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How important is money in marriage?

Updated on October 29, 2014

Marriage: love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Till death do part us is the length-Fawn Weaver.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. When you contribute towards your relationship you can enjoy loving togetherness with your spouse. But in this modern age you are more focused on earning lots of money than on building your relationship.

You do not spend quality time with your spouse. Your interaction with him\her is very matter of fact and lacks the warmth of love and care. Both are concentrated on acquiring great social status than on caring for each other.

You compare your lifestyle with that of your colleagues\friends\relatives and find yourself very lacking. You want to keep in pace with them. You want all the flashy things the world market displays. You are not satisfied with what you have got as your mind is fixed on acquisition of more and more good things in life.

Whenever you interact with your spouse the topic is invariably about money. You talk about money and fight over money. Of course money is very important for the stability of your marriage. Without money you cannot lead the life you crave for. You need money to give good education to your children. Your old age is secure only when you are financially stable.

But in your chase for money you forget that love is the essence of your married life. Your marriage cannot survive without love. If you target your mind only on earning lots of money the love between you soon loses its sheen and freshness.

With the tons of money you earn your home is just a museum of incredible status symbol things. Very lifeless! There is no warmth of happiness between you. When your aim is only becoming rich and affluent, it is very easy to achieve it in this modern world. You and your spouse just have to work really hard for your affluence and wealth.

Do you think your wealth can bring happiness into your relationship? Why do you feel empty and drained after acquiring the wealth you craved for? It is because in your quest for money you had forgotten to nurture your relationship.

To the outside world you are envied because of your immense prosperity. You present a picture of wealth and opulence. Behind your smile lurks a lost feeling which is not detected by others. But both feel it!

Both know that you had lost many precious things in your relationship in your mad chase after money. The contentment of quality time together has never been felt by you. Your ears have never heard whispers of loving words. The words you heard was always about wealth, affluence and status symbols. Your thoughts were always focused on cars, bungalows, latest gadgets and other material goods. You forgot to show the love you had for each other.

Does that mean that you should not seek money? Without money you cannot lead your married life. You argue with your spouse for petty reasons when you do not have enough money for survival. You should be successful for the well being of your family.

But everything has its limits. Money should be considered as a means to provide your family with good things in life and not as an alternative to the emotional aspects of marriage.

Money without love is nothing. It is like Midas gold! You can look at it in awe but it does not quench your thirst nor does it quell your hunger. You should spend wonderful quality time with one another. You should plan your life together. You should know the right balance between search for money and nurturing your relationship.

‘Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success’ -Henry ford.

Strike the right chord to know the rhythm of love in your marriage! When the scale of your married life tilts more towards love, your marriage will have all the loving warmth you need for your happiness.

You also know the value of money in its right perspective. When you combine money and loving relationship with equal care you can enjoy the goodness of both worlds. A secure financial status and a secure married life!

© 2012 mathira


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    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      Mel, Yes, it would be nice if money did not have this much of power in marriage. But the truth is otherwise. Thank you for the visit.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 3 years ago from San Diego California

      I wish we could do without the money but it's hard scraping by out here in Southern California, where it is very expensive. Great advice and great hub!

    • rambansal profile image

      Ram Bansal 5 years ago from India

      money too matters but not essentially. Relationships thrive on mutuality of respect, trust, compromises and, most importantly, on realizing the reality of the situation..

    • mebeth profile image

      Beth 5 years ago from Connecticut

      I agree about balance. In the end, I think it boils down to two people sharing the same values around money. A lot of life decisions involve balancing time and money, and so it helps if two people either agree or respect each other's philosophy about this stuff. Work 60 hours to have the finer things in life? Or enjoy a career that leaves plenty of time to take a hike in the woods?

    • Mom Kat profile image

      Mom Kat 5 years ago from USA

      You're right, money without love is nothing; however I think you forgot about the stress lack of money can cause on a relationship. Even if you have love; without enough money to put food on the table or pay the bills can cause a great deal of stress and strain on the relationship.

      There needs to be a certain level of financial security for a loving relationship to flourish. It isn't just about one or the other. It is about having the right balance and priorities.