) My words of encouragement would be, become and stay friends, even in the moments when your emotions can get the best of you. Show grace and compassion to one another; be honest about what you feel; treat each other with respect. Also, watch your words to others about your mate (be very careful with that); and most importantly, seek God together. Stay connected to the most High. Celebrate one another. Embrace growth and support each other’s dreams as you build whatever that it is that GOD has called you to do. Forgive often so your heart is free to love without resentment.

RW) I know that you have a ministry Haneef and have been a beacon of strength for young women and families through your ministry and your prayer sessions and talk show. How can people find your ministry on social media?

HJ) Thank you so much. I have realized that God has called me to uplift the family unit as whole. As you can see your calling will not come with exemption from life's challenges and trials, but then who better to provide ministering.

People can find me on social media, my Instagram is: @haneefrjordan, or my website at: www.haneefrjordan.com All details of what I am doing and books that are coming will be there.

Thank you for this opportunity to share my truth.


"When You're Walking in Your Calling you Can Deliver a Powerful Message "™

Mrs. Haneef R Jordan - www.haneefrjordan.com



Haneef's Photo Gallery & Spiritual Quotes

In order to believe in and experience your own sense of worth, you must make a decision that you are worth believing in. - Brad Clifton
In order to believe in and experience your own sense of worth, you must make a decision that you are worth believing in. - Brad Clifton
Haneef's "Stylish Momagers" is a consulting agency she runs to counsel mothers on helping their children find their innate gifts.
Haneef's "Stylish Momagers" is a consulting agency she runs to counsel mothers on helping their children find their innate gifts.
You better run when someone shows you they will not change. They are content in their addiction of negative cycles. That’s not a safe place for you to be. - Haneef
You better run when someone shows you they will not change. They are content in their addiction of negative cycles. That’s not a safe place for you to be. - Haneef
Celebrate life. Unless you celebrate each day of life, you are not truly living. Let each day be a festival of joy.- Brad Clifton
Celebrate life. Unless you celebrate each day of life, you are not truly living. Let each day be a festival of joy.- Brad Clifton
Decided to live in my complete truth. And embrace who GOD designed me to be. - H
Decided to live in my complete truth. And embrace who GOD designed me to be. - H
Haneef hosts a business networking event where she displays her passion for entrepreneurial ventures.
Haneef hosts a business networking event where she displays her passion for entrepreneurial ventures.
Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.. - Brad Clifton
Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.. - Brad Clifton
Sometimes you gotta not wear the makeup. Love yourself.. be free and enjoy the moments -- Haneef
Sometimes you gotta not wear the makeup. Love yourself.. be free and enjoy the moments -- Haneef

We [Society] aren’t truly dealing with the realness of marriage. We make it seem as if it's a fairytale when in fact it is not. You should be called to be someone’s wife or husband. It's not easy and requires work. We don't fall in love (being in love is work and history and overcoming) We are dealing with a society that seems to fall in lust quite frequently. We have a lot of broken souls masquerading as adults.

--Haneef Jordan

What Are Your Thoughts About Infidelity and Would You Stay or Leave, and Why?

Leave a comment in the comment section below ~ we want to hear from you about infidelity as Haneef and her family, like so many, deal with this issue.

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    • profile image

      Anjanette Robinson 

      6 days ago

      Great article! Thank you for sharing your story story Haneef its inspiring and I LOVE it Keep up the awesome job.many will be touch...yes coming from A Christian woman like myself I too am in A marriage coping with infidelity. I choose to stay in.yes its very painful and a healing process that IM trusting GOD with for my husband and myself Only because I believe God plans our greater than ours . For example, for me what : my relationship was like 10 years of our marriage we did it our way. not until this last 8 year that now we are trying and trusting God way for our lives and his marriage we gave it back to him now that I know God hands I love the work he has done in our marriage all for GOD glory . We have growing alot in christ and myself personally I thank God I know him i don't look to my husband i look to God for everything pertaining to my life .I learned that Marriage belongs to GOD not the couple in the marriage.

    • profile image

      Sahsha 

      6 days ago

      Great, transparent read! There is a lot “ broken people masquerading as adults” and until healing takes place, the pieces get smaller, which makes it harder to heal... but not impossible ❤️

    • profile image

      Elle Jones 

      7 days ago

      It takes an incredible amount of courage to share your truth, especially when that truth can be attached to so much that’s meant to destroy you and how you see yourself.

      Thank you for taking the time to hea and share your story so that others too may heal Haneef.

    • profile image

      Kenny Davis 

      7 days ago

      Truly inspired by your courage and strength...So many of us dwell in our dispair and never search for the blessing in it. Allowing God to heal us instead of relying on ourselves in when we truly find strength in our weakness....Thank you for sharing this truth.

      May God continue to bless you and your family.

    • profile image

      Alofa Vaioleti 

      7 days ago

      I have so many friends who have and are going through this. Women who can’t move on because they are afraid to share their stories due to humiliation and not freeing their inner selves need to see this. It is VERY OKAY to share your story. Most times we are caught up in worrying about how ppl would look at us not knowing that there are many of us out there who have the same story but can’t talk about it. Thank you again for this amazing article. I know it will help so many people who are going through the same.

