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Getting over a bad relationship

Updated on April 4, 2012

Getting over a bad relationship is hard to do. You might have thought that it would last, forever. Even given your heart completely to them. Now all that lies shattered.

You aren't alone, sooner or later everyone goes through this. In this article we will help you understand the breakup process and give you some good advice on getting over that bad relationship.

The chemistry of getting over a bad relationship

When you are in love, your body releases a cocktail of chemicals into your system, specifically to make you feel good. Once you break off that relationship the your body stops producing them and you feel miserable.

What we want is a soft landing. We need your body to keep producing those chemicals in smaller amounts. In the short term you can achieve this by eating food that is high in fat and sugar. Like ice cream, chocolate and pizza. Clearly this isn't healthy, in the longer term. I recommend having one eating binge to take the edge off.

A strenuous workout also releases some of these pleasure chemicals. Working out hard for the first month after a breakup makes a big difference. Swim, run or go to the gym for an hour, 5 days a week.

The clean break

The absolute worst way to deal with the situation is to have an on again off again relationship. Getting over a bad relationship is much easier if you break it off cleanly.

What are emotions? Emotions are chemical processes that are specifically designed to over ride your logic decision making. In this case emotions can make you call your ex, when you know you shouldn't.
Clearly, emotions are not our friend in a breakup situation.

What you need to do is remove any stimuli that might bring on these unhelpful emotions.

So firstly remove and if possible block any communication methods with your ex. Examples would be your email, mobile and blackberry.

Next get rid of anything that reminds you of them. This would be pictures, letters, gifts, songs and so on.

If you have a lot of residual anger towards your ex, burning these reminders of them can be very therapeutic. Burning letters in the fireplace is ok, but if you are going to burn pictures or clothes, take it outside.

Getting back on the horse

So a month has passed since your breakup, now what?

Time to start dating again. In this period you should be looking for a large number of non-serious dates. If you find someone that looks like a good prospect, take it slowly.

The best place to find a large number of good dates, is an online dating site like Yahoo! Personals


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      Linda Safley 7 years ago

      Some of these methods sound kinda cold-blooded, depending what your ex did to you. But, these emotions can be very emotional, and you should give your self much time, even if they sauid they are going to change, it may not be true, like my mother said. I'm still very upset after 9 months being separated. He has called, and from time to time, I worry about him. Oh well!