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How do I save my relationship?

Updated on January 15, 2012

So you are having relationship problems. You, they or maybe both of you, did or said something you shouldn’t have. Ever since then the relationship has been spiral towards the ground like a plane with one wing. The good news is: you aren’t the first person to have this problem and you aren’t likely to be the last. The bad news is: it will take a lot of work to patch things back together.

The question you need to ask is: Are you willing to fight for your relationship?
Every relationship has problems. In my opinion for a relationship to work both people need to want to be in it and at least one person must be willing to fight, to make it work. If you don’t love your partner, if you aren’t willing to sacrifice to make it work, then it’s best to quit now.

If you are willing to sacrifice to make the relationship work, then say it out loud: “I am totally committed to making this relationship work”. If the moment presents itself you might want to say that to your partners face.

Let's look at some best ways to answer the question:"How do I save my relationship?"

Get counseling
Nothing says “I am serious about us” quite like going to counseling. In addition a professional can really help you to improve your relationship, on several levels, by getting to the core of why you are together and what is keeping you apart.

If you can’t afford to go to a professional and you are a student, your school or university might have a free counseling service. Otherwise you might be able to find a community program that’s offers counseling at very low rates.

Improve your communication
Try to make some time, every day. Where you can sit down and have a private conversation. Create a safe place where in you can share thoughts and emotions, without being judged. Good communication requires time and effort.

Communication is also a two way street. Are you truly listening to your partner? Are you giving them enough time to make their point, or do you disrupt them?

Separation makes the heart grow fonder
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the moment that we don’t see the big picture. In that case you need to take a few days off, away from your boyfriend or girlfriend, to clear your head. When you tell your partner, explain to them that you are taking the time to think about the relationship. That you aren’t taking a break from the relationship. Then suggest that they use the time to do the same thing.

Write down your feelings
I find that putting your feelings on paper somehow make them more real. Sharing what you write, with your partner, may greatly improve your relationship.

Getting back on the horse
Not all couples where meant to be. Sometimes you just have to accept that you are just too different. If that’s the case I recommend you break it off cleanly and get right back out there. Go online and setup a few good dates. If you keep trying you are sure to find the right person. For more help with that read getting over a bad relationship.


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    • dh43marriageman profile image


      8 years ago

      I find my marriage always improves on vacations. We get out the routines we have that get in the way of being with each other and just enjoy being with each other.

    • bingskee profile image


      10 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

      i agree that every relationship has problems. it is because couples are two different individuals brought up in two different families. this is one reason why differences arise.

      as to working it out to make the relationship, i believe it depends. if it's worth dying for, then i can fight for it..

    • beautyrose profile image


      10 years ago

      yeah I believed in these ways of saving a relationship. Mine since I'm not yet married its about the communication. Specially in long distance relationship where trust is needed most.

    • dohn121 profile image


      10 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      You made some valid points, jgaunt. The only thing that I would add to perhaps save the relationship is to set up a trip or a surprise event (like dinner at an exclusive restaurant). I did this once and it saved my bacon. There is no perfect place to bring your significant other, however. Just be creative and compassionate and the rest will follow.

    • maggs224 profile image


      10 years ago from Sunny Spain

      A good hub I enjoyed reading it and I agree with you good relationships don't just happen they requires give and take and work but they are so worth the effort.


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