- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
How Do I Pick Up That Girl at School?
This is one of the most common, if not the most common, place for gentlemen to meet that special gentlewoman. After all, it’s where most people meet the best friends of their lives – so why not their life partner, too?
Why is it that most people meet their special someone at school? Well, the answer is simple: time. They’ve spent a lot of time together at school; in class, after class, at lunch, during activities, during field trips and in so many other places.
If your special girl is a classmate, then you’re in luck, because this is one of the easiest places to get her. There’s a difference between high school and college, however, as you’ve probably got some sort of reputation in high school and it may be hard to get a girl from a different social circle. In college, however, it’s a much simpler task, as there, nobody knows your name or your history – you have a fresh start! She might not have noticed you before, but she will, she will…
- Say hi whenever you see her, smile and be friendly
- Be friendly to all her friends; if they like you, she’ll like you, too
- Let her know that you’ll be getting a coffee and she’s welcome to join
- Talk about classes and other school-related stuff
- Directly ask her out on a date
- Follow her around like some sort of stalker
- Stop her and chat with her every single time you see her
- Try to sit beside her every single class (unless she wants to)
- Ask for any contact info. the first few times you interact
- Offer her a ride to/from school if you’ve just met
- Get too personal with her at first
- Hang out with a bunch of geeks all the time
- Be caught with photos of women anywhere on your self or stuff
- Be caught with pictures of anime women anywhere…
The thing to remember with a girl from school is that you have time on your side. A typical school semester lasts at least half a year and it’s likely that it lasts almost a whole year. You have plenty of time to get to know that girl, so whatever you do, don’t rush it. I know you’re excited and you’re thinking about her all the time, but rushing it is shooting yourself in the foot.
What happens when you try and speed up the relationship-building that normally happens at school without you even trying? Well, the girl that you’re interested in will feel that you’re some sort of crazy stalker that is always there, wherever she turns. She’ll feel pressure from your presence and she’ll know exactly what you’re up to… she starts to avoid you until you leave her alone (not what you want).
The trick is that you must slowly get someone used to your presence. Day-by-day is how it works. Just as you can’t run a 20-mile marathon on your first day, you also can’t expect to spend an entire afternoon with someone you just met. And at school, you’ll naturally end up spending time with certain people.
Since school is a fairly small place and there are many opportunities to run into your target, don’t fret over purposefully asking her to spend time with you. What happens often is that you both get off the same class, you say “See ya later,” and lo-and-behold, you guys are buying lunch at the same place! It is at this point that you can ask her to sit together (if she has no one… if you see she has other friends, it’s best to avoid an awkward situation). Whatever you do, don’t purposefully follow her around and try to “run into” her… this is stalker-type behaviour. Leave it up to chance and you’ll see that over time you guys run into each other more often than not.
- Play it cool and treat the girl you meet as you do anyone else.
- Initially, leave it up to chance to see her around campus.
- Once you’re well into the semester and see her quite often, it is now that you can casually drop the line, “I’m gonna go for a coffee just now, you want?” (If she says no, that’s cool. There’s next time.)
- It is now that you can start sitting beside her in classes. Y’know, share your notes with her, do your best learning so that you can help her if she needs help! (Don’t go crazy and start making notes for her or anything… never be a doormat/servant-type guy.)
- Ask her if she wants to study together (on campus, of course)… make sure you know how to explain stuff!
- At this point (maybe 4 – 6 months), you’ve built enough rapport with her that you can finally ask her out. Your first time out with her should be in a group with other mutual friends, of course. For example, ask her and her friends to join you and your friends at some event (and event, not dinner!)…
- When you guys are out in groups, make sure you spend a fair bit of time beside her. Don’t overburden her by being like her shadow; be beside her when it counts – like when everyone will be sitting for long periods of time (on the subway, at the dinner table, etc.).
- If she starts to have an attraction for you (and she should, if you’ve been following this hub’s advice), you should now easily be able to ask her out on any date; to the movies, to dinner, etc. Just make sure you never say, “D’uh, you wanna go out on a date?” You must just ask her to go somewhere... “Do you want to watch that new movie together? And get dinner at this great restaurant I know of...?”
Congratulations, my friend. Congratulations.