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How To Find True Love | Four Things To Forget If You Want A Good Guy

Updated on July 7, 2009
Image from People Magazine
Image from People Magazine

It can be hard to find good people in this world, whether you're a man or a woman. This article is written for women looking for a real 'good guy', but finding that they're surrounded by losers, dorks and jocks. Don't worry, the good guys are out there, in fact, they're probably bumping into you like multiple gametes against an impervious ovum, unfortunately you can't see the wood for the trees. Here are four things you should forget if you want to find true love.

Forget The Labels

Labels are not useful when it comes to looking for a man because they tend to close our eyes to what is really there. So that weedy little guy in the corner likes comic books, that makes him a nerd right? That makes him unsuitable as a partner. Perhaps, or perhaps he is a creative, freethinking and caring individual who will shower you with love and affection you've only previously dreamed of.

Forget The Romance Novel

Romance novels have a lot to answer for because they create unrealistic ideals which lead ladies into the arms of fools and rogues. When we meet men, we then dismiss them because they don' fit the mold. We dismiss them perhaps because they don't look the part, because they're not high powered and because they might show some sign of vulnerability. Popular culture has encouraged a view of men as being strong and impervious, unfortunately, strong and impervious men tend to be pretty pleasure and self centered with a gaggle of air heads ready to throw themselves at them at the drop of a hat. Yes, they can be attractive, but they're often attractive in the same way those creepy deep ocean fish with the pretty lights hanging over their gaping maws of toothy doom are attractive.

Don't Think With Your Uterus

Women accuse men of thinking with their little head all the time, but women are just as guilty of thinking with their uterus on occasion as well. The fact that he would make pretty babies with you has nothing to do with his potential in a relationship. Attraction is important, but it can also lead you astray. Remember too, female attraction can be incredibly fickle. How often have you dismissed a guy only to find him strangely attractive after he gets a girlfriend? Our hormones and uterus' lie to us, do not listen to them.

Don't Worry About Common Interests

The good guys may not share all your interests. They may not be interested in some of what you do, and you may very well not be interested in what they do. One of the greatest myths in relationships is that you must have things in common. Far more important than having superficial interests in common is having common ideals. Ideals are the driving impulses which underpin our beliefs and actions. If you happen to be very family oriented and also enjoy antiques, you're not going to be happy with a playboy auctioneer, even though you both ostensibly have things in common. It's what lies underneath that is important in a relationship.


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    • profile image

      Enam 8 years ago

      Very pragmatic and benefitting advice. Thanks for such worthy article.

    • bala99 profile image

      Bala Subrahmanyam Vishnubhotla 8 years ago from Hyderabad, Telangana, India.

      Very practical advice. Thank you.