    • profile image

      Niko 

      4 weeks ago

      I have recently been struggling with the future of my own relationship. This article felt God sent to have someone I trust approach this difficult topic, it felt as if she were speaking directly to me. Thank you Haneef for having the strength to open.

    • profile image

      Yhai Portier 

      5 weeks ago

      Great Article. Forgiveness takes strength. It can sometimes be the road back home or the chariot taking you in another direction. For me,my husbands infedelity was my chariot. It can be shameful and leave the woman or man feeling victimized. Grateful you found peace in the midst of the storm.

      For me it didn't matter if the woman was married or single. My issue was not her but the character of the man I married.

      This is a hard road to walk and each decision is difficult.

      So I wish you so much love!

      Continue to strive for what's best for you and your sons.

    • profile image

      Yolanda K. 

      5 weeks ago

      It's the Power within that allows one to share any painful experience; and Haneef has and is doing just that! Healing is a process that has ups and downs... and this is part of the process: talking about how you feel.

      God, Family, and Healing is the focus of what I hear Haneef sharing. I can see her outcome being one of inspiration and growth for her, her children and others who follow her story.

      I am Godly proud of my Sister Friend, Haneef displaying her pain, process, and purpose in the forefront of healing.

      You are championing women and their families alike to confront, fight and heal themselves and the family as a whole!!!

      Love this!!! #LOVEWins

    • profile image

      Viry 

      5 weeks ago

      Love this Haneef, i past through this pain to and your words means a lot to me and i think God help me with this process but your words of advice for couples, wow i just screenshot that part to have it in my phone and share it to my partner, i believe in forgiveness that gave me a lot of strength and peace to my heart.

    • profile image

      Marcella D. Moore 

      5 weeks ago

      Awesome and very empowering article. Your vulnerability and truth will be a blessing to many. A wonderful way of allowing your pain to position you to be a blessing to others. Thanks for sharing, it was an amazing read. Praying for you and your family.

    • profile image

      Vicki 

      5 weeks ago

      Awesome article! Thanks for your courage & encouragement! Blessings upon you & your family! Many will be helped by this.

    • profile image

      Coach James 

      5 weeks ago

      So many good nuggets here. Seek God, be friends and stay friends. Even the quotes with the pictures (You better run when someone shows you they will not change)!

      It's so important that stories like this be shared. Haneef gives some great insights and level-headed jewels (despite how recent the pain is) that we can all learn from. Often times when it comes to cheating, it's never in a vacuum, there's always this secret under-current that creates these situations. On the deepest levels it's just selfish (my opinion).

      I think one the greatest mistakes we make in marriage is not openly communicating honestly about how we feel, our wants and or needs. It may seem superficial, but that's the "relating" part of a relationship.

    • profile image

      Nakea Brown 

      5 weeks ago

      This article was amazing and also opened up my mind to many things that I must forgive but not forget because it made me who I am

      Also giving my problems to God was ond of the best things I have ever done in my life

      Thank You Haneef for sharing your strength with young women like me God bless and keep up the amazing work

      Always know you are loved

    • profile image

      Haneef R Jordan 

      6 weeks ago

      I wanted to take the time out to thank all of you for your comments and words of encouragement. This journey is one no one wants to walk in. Or gets married to end up here. My goal is to heal completely.. As I aide in the healing of my family. With GOD leading the way daily. Blessings

    • charity mtisi profile image

      charity mtisi 

      6 weeks ago from Johannesburg

      It takes lots of courage to open up and let the world in when one has been betrayed and is still mending. Thanks Rob for a great article and Haneef for being so transparent. It will help many women in similar situations.

    • Nadhege Ptah profile image

      Nadhege Ptah 

      6 weeks ago

      Wow!!! Courageous!!! Love it!!! We need more of this to cancel disgraceful reality shows like The Side Chicks of Charlotte. HELP!!!

    • Pam Morris profile image

      Pam Morris 

      6 weeks ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Rob, what an inspiring article. I love how you can be very detailed and your ability to deliver information in an article is excellent. I was married fifteen years and I didn't have to worry about my husband he was faithful until his death. I made sure I was available for all his needs, although in some relationship all you do just isn't enough. I was blessed we were committed to each other until his death. It's hard to say what a person will do in a situation until they are placed in the position. However, I feel it would have been hard for me to trust or continue a relationship with someone who can't be faithful. I am faithful and would demand the same, I am too selfish to share with another woman. I don't settle in a relationship, I want all or nothing.

    • profile image

      Crys 

      6 weeks ago

      Wow!! Im so heartbroken by what happened but i am also in awe of your strength and transparency!! So many women are going to finnd healing in your story! You are such a blessing and inspiration wow!

    • Robsthe1 profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Walker 

      6 weeks ago from Atlanta, GA.

      Thank you Haneef for your courage to talk about such a private matter. I am sure it will be an inspiration for any woman, or man, who is experiencing the hurt and pain of infidelity.

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