- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
How To Get Over A Man
This article is not about getting over a man and staying friends with him, this is about getting over and forgetting those men unworthy of remembrance for whatever reason. We've all got one of those, surely? Right. I've got more than one, and this is what I do when I'm ready to stop moping about. Mind, you do need to want to get over him before you can actually do it. If you're happy pining away for Joe Schmoe, these steps aren't going to be helpful. So if you're sure you're ready to get over him, read on. (For tips on getting over crushes, see How to Get Over a Crush)
The Do List
Get rid of his photos.
If this is someone you truly do not want in your life anymore, get rid of his photos. Don't just stash them away in the bottom of a box so you can reflect on your misery when you get old. How utterly ridiculous that some people do this. If you really feel the need to hang on to some of them you need to ask yourself why.
Break Up Help
Get rid of his phone number and his email address.
If you're really done with him, you don't need his phone number or email address. Having them only makes you prone to sending him stupid messages when you're drunk and lonely. Get rid of them today, save yourself some face tomorrow.
Go to new places you never went to with him.
Find a new restaurant and take a friend with you. Or a new man, for that matter. Try that dance club your ex never wanted to visit. Take up a new hobby. Do something new that has nothing at all to do with your ex.
Flirt and be sexy.
Do not start shopping in your jammies just because you're miserable. Get done up, look sexy and smile at every gorgeous man you see. Do it, girl; you'll be glad you did.
Get your friends together (make each of them bring a sexy, single man along) and throw a fantastic party. You cannot be miserable if you're too busy having a good time. Having a party at your place makes you the belle of the ball, so go one and get started on those invitations.
Avoid the Jerks!
The Don't List
Don't listen to music that makes you think of him.
Did you have a song? Or maybe something that really makes you think of him when you hear it? Yeah? Well stop listening to it. Music is very, very powerful, and the feelings these songs bring up could set you back months in your process of getting over him.
Don't go to places you used to go to together.
Don't pop down to the little sushi bar he introduced you just so's you can reminisce. All you're going to do is think about him the entire time you eat. Don't even go there with a new man, as it's not fair to the new guy -- he's not going to know why you've gone all moody all of the sudden, and he'll only be able to assume it's something to do with him, rather than the tosser who brought you there last.
Don't be a stalker.
Do NOT cruise past his house to see if he's home, do not pop into his local for a beer -- especially if you know he's there. Not only is this going to upset you, it makes you look needy and creepy.
Don't make more than one attempt to get back to together.
Some people really feel the need to at least try to reconcile. If you really, really have to do this, don't do it more than once. If it doesn't work the first time, it's unlikely to work the second or third. The least you can do when your heart is breaking is hold onto your dignity.
Don't watch depressing movies.
No depressing movies! I know, I know -- most of you will watch a few. I do it, too. But if you're into the second week of being a singleton and you are still renting movies that make you cry, you are not getting better! If you need to watch a movie, get some romantic comedies. Really, this will help. Or any comedy, really. Trust me.
Don't drink or do drugs over it.
It makes no sense to punish your body. Are you really going to feel better leaning over the toilet than you do right now? I don't think so.