- Gender and Relationships»
- Separation & Divorce
How divorce happens and how to prevent it?
Divorce can happen in both type of marriages
First of all, I will give the answer to this hub request "Are you in favor that an arranged marriage has a low divorce rate than love marriage?"
No, I am not in favor that an arranged marriage has a low divorce rate than love marriage. Divorce can happen in any type of marriage, be it love or arranged. I have seen a lot of my friends and relatives who have considered love marriage and are happily living together and a lot of people who have considered arrange marriage and have taken divorce.
Instead of thinking that love marriages have high divorce rate and arrange marriages are really successful is a waste of time, as this debate has no end.
So my dear friend instead of saying anything more on this topic, I would like to share my viewpoint on something, which is useful to society and all of us.
What is most important is to understand how divorce happens and how to prevent it?
How divorce happens?
A divorce happens only when something goes bad. Ego problem, lack of mutual understanding, and blaming each other can lead to a divorce. There are many divorce cases, which are caused due to the bad attitude of the parents. You find such kind of parents in one out of every 10 families who care for nothing but their own selfish interests. They will find numerous lame excuses and idiotic reasons to press for a divorce, but what they do not understand is that they are spoiling the future of their child in pursuit of their selfish dreams. What they want is someone to look after them in their old age. They are not worried about the deep wound that is created in the minds of their child! Sometimes involvement of siblings of the married couples also lead to divorce.
How to prevent divorce?
Marriages are not like fairy tales. Everyone has to make compromises, but ultimately despite the compromises and sacrifices one must have a bond with one's partner. This bond is not only love, but is companionship, friendship, and mutual understanding.
The first thing people need to stop doing is stop playing the blame game. The moment you understand that things are not all that fine, don't immediately jump to blame the other. But, we invariably do this, and it becomes an endless tussle. So as long as we believe that the cause is outside, we are never going to solve the problems. Look inwards, and in this lies, the solution to the problems we face. but how many are willing to criticize themselves? Not many. If you cannot introspect, then you are going to suffer. Time is thought to be the solution. If you look closely, time is not the one that solves the problem. What happens is that you begin to see the same thing in a different light. Your perception of the problem changes. It is this change that usually solves the problem. This can be done immediately, if you are willing to let go of your current perception of the problem.
There are many other things one can do. Mind has infinite capacity to handle things efficiently. All we need to do is to learn to harness its capabilities. This is one aspect, which we are never taught in schools, and we never try to learn outside too.
I also think that kids play a vital role in avoiding divorce, as sometimes in conflicting situations between their parents, they cool down their parents and avoid divorce to happen. Thanks to these lovely kids who do that for saving their parents relationship and their own future.