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How To Locate A Marriage Counselor
How to Find a Marriage Counselor
It can run into choppy weather and rough waters unexpectedly, as in the case of problems caused by ego clashes and conflicts of interest.
In addition, it can hit a seemingly harmless tip of a monstrous iceberg, as in when one of the parties engages in a secret affair.
Considering these facts, the old saying that marriages are held in heaven does not reflect the truth anymore. It can be said that marriages are held at sea, though. Marriage counselors are like rescue ships.
You may probably know that there are a lot of marriage counselors around. The yellow pages or telephone directories list the contact details of a number of experts who provide marriage counseling.
If you search on the internet, then you will be flooded with the information and details of a large of number of counselors from all over the world.
So, can one select a marriage counselor just like that from a plethora of choices?
No, one cannot.
You will in all probability be thinking that you have made a wrong choice for a life partner. If you select a wrong choice for marriage counseling as well, your original thought about the selection of the partner will be vindicated and in turn, it will spoil your marriage. Therefore, selecting the right counselor is extremely important.
For a start, you can ask your family doctor or your minister or priest about marriage counseling in your locality. Other people may have approached them already and so they might know about good marriage counselors.
In addition, you can ask your friends or relatives. People generally do not like to talk about these issues. Therefore, not many people will be talking honestly in this regard.
If you locate a marriage counselor, either through reference from others or from the yellow pages or the internet, you should interact with the person before selecting a particular counselor. You need to inquire about the experience of the person and his or her qualifications.
Usually counselors will have a degree or diploma in psychology. Above all, it is important that the person will make both of you at ease. That is, both of you should be able to communicate comfortably and openly with the counselor. Ideally, you should involve your partner also in the process of finding a counselor.
Perhaps, opting for marriage counseling will become the first stage of the relationship-rebuilding process. Also, never select a counselor just because his or her service is cheaper.
Finding the right marriage counselor could make or break your marriage. The process should be taken with great caution and sensitivity. Meet with your prospects and make sure both you and your partner feel comfortable with the selection.
Taking the time and concern to find the appropriate marriage counselor will demonstrate your commitment and dedication to your marriage.
When Should You Seek Out Marriage Counseling
Marriage is a complex relationship between two people who are both very complex.
There are no easy answers to the issues that face marriages; there are only suggestions and ways of guidance.
Many people immediately throw "divorce" around at the first sign that things aren't working out. They overreact and make a larger issue out of it then need be.
Although many marriages end in divorce, there is always hope if both people are willing to humble themselves and take the time and effort to work things out. If you're one of those couples that want to see your relationship healed and restored, then there is hope for you.
Here are a few ways to known if you need to see a marriage counselor.
If both of you have attempted to talk about the issues in your marriage multiple times and it always ends in a fight, then you should seek out an expert. There's no point in attempting this any further if every time it ends in more hurt and pain.
Having someone to objectively listen, understand and mediate will allow a safe place to both be understood and to understand. Most fights in marriages go back to the inability to effectively communicate. The atmosphere with a counselor will be free and open so there is neither one of you are afraid to talk.
If you and your spouse have talked extensively about divorce, then go see a marriage counselor immediately. The sad fact is that most people who end up in a divorce, wished it could have work out.
This goes back to the fundamental fact that you fell in love at one point because of a connection. Somewhere that connection was broken and needs repair.
It's not that you're not in love anymore; it's that you've both lost your way and you need a guide to help you back to the path where you first met.
Divorce is ugly and painful; more painful than attempting to get help while you're still in the relationship. Let the counselor do his or her job at being that guide to reconnect you with the love that first found you.
Pain is difficult to deal with, especially when it's coming from the one you love. With any relationship there will always be the need for grace and forgiveness, but if you find that you're in a constant state of offense, pain and hurt then finding a counselor would be a good idea.
Typically, you and you're spouse are not hurting one another intentionally, so there's some breakdown somewhere. The marriage counselor will take the time to objectively listen to both of you and pin point where the hurt is coming from. He or she will be able to heal and enlighten these areas of confusion and frustration.
Marriage counseling isn't for everyone but if you find yourself identifying with the items listen above, then you may need to contact a marriage counselor. Going to a counselor will not hurt your relationship, it will only help. It is a win-win situation for you, your spouse and your family.