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How to Get a Woman to Fall For You Big Time

Updated on May 14, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.

First Date Worries

This is always a tricky time. For you and for us. What do we really know about each other? Maybe you won't like our dress, our hair, the way we walk, the way we eat....expectations are high on both side. Will you be what we think you are? Will you be that cute guy we met online, or some distorted version of virtual you? Will you be as funny sober? You were hilarious last week when you met, but then we had downed three vodka and lemonades and a Jack Daniels.

What Women Don't Want

We don't want you to be late. Not even five minutes. We want you to be there first so that we don't have to hang around looking desperate in that dress we bought especially, but which now seems a bit over-the-top for a Wednesday night.

We want you to look smart, but not suit and tie smart. If you look like you can't be arsed then we'll assume you probably can't. We don't appreciate it when a guy turns up looking like he's spent the day in bed watching old re-runs of Friends, and grabbed the clothes he dropped at the side of the bed yesterday and decided they would do.

If we're out for a drink, we don't expect you to pay all night, but buying the first round would be appreciated.


Don't Be Shy

I once dated a guy who barely spoke to me all night. It was painful, excruciating even. I was longing for him to finish his drink so that we could go home. 'Another?' he asked. 'No thanks' I replied 'No worries, I'll just get myself another' he said as my little heart sank.

Talk to us, but don't make it all about you. We are interested in everything about you, but we'd also quite like you to ask us a thing or two. Even if you don't care where we work or what movies we like. Pretend that you do. Men that talk at us are a complete turn off. To us it shows you are a bit self-absorbed and perhaps a bit selfish in bed.

Look at us when we are talking. Don't gaze over our shoulder at the babe in the red dress or look at your dinner. If you disagree with something we've said then say so, we like a good debate.

Beyond The First Date

So you got lucky. We wanted to see you again because you were exactly what we expected and hoped for, and maybe a little bit more because you tried really hard to impress us.

This is not the time to let it all slide. Just because you've been together for six weeks, doesn't mean you can say 'job done'


How to Compliment a Woman

Women love to hear that they are beautiful, gorgeous, sexy and all that superficial stuff...at the beginning. We get bored with it after a while because it says nothing about us. Try complimenting us on our humour, our wit, our intelligence. Anything that doesn't mean you're thinking of getting us into bed.

Bed is good, don't get me wrong. But we don't want to think that's what it's all about. We want more than cute man, with little substance.


Be Your Own Person

Confidence is appealing. Personally I even like a bit of arrogance. It has to be balanced with a LOT of charm though. Pure arrogance and not much else is not a turn on. The arrogance thing is probably a weird personal preference though!

Be your own person. Women like attention, but they don't want to be bombarded with it. Push too hard and we'll pull away. The saying, nice guys come last isn't true, but we need to know you have your own thing going on.

Don't Play Mind Games

If you want to be with us then just say so. We'll know if you're trying too hard not to be interested. Don't try to make us all besotted and crazy by playing with our heads.

Women like to get what they see. We want you to say it as it is and assume that we are smarter than to fall for that sort of tactical dating style.

Don't Talk About Your Ex

Where possible try to avoid talk of your last partner. Good or bad, we really don't want to hear it. If you think that telling us you hate your ex with a passion will do anything for us, it won't.

That type of conversation is for later, when we know you well enough to know that you are not obsessed with your last relationship, you just want to get stuff off your chest. We can deal with that, but don't expect to make it a habit.

We're not so complicated really. Be open, be honest and be funny. Women like a man that can make them laugh.

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