- Gender and Relationships
How To Love: A 5-Step Process
Though it did not surprise me to find that there many who do seek to know How to Love it did surprise me to find that over three hundred thousand use this phrase in search engines in a month’s time. I was not sure on what to make of it but was led to write a hub that would serve this need.
I have based this short guide on my personal relationship with God the Father and applying concepts I have learned from different authors and spiritual teachers like Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch and Eckhart Tolle. It is my hope that this could be of help in whatever way it can to those who do seek to understand the nature and ways of love.
1. Let TRUTH Be Your Foundation
Admitting that you want to know how to love is the first step of facing your truth and that is a good thing. Remain in this level of truth during the entire process. Allow, admit, accept all that you feel inside for this leads you to understand where you are at this point in your life.
You may want to take an inner journey and explore on answering some questions truthfully. Answer as quickly and impulsively as possible without judging or condemning yourself for feeling certain things or thinking such thoughts.
- How do you view love to be?
- What do you want from love?
- Why do you want love?
The answers could reveal more of what has been hidden in your subconscious for the longest time. Accept this as part of the truth you currently live by. When you are able to tell yourself the truth then it will be easier to speak of this truth to another.
Love has its foundation on truth.
2. Communicate Your TRUTH To Another As You Allow Them to Express Their Truth To You
Telling your truth to another maybe hard for it puts you in a very vulnerable position. You put yourself at risk of being misunderstood, ridiculed or rejected altogether but it is a necessary process in learning how to love. It is encouraged that you express your truth in writing or in a one-on-one session.
Begin by sharing what you have discovered in your inner journey. You may request that the person allow you to share first before any reaction is made. At the end of your sharing you could request the other to share their thoughts about your self discovery or you may also ask them to answer the same three questions you asked yourself. This paves the way for a deeper level of communication.
Love is accepting the truth of another as we accept our own.
If things do not go as you expect them to go then keep in mind the next process.
3. Avoid Being Attached To Expectations
Many times you may find yourself stopping on your tracks when facing a truth that was never expected. Respond by accepting the situation as it is so. Acceptance is not being passive but rather it is being active for it is a means to which we can move forward.
Not being attached to expectations allows you to easily respond according to the needs of a situation. You may not have any control over the outcome but you are able to control your response to the outcome. You can choose to allow the person to respond according to their own truth.
Love lets go of expectations, chooses to honor differences and moves alongside them.
4. Allow Yourself To BE As You Allow Others To BE
This is the best way of setting a non-judgmental environment. When you allow yourself and others to move in this kind of setting you can be sure that trust will flow in as naturally as it can. Devoid of condemnation, presumption, expectation and need a relationship can become one liberating experience.
You may not agree or like what they choose to believe but give them the freedom and space to be what they choose to be at this moment in their life knowing full well that, just like you, they too need the space to Be in order to Become.
Love is not made up of chains but rather of wings.
5. Believe You Are Worthy To Love and Be Loved
This may sound to be one of the simplest acts to do, but for many it may be the hardest. Without us being fully aware, our own feeling of unworthiness becomes the main block to giving and receiving love.
This unbelief may stem from a traumatic childhood experience, a betrayal of a family member, or an abusive relationship. Whatever the cause maybe it is important that you accept this as part of the truth you have lived by and then move on to making a choice. Choose to believe that the experience does not determine your worth.
Your worth is determined by your decision to believe you are worthy. You don’t even have to do anything for anyone to be worthy, for the truth is, you are already worthy to love and be loved. This is the truth that you could choose to live with now.
Proof of such worth is another truth – you are love itself seeking to become the grandest version of the greatest expression of itself. It may sound too good to be true but it is the truth that allowed me to start loving myself and others without conditions. This is the truth that taught me how to love.
Love is your Being.
You may read about my personal journey to discovering this truth in another hub called Love Is Not the Answer…It Is Our Being.
I wish you well in your own journey to discovering the essence of love and pray that light of wisdom bring the abundance of joy you seek in life.