- Gender and Relationships
How To Find Old Friends And Keep Them
A Favourite Song
Friends are there when you need them,
friends are there when you call,
friends are there when the weather's fair,
friends are there when you are down,
or you ain't got no friends at all.
Why Do We Need Friends
Human relationships are extremely necessary for us to remain happy in this business of living.One can have all the luxury and comfort that money can bring,but if we do not have anyone to share with or simply to communicate your feelings to,or seek advice,your life becomes meaningless.The story of a stranded sailor on an island all by himself is repeated often in movies and story books.Humans were made to have friends.At every stage of life,our need for friends increases or decreases depending on the situation in life that we undergo at that point in time.The type of friends we make along the way suggest this.For example,you may have moved out of a neighbourhood or taken up a new job.You need not keep all of your old contacts.There are some who make a difference in your life at some point and these continue as good friends.
Best friends do not come under this category.they are ones that stick with you wherever you go ,even when you are half way across the globe from them.It is heartening to note that during the terrorist attacks in Mumbai,India,heartening stories were aired on news channels.Cell phones were used to SMS or speak and to receive calls/SMS by those guests who were inside the Taj Palace Hotel to their families and friends.All those that were rescued and made it out alive after the seige,had only one thing to say.They were thankful to God for being alive.And secondly,each one recounted how they kept receiving SMS after SMS from friends and colleagues in addition to family members to fill them with courage and confidence.Some of these guests were behind locked doors alone in their room as the Taj shook and reverberated under gunfire and smoke.And they did not know what was happening.Some were crouched under their beds for hours.A famous journalist who happened to be one of them,but did not make it out alive,is reported to have stayed in touch with several friends and her husband,and her last SMS to her husband read ,"They are in my bathroom!",referring to the terrorists that went about killing randomly.And then there was an explosion heard and her room went up in flames.Yes, spouses are excellent friends as well!
Connect with Old Friends
- Yes, find your old school or college friends.If you find a couple of them,they will be happy to help connect you with others you both know. Join Aluminae of all the educational institutions you studied in,and attend their meetings.
- Look for old address books that you used to maintain and make that call.
- If you know any friend's address,mail her/him a card with nice wordings or make your own wordings,so as to make sure they reciprocate.Don't forget to write your name ,address and telephone number in addition to your email id and cell phone number.
- Look up the local telephone directory for their name or surname and find your friend.And make that call!
- Search online through networking sites.Chances are that they will be registered on Facebook,Orkut,Linkedin.
- Try Google searching their name.Their profile might just show up.I found a couple of friends half way across the globe this way.And I only knew their maiden surname.
Keep Communication Open
Late last night,I happened to be online working,when I noticed 4 of my contacts from Gmail also online.I began chatting with each separately as they were known to me in different ways.I was glad to encourage one of them,in another city,who had a deadline to keep and was still in his office at 11 PM.This guy is in his early 40's.The 2nd was my student whom I tutor and she was struggling with her homework and needed some help.She is about 13 years old.A young housewife in another part of the globe,was online asking me a recipe for Christmas.And an 80 year old uncle was chatting with me about his plans for the holidays with his grandchildren.Believe me,they all are my friends!
The 80 year old uncle I was chatting with online for the first time has authored many little booklets,and was telling me how easy it is to communicate with anyone online these days.And immediately,too!The response is immediate,but still people,particularly young people do not take the time to keep communication channels open.
Every friend may not respond warmly,and few may chat well on the phone when you make the call and then never call back.It all depends on how good your friendship was earlier,and more importantly,are they in the same boat as well,when they have suddenly the need to renew a longlost friendship.Perhaps they were also caught up in the rigmarole of career growth,starting a family,bringing up kids,......!
Whatever the reason,and season,it is important that you take the first step of finding your friend and connecting with them.Keeping the friendship going on for years to come,is entirely up to you both.You can met up over coffee or lunch at a restaurant to catch up on old times.An old classmate of mine recently commented that we hardly meet each other and speak to wish on festivals and birthdays,but it is good to hear each other over the phone atleast and know that you can simply catch up from where you left off last.You also are secure in the knowledge that should you meet up with an emergency you know which friend to count on and for what.All cannot be the same.
So, as a first step may I suggest that you make a list of the addresses you have of your friends,and send them all a personalized New Year's Card.If you have their email id,you could send an ecard greeting.You may call on the mobile or landline if you have their number,and let me assure you they will be extremely glad to hear from you.
Continue communicating via Skype,MSN Messenger,Google Talk,Yahoo Messenger.These are FREE and you can communicate in realtime wherever you and your friends may be.Hook up to a webcam and a headset with microphone.And you are ready to connect with the world!As you go along,you will not only find old friends,but make new ones as well!
Perhaps this could be your New Year's resolution-to keep in touch with friends.
GOOD LUCK,my friend!