- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How Do I Pick Up That Girl That is a Childhood Friend?
Whoa, buddy, you’re treading into sister territory here! Okay, going after the girl who has been your friend since childhood (and continues to be so) is not exactly the same thing as your sister, so it’s not that disgusting. If you really do feel an attraction for her even after all these years… then, I suppose I should congratulate you on finding the one for you. It means that even after probably another 20 years of being together, you’ll still find her as appealing as you do today.
This is not going to be an easy task, though. Firstly, you’ve obviously already been friend-zoned by her many eons ago (in fact, you should have friend-zoned her, too, but you didn’t). Secondly, even if you had tried to date her or spend some romantic time with her, she probably thought of it as nothing more than hanging out with her brother or a good friend… she probably even touches you in ways that should arouse the both of you, but in fact only arouse you. Well, at least you have the advantage of having access to her at any time, any place. Not only that, but you have infinite chances at trying to make her yours – no matter how you screw up, she’s still going to be your friend!
The old tricks of being there for her, being extra-nice, buying her romantic gifts and whatever else you can normally do to make a girl swoon are not going to work here. What you’ve got to do with your childhood friend is make her see you in a different light. Yes, you’re going to have to do things you’ve never done before, show her a side of you she’s never seen, look different, and even spend less time with her than you do now. Yes, less time.
- Continue to be the great person she’s always known
- Spend less time with her! Yes, spend less time with her than usual (make her miss you)
- Start seeing other girls… if only to make her a little jealous
- Keep your physical distance; no more playful touching
- Shy away from sharing things like drinks or meals with her
- Keep begging her to be with you
- Always be there for her for every little thing… be there for when she really needs you, but not for every little thing
- Touch her as a brother would touch a sister – you want to make any touching feel special, not ordinary
- Let her see you as lonely or pathetic (i.e. don’t show her that you’re a guy with no action)
- Share with her the part of your life that should only be shared with family and girlfriend (she’ll miss seeing you change your pants, and she’ll miss you helping to undo her bra)
Basically, the method to make her see you in a different light is simple: act like one of the guys who is after her, and not like her lifelong best friend. That means you’re going to have to spend less time with her. Don’t share your private life (e.g. undressing, your bed, etc.) with her and don’t share in hers. Keep your distance when you guys are out… no sharing food or drinks, no playful touching, etc. Show her that you’ve got an awesome romantic life; the girls are all over you! Start to dress differently when around her – dress up, don’t let her see you at your worst.
Once she feels that you are changing from a brother into a real man, she will feel the pangs of pain that come with a loss. She’ll want you back and want you back bad. Of course, you’re showing her that you’re not just there for the taking… she’s got to work for you and work hard. You’re willing to be there for her, but not all the time. You’re willing to spend time with her, but not as brother-sister – it’s going to be man and woman this time! Of course, once you two successfully hook up, you can drop the pretence and start treating her as you did before… but keep her interested romantically. Do unexpected and romantic things for your life together.
1. You’ve got to make her stop seeing you as a brother! Spend less time with her, and the time you do spend together should be more reserved (like a man courting a woman he hasn’t known his whole life).
2. Dress differently and never let her see you at your worst. If you don’t have muscles, get them. If you’ve never worn a suit, wear one!
3. Don’t let her see your intimate life anymore; such as you changing pants right in front of her or farting or anything like that. Don’t share in her intimate life anymore.
4. Once you’ve now got her feeling like you’re another man that she has not known her whole life, she’ll value the time you guys do spend together and will feel a longing for the old you. But, continue to show her the you she’s never known.
5. Be romantic and pour on the sexual tension (i.e. you can let her get a glimpse, but not a full-on view as she had in the past). Keep a slight distance, as if you don’t want to offend her by coming on too strong.
6. She’ll now want to actually date you, rather than going on buddy-buddy dates, and this is when you need to continue acting like the new romantic man. Keep doing this and she’ll finally come around and see that you’re boyfriend material instead of just brother material.
Well, I just hope you don’t mess things up permanently!