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He is just not that into you

Updated on July 25, 2013

Kandi Leave you

Most of the women I know have at one point in their life met that one guy that has natural charm and that sweeps you off your feet with kind words and great plans but never deliver. You all know that guy I am sure. We have this expression in my shona language that says kwadzinorohwa matumbu ndiko kwadzinomhanyira meaning that where people are mistreated and abused is where they usually want to stay. I have seen women who stay with a man who mistreats them and beats them because they are in love or maybe because of the promise of love and the hope that they will someday be loved. I was watching a series one day on television of a young girl who was in love with a boyfriend that used to beat her up. Even though people tried to help her she always went back to her and he ended up killing her. Sure she got the flowers in between and the expensive dinners but at the end of the day it wasn't worth it.

five stages of dealing with being stood up
five stages of dealing with being stood up | Source


Even though I have never been in an abusive relationship I used to like a man that was all talk and no action, he would promise to call, promise to change, promise to stop cheating, a light bulb went on in my heard when I saw a post on facebook that said "if a person acts like they don't care about you believe them they don't." Most of the time its the small things that people do that show us whether they are worth having us in their lives or not. But the funny thing is that I always had an excuse for the guy that maybe he was just busy or maybe he just didn't have credit in his phone or maybe they will change and my life kept passing me by.

abuse | Source

So maybe he might have a genuine reason for not showing up or not calling but if this becomes the norm and he doesn't get his act together how about just not coming up with excuses and just realizing his actions might have been his way of trying to tell you that he is just not that into you.

When people show you who they are believe them


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    • cptjarum profile image

      jane 4 years ago from perth

      Thanks Nini :-) . Glad you liked it.

    • profile image

      Nini 4 years ago

      Great article!

    • cptjarum profile image

      jane 4 years ago from perth

      You are right but sometimes people promise us change and we stay in a bad situation because of hope that change will come or it will go back to the time when we were in love. It is our fault that we choose to stay though. Thanks for reading my post.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead. Whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a better shopper!

      The beautiful thing about a door is it lets those who want in (in) and those who want out (out). We are always where we (choose) to be.

      Anyone who is "unhappy" in a relationship and (chooses) to stay in it is (choosing) to be unhappy. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness! We get to decide who we spend our time with.

      It's (your) life! Take the wheel! One man's opinion! :-